Posted on 02/09/2007 9:20:30 PM PST by snugs
how can we know a fake from the real thing? i have been conned by the best, or i am just too stupid to see the con.
I honestly dont know how we can tell or where to look. And I am sorry to hear what you went through. I hope I did not offend you.
The minister's message was that many of us don't go deep enough in friendship and don't commit to marriage due to fear of rejection (or fatalistic fear of eventual divorce) -- or selfishness -- an attitude that THIS person X that I know, well, they just don't measure up to all the mandatory requirements on my unspoken checklist of demands.
Only time will tell whether someone will become your friend. You can't rush that. If one person is doing all the 'heavy lifting' in the relationship, be aware of this and act with wisdom.
i guess the emphasis needs to be on MUTUAL agreement on abstinence... (i wrote more, and deleted it and started over 3 times...LOL )
I think you can't really look for it. If it happens, it happens. But if you go looking for it, the odds are you're going to accept something that isn't really right because you're looking for anything. At least that's what I think. I've tried to stop worrying about it. Whatever happens is up to God. That's really hard to do but whenever I specifically went looking for a boyfriend, I never found the right guy.
it takes way more than that to offend me!! :;grin::
you are talking to someone who gets into food fights for fun!! (see earlier in the thread?) you weren't scared i would toss that "Ninja throwing disc" at you, were ya? if it did, it would miss cuz i took a bite out of it first! LOL
so, does that mean don't have a checklist? it isn't demands....but it is a list of things i am looking for, and things from the past relationships that were bad that i don't want again.
A flamewar and hatefest on FR? I don't believe it./s
Mutual. But of COURSE!
That's why the Bible says we must be 'Equally yoked.'
And Amos 3:3 says:
Can two people walk together
without agreeing on the direction?
If somebody is after the wrong thing in the wrong order, they're the WRONG PERSON for you, RUN.
LOL no. I have this pathological fear of accidently sending the wrong message. Mis-understandings are easy to happen over the internet because you see lines of text, not somone's face.
LOL I missed the 'food fight' on the thread last night but I saw it this morning.
Checklists are double-edged swords. If they are based on Scriptural ABSOLUTES like abstinence until marriage and fidelity afterwards--and integrity in dealings with all, these are crucial. And compromising THESE non-negotiables will lead to heartache, without fail.
On the other hand, if the checklist includes too much selfishness based on personal whims and desires--such as, he must be tall and rich, she must be fun and curvy--etc. these will cloud good judgment and wisdom.
Hey snugs!
Is that a VW GOLF? LOL
Where's the water trap?
get my drift!?
i am a visual person, and eye contact is always very important (thanks dad for instilling that one!)...can't get that here...
were you looking at me when i was talking to you? ::laughing::
worry less! be yourself, hon! if you say something and it isn't clear, we will ask for clarification, ok?!! ::wink::
It actually made the Linux and immigration threads look like church replete with everyone singing kum-by-yah (trust me, that says quite a bit)...
one of the things i have learned, i think i posted before the thread got pulled... and it was you or snugs that responded to it...
a person needs to be secure in who they are, know who they are in themselves and in Christ, before they are going to be any good in a relationship. it means getting to the point of being able to say, i can live alone the rest of my life and am ok with that...
it doesn't mean live lonely. you have friends, and you do things. but you also know yourself, love yourself for who God made you to be, and are being the best you can be.
then, the relationship will come as God brings it. otherwise we set ourselves up for disaster. we look for someone else to complete us, to define out identity (spouse, or kids). then if there are ever problems in that relationship, and/or it ends...our identity is lost! no one can make another person happy, and it isn't their responsibility to do so, either. again, it is part of the identity thing, IMHO.
a speaker i heard recently said, 'GOD knows who the mate is that He has chosen for you. That person could be continents away. Only God knows who it is. If you don't know who it is, but God does, doesn't it make sense to draw yourself as close to God as possible so He can bring you both together? after all, HE is the only one who knows who that person is and where they are! Get closer to God and He will make it happen, His time, His way.'
amen!
so, in the meantime...i am open to FRiendships galore! how's that!?? :;grin::
cool car! what's mpg on it? kinda a problem for aerodynamics? FORE!!
Despite my shyness, I am visual too.
worry less! be yourself, hon! if you say something and it isn't clear, we will ask for clarification, ok?!! ::wink::
Thanks :)
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