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Oh boy! You hit a biggie with me this time. It seems thoughts about death are never far from me. Not in a "Bad" way, just being realistic. There have been many events in my life to remind me that Life is fragile. I have been run over by a car twice. Shot at. Spent a day and a half on life support after a heart attack. And sence 1994 I have been doing the Eldercare gig, being the primary caregiver for my Mother who is 81 now.

Do you fear death either your own or a close friend or family member?

Yes & No. I do not fear my death anymore. After lying there on life support one tends to come to terms with mortality. I do not know what I will do when Mother joins Father. With what Social Security pays me, I am not sure I can afford to live anywhere.

Does death impact how you lead your life ?

Not really . . . well . . . Maybe. I wake up each morning and Thank God for the gift of living one more day. I know that one day I will wake up dead. Then I can thank God in person for the life I had.

If you though you only had a short time to live how would that affect you in various aspects of your life and would you be honest about it when meeting someone new.

Well, it is kinda hard to hide a 14 inch scar going up my chest. I am upfront about my health because it is a part of who I am.

What are your thoughts about an after life?

Very real.

Life as we know it is our school and proving ground. Death is our Graduation from Time into Eternity. The only question is which neighborhood we will be in when we get there. If we live our life with the goal of being near God, we will be. If we live a life wanting nothing to do with God, He will Honor that desire in the afterlife as well.

Do you think that death is an acceptable subject for a social discussion or is it on your ban list?

The more I think about it, the more important a topic this is. It is a given that we are on this thread looking for a lifetime partner. And to be blunt . . . in the ranking of Life-altering Events, Death is one of the biggies.

Do you feel awkward and not know how to deal with someone if they advise that they have a life threatening disease or even more so if they have been told they do not have long to live?

The few times I have been in that situation it has not been a problem.

very good & thoughtful answers. Easy to see you have “been there” & not just academically addressing some issues.

I too care give my mom & thoroughly understand what you are saying about SS.

One modification.. If you wake up “dead” you will wake up more alive than you have ever been as you will have shed a big burden..your body & its concerns. (my thoughts)

Night all..

and Eleanor, this is a good topic to discuss. very needed as western folk seem to like to bury the death mentality & it will disappear.of course then there are more problems in dealing with the reality when it occurs.

thanks again

To an extent I am still numb about GretchenM death, I was shocked when I received the email from her son then in retrospect not surprised as I knew of her many health issues but I agree when you put in the situation of someone who is dying or speaking to relatives of the person who has died or been given a short time to live somehow the words eventually do come.

If a relative especially a son or daughter is advising you of the death of a friend or relative that can be a difficult one but I have found that often if you can continue the conversation long enough you find the right words