so, does that mean don't have a checklist? it isn't demands....but it is a list of things i am looking for, and things from the past relationships that were bad that i don't want again.
Checklists are double-edged swords. If they are based on Scriptural ABSOLUTES like abstinence until marriage and fidelity afterwards--and integrity in dealings with all, these are crucial. And compromising THESE non-negotiables will lead to heartache, without fail.
On the other hand, if the checklist includes too much selfishness based on personal whims and desires--such as, he must be tall and rich, she must be fun and curvy--etc. these will cloud good judgment and wisdom.