Do you fear death either your own or a close friend or family member?
I fear for my family, and I guess I fear being the last to go. The pain I went through with my mom was horrible. We took her to the hospital for a medical test that was out patient. She never came home, spending 3 months in ICU before dying.
Does death impact how you lead your life ?
Live every day like it was your last, one day you will be right.
What are your thoughts about an after life?
My priest told me his idea of Heaven was to be fishing and catching a 400 pound Marlin. It would take him a year to reel him in. Once he had, he would pat it on the head and say, "Let's do this again in a year."
My biggest fear about living alone and death is that I will die in my bed overnight, and nobody will know for a time. After a week, my dog Crystal will either die of hunger or be well fed.
Oh yeah, and it doesn’t bother me because I know that when I do kick it, I’ll go home, that’s all. Home as in Heaven to be with everyone I love who has gone on before me (including all the lovely critters whose company I miss so much). I just have not a doubt about it. I’m comfortable in who I am and in how I spent my life and the choices that I made. Life has been hard but I did it right and took from no one and gave as much as I possibly could to help those less fortunate than me and, what with having my health problems, I’m still moving forward. I’m moving forward on different paths than I certainly would have chosen for myself, but still, it’s forward motion and I can look back and say ‘this person did this or that but I didn’t respond in kind’ and God has opened doors for me and life goes on. So there.
This is a tough one for me. I lost my step-father and uncle w/n a month of each other in the past 4 months. I have been thinking a lot about mortality and whether there is anything beyond. To me, believing in an afterlife is the easy path. We all want to believe, we want to see our loved ones again. I’ve been a widow since I was 38 and would certainly like to see my husband again. BUT...
Isn’t this all wishful thinking? There’s no proof that there is anything beyond the grave and all the wishing and praying won’t make an afterlife real.
So, I guess what I am struggling with is the finality of it; trying to be brave and not hold onto religion for an ‘answer.’ I’m not anti-religious, I pray, I’m a good person, but to my mind, none of that has anything to do with whether there is an afterlife.
Since we know ‘neither the day nor the hour,’ we should all live as good people, doing charity for others, treating our family members and co-workers well. For me, nothing in my behavior would change.
As far as an acceptable subject for discussion, I think it is a fair topic, but probably only with certain people.
My step-father had lung cancer. When I went to see him, which wound up being a month before his death, I talked to him normally. I had, however, sent him a letter a few months prior, telling him what I was doing, career-wise, and why I had chosen not to return to where my family lives on the east coast. I did this because I hadn’t seen my parents in years and my step-father was never one for phone conversations.
I had a lot of negative things I could have said, he treated my late husband and I terribly for years, but I hope I chose the higher road and just kept things light. Maybe I was a sap for not saying how I felt, but at this point, why burden a dying man? If there is any justice, as a believer, he went to his grave knowing he’d been a right ba$tard who would have to pay for his actions.
Sorry for the long post, but you’ve picked a topic that has been on my mind lately.
Depressing topic. Maybe something more cheerful?
Do you fear death either your own or a close friend or family member?
Yes & No. I do not fear my death anymore. After lying there on life support one tends to come to terms with mortality. I do not know what I will do when Mother joins Father. With what Social Security pays me, I am not sure I can afford to live anywhere.
Does death impact how you lead your life ?
Not really . . . well . . . Maybe. I wake up each morning and Thank God for the gift of living one more day. I know that one day I will wake up dead. Then I can thank God in person for the life I had.
If you though you only had a short time to live how would that affect you in various aspects of your life and would you be honest about it when meeting someone new.
Well, it is kinda hard to hide a 14 inch scar going up my chest. I am upfront about my health because it is a part of who I am.
What are your thoughts about an after life?
Very real.
Life as we know it is our school and proving ground. Death is our Graduation from Time into Eternity. The only question is which neighborhood we will be in when we get there. If we live our life with the goal of being near God, we will be. If we live a life wanting nothing to do with God, He will Honor that desire in the afterlife as well.
Do you think that death is an acceptable subject for a social discussion or is it on your ban list?
The more I think about it, the more important a topic this is. It is a given that we are on this thread looking for a lifetime partner. And to be blunt . . . in the ranking of Life-altering Events, Death is one of the biggies.
Do you feel awkward and not know how to deal with someone if they advise that they have a life threatening disease or even more so if they have been told they do not have long to live?
The few times I have been in that situation it has not been a problem.
Hi everyone, I didn’t introduce myself on the last thread *poor form, I apologize!* so let me fix that now;
I’m Ken, 39 YO guy, living in Fresno, conservative, registered Repub, car guy, loves travel, and has done much recently with trips to Scotland twice in 4 years (first trip in August 2002, 5 years ago to the DAY, a weekend in London in December ‘03, and a return to Edinburgh for Hogmanay this past December/January) yadda yadda yadda.
I’m a Bay Area native, having been born in Redwood City, CA (where Scott Peterson had his trial, for those not aware of Redwood City), grew up mostly in San Jose, then moved to Modesto for a little bit, and wound up in Fresno in November of ‘05.
This topic is quite familiar to me, as I’m living a life after my mother and step-father passed away somewhat recently. My mom succumbed to a recurrence of a brain tumor in ‘04, dying at a home my younger brother and sis-in-law were renting at the time, not but 7 minutes or so away from where I am now living, while my step-father passed away on his birthday, July ‘05, being prepped for having his left leg amputated below the knee (his heart stopped after having been given heart medication, then anesthesia).
There’s more to tell, but I think some folks would have their eyes roll up in their sockets after my posting, so I won’t do that now. But if anyone is interested, I’ll email them the Reader’s Digest version, as best as I can.
Hello my dear friend from Ashford.... Of course this topic resonates with me all the time.. Death per se was my last career as a grief counselor & Hospice/cancer/AIDS chaplain.
I know this topic for you is important as you lost a dear friend recently. After I have had a death, about all I do revolves around the resolution of various matters.. This past 18 months has been rough death wise as I have lost 4 close family members(aged 42-79); 6 close friends (aged 38 - 64), and too many FReeper friends, many of whom I had met face to face over the years. The loss of my Oliver(pup) and Cali(cat) last weekend were very difficult.
I have a lot of thoughts about the afterlife & the soul & heaven/hell.. but will withhold them for now. I always talk too much on this thread.
Nice to see so many new faces & people at various stages of their life’e experiences.
I will check back over the weekend. I am pretty tired now. Just got in a bit ago from seeing Bourne Ultimatum, which I enjoyed. I have been up since 4 AM & very busy & am wasted at this point.
Hope you all have a delightful week-end & can do some things that you love along the way..and be with people you love also. So important.
Well, I have not posted on the Singles Thread for some time, but this topic definitely hits home for me.
Some of you know that my husband died suddenly 5 1/2 years ago. We had a newborn baby at the time.
I have no fear of death. I believe he is in Heaven and one day I will see him again. In the mean time, our little boy needs his Mommy and most of my time is consumed with either working or taking care of him.
Unfortunately by the time I get around to reading my ping list, mostly every one else is already asleep.