The official weekend (substitute) thread (9-11th Feb 2007)

9th February 2007 | Snugs

[snugs]

Next week is Valentine's Day which for some of us if we are single can be depressing on the other hand we do not have the dilemma will We buy the right bottle of perfume, wine or box of chocolates. Will we pick the right restaurant, movie or play.

Instead of concentrating on the lack of a partner at the time of year lets look at the positives of our lives as singles. Places we can go, things we can do without having to negotiate with a partner.

Some may have children or elderly parents which means you are restricted but even so these are family members that most times offer unconditional love and support even if at times it does not seem like it. A partner gives love but often conditional love, a relationship that has to be worked at rather than being born into. There are great rewards in both and pressures in both.

As singles we can also appreciate and enjoy seeing happy couples this Valentines and sympathising with those who are just acting it out and being thankful once again that being single is preferable in many cases to pretending.

Be positive lets think of happy past Valentine Days maybe as a child for a lot of women when your father made you feel special. I know several families where the father always sends valentine cards to his daughters even though they are grown just to make sure they are not forgotten.

Come on all lets have fun and not dwell on what we do not have but celebrate that what we do have.

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

Repeat Courtship/Chivalry/Abstinence post due to--or is it in spite of--popular demand! LOL...

Well, it's Valentine's Day Weekend and millions of us are wondering when we'll find our Someone Special. What are some of the things that such a special one as we seek would expect us to be doing as we pursue them--or bide our time waiting for them to find (or recognize) us?

NEWS: I am engaged--not to any woman yet--(Gotcha!)--but in writing several books on dating, courtship and marriage. Later this weekend I will post some sections for reading and comments.

Meanwhile, a fascinating interchange about headship, chivalrous courtship behavior and the Pope...

...and a related thread

...and while THIS article might overstate the situation, a minister addressing the singles group I attended a few years ago suggested that singles in a lot of cases don't marry for one or both of two reasons: fear or selfishness. He sure stepped on some toes--including mine--and he was absolutely correct.

THIS thread would tie in with that.

Lastly, here's a post that seemed to resonate with quite a few people:
"In the case of dating or engaged couples, it is generally the woman who sets the sexual tone of the relationship."

---

TRUE, because so many males are thinking only with their 'lower brain' and are not being the guardian God intended for them to be. Yes, a man IS to be the guardian of his betrothed's chastity until the honeymoon. (Engagements need not be years long--witness the Old Testament marriage of King David with Abigail, for example--and to be valid, need a real wedding date commitment.) Indeed there are males (and females as well) out there who surrender their self-control to their sex drive. If the male is intent on gratification (in other words, is undisciplined in this area) then in yielding to his tempation, he surrenders the responsibility to say no until the proper time to the woman. This is a perversion of headship. In such cases, hopefully the woman uses not just emotion but also wisdom to determine if the guy will stay around to raise any children procreated. Our single-mother epidemic would indicate that this is not the case.

Please chime in with your thoughts! And--let's look for positive things to say--and gentle ways to indicate disagreement.

[snugs]

?

[Hoodlum91]

Thanks for re-posting Spirit! I missed the first go-around.

[snugs]

Some Valentine food/drinks suggestions which also work for non Valentine days

Valentine Smoothie Recipe

My kids got a kick out of these. I made them for 2 servings

10 min 10 min prep

1 cup vanilla yogurt
1 ripe banana, peeled, frozen, and sliced
2 tablespoons strawberry jam
1 tablespoon honey
3-4 drops red food coloring

In a blender container, add yogurt, banana, jam, honey, and food coloring.

Cover and blend on high until smooth and foamy.

Pour into glasses and serve immediately.

Bittersweet Chocolate Mousse for Your Valentine

4 servings

43 min 3 min prep

4 large egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar
1 pinch salt
2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
3/4 cup heavy cream

In a double boiler, whisk together the yolks, sugar and salt until the sugar dissolves and the mixture is warm. This takes 3 minutes.

Remove from heat and quickly whisk in the chocolate.

Whisk until the chocolate melts completely and you have a yummy thick mixture before you.

Allow it to cool to room temperature.

In a medium bowl over lots of ice, whip chilled cream until soft peaks form.

Whisk half of this mixture into the chocolate mixture. Then use a rubber spatula and gently fold in the remaining cream.

Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours and upto 24 hours.

Thaw 15 minutes before serving.

Enjoy!

[Maximus_Ridiculousness]

I don't think anyone was ever against reposting The Spirit of Allegiance's opening comments. It was the complete thread we didn't want to re-live all over again.

[MountainFlower]

were you by chance trying to say back there that you couldn't have been hit by anything because you were hiding in the closet??!! Hmmmm???

[rzeznikj at stout]

no, hiding, ah, never mind...

[MountainFlower]

hello! you missed the food fight last night!! i got plastered, they claim to be unscathed! ::cough, cough::

[ilovew]

Hey, I saw your throwing. You throw like a girl. :P

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

"Bittersweet Chocolate Mousse for Your Valentine"

This recipe is no good.

I thought I'd try it, so I hit 'print' but it TASTED LIKE PAPER.

;^)

[Hoodlum91]

I guess I missed the excitement. By the time I showed up we were here.

[rzeznikj at stout]

Trust me, you din't miss a thing. Just a nasty flamewar and a vile hatefest.

[Maximus_Ridiculousness]

It was not a pretty sight.

[MountainFlower]

i struggled with fighting guys off for forever (it had nothing to do with my looks)...i think there were only ever 2 guys in my lifetime that never were pressing for the physical side of a relationship. i wasn't in love with either of them, so i let go. stupid me.

it gets frustrating when it seems that is the only reason for the relationship...it would nice to be taken seriously, seen as an intelligent woman, and not seen as a stereotype for my hair color, or see through the glasses of sexuality.

when we go through that kind of experience it is hard to want to date...we have had enough bad experiences.

it also gets tiring when we have to be the ones to uphold the morality end of it, because the guy can't take control of his own desires and use restraint.

i would love to see courting instead of dating...but now i am too old and not sure i even care to bother any more... on the way out of my third disaster, and with the statistics saying that 4th marriages fail at a 9 out of 10 rate...what would be the point! like i need more failure?

find me a knight who really knows what chivalry is, how to treat a lady and talk to her, who knows how to BE a father to daughters, who supports his lady in her aspirations and dreams as she supports his...

[MountainFlower]

LOL

i have never thought of sampling recipes that way. i am glad you tested it first!!

[Osmium]

Good evening

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

[Osmium]

it gets frustrating when it seems that is the only reason for the relationship...it would nice to be taken seriously, seen as an intelligent woman, and not seen as a stereotype for my hair color, or see through the glasses of sexuality.

I would take a woman seriously. Of course I want a full fledged relationship, not just physical. I hope to find a woman who wants the same thing.

i would love to see courting instead of dating...but now i am too old and not sure i even care to bother any more... on the way out of my third disaster, and with the statistics saying that 4th marriages fail at a 9 out of 10 rate...what would be the point! like i need more failure?

The increasing failure rate of marraiges is gloomy indeed. Sometimes I wonder what the point is trying, but I hold hope that I find mrs. right.

[MountainFlower]

your theory is that it is fear, or what was the other?

i guess maybe after all that, it might be a little of fear...after going thru all that, i am scared to even try again. having been betrayed, how can i trust again...he was supposed to be my best friend and all the information a best friend is given in confidence was used to hurt me. how can you trust again, if the person who was supposed to protect you is the one you needed protection from?

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

When people commit to abstinence before marriage, the pressure is OFF. When people commit to be unconditional friends and do their honest best to be that regardless of any unilateral or mutual romantic hopes--that sets the stage for a healthy relationship.

Once you've met somebody, you have a relationship with them. That relationship is ACQUAINTENCESHIP, which must somehow be tested by fire and time before it's truly a FRIENDSHIP. Friendship is a profound relationship, whether of the 'platonic' or 'beyond platonic' type.