This is a tough one for me. I lost my step-father and uncle w/n a month of each other in the past 4 months. I have been thinking a lot about mortality and whether there is anything beyond. To me, believing in an afterlife is the easy path. We all want to believe, we want to see our loved ones again. I’ve been a widow since I was 38 and would certainly like to see my husband again. BUT...
Isn’t this all wishful thinking? There’s no proof that there is anything beyond the grave and all the wishing and praying won’t make an afterlife real.
So, I guess what I am struggling with is the finality of it; trying to be brave and not hold onto religion for an ‘answer.’ I’m not anti-religious, I pray, I’m a good person, but to my mind, none of that has anything to do with whether there is an afterlife.
Since we know ‘neither the day nor the hour,’ we should all live as good people, doing charity for others, treating our family members and co-workers well. For me, nothing in my behavior would change.
As far as an acceptable subject for discussion, I think it is a fair topic, but probably only with certain people.
My step-father had lung cancer. When I went to see him, which wound up being a month before his death, I talked to him normally. I had, however, sent him a letter a few months prior, telling him what I was doing, career-wise, and why I had chosen not to return to where my family lives on the east coast. I did this because I hadn’t seen my parents in years and my step-father was never one for phone conversations.
I had a lot of negative things I could have said, he treated my late husband and I terribly for years, but I hope I chose the higher road and just kept things light. Maybe I was a sap for not saying how I felt, but at this point, why burden a dying man? If there is any justice, as a believer, he went to his grave knowing he’d been a right ba$tard who would have to pay for his actions.
Sorry for the long post, but you’ve picked a topic that has been on my mind lately.
Most Christians believe that if you put your trust in Christ and ask for forgiveness for your sons through his death on the cross that you will go to be with him (what is commonly called heaven) upon your death.
Which I know and am comforted that my closest freeper friend GretchenM believed and was totally sure of. As much as I miss her I believe she is in a better place now.
May you also find position that gives you some comfort.
Because of some things at work, I've been stressed and tired for a long time. I've been a moderator on this thread, so I knew this topic was coming, but when I read the questions, the afterlife question hit me hard. Maybe what I'm about to say will sound horrible, but the first thought that came through my mind about an afterlife was "Oh no, I'm way too tired to go to either Heaven or Hell. I'd never survive."
I spent quite a few years in church, and those experiences still shape much of my view of an "afterlife" and quite a few other things for that matter. Somewhere in the Bible is a verse that says that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. I'm an engineer. I understand nice, solid things, like Newtonian laws of motion and laws of thermodynamics. All of that faith stuff never worked for me, but I could see it work for others. Just because I can't make it work doesn't mean that it isn't real.
I can't validate what people of faith believe, but I can't write it off either. I agree that there's no proof of an afterlife, but I don't know what "instrument" I could use to measure whatever it would take to prove or disprove an afterlife. No one has invented a "God-o-meter" or "Heaven-o-meter" that would allow me to run those experiments. Many people who are certain that they have proof are a little scary.
When I said that I'm too tired for Heaven, I had this picture of the city with streets of gold, but cities stress me out. I had the usual Christian picture of a place where we all know each other equally and completely but do not have a unique, intimate, personal relationship with any one person. A place like that would be miserable for me. I've never had a "significant other," but I've been in plenty of the church type friendships where we all know each other but everything is platonic. I hate the thought of being stuck in that situation for eternity.
Ideally, when I die, God would just put me in suspended animation for a few million years. Maybe then I'd be rested enough to deal with the rest of heaven. If I couldn't have a wife and couldn't be put into suspended animation, then my view of heaven would be a cabin in the mountains. I'd be able to visit loved ones occasionally but wouldn't have people around me all the time. Of course, I have no reason either theologically or scientifically to believe in this idea being real. As you said, it would be wishful thinking.
This group has a strong tendency towards traditional Christian thought. My background gives me some understanding of that thought and even makes me agree with it on many levels. I appreciate your being open with a view that's probably a little different from what many people feel.
Thanks,
Bill