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Repeat Courtship/Chivalry/Abstinence post due to--or is it in spite of--popular demand! LOL...

Well, it's Valentine's Day Weekend and millions of us are wondering when we'll find our Someone Special. What are some of the things that such a special one as we seek would expect us to be doing as we pursue them--or bide our time waiting for them to find (or recognize) us?

NEWS: I am engaged--not to any woman yet--(Gotcha!)--but in writing several books on dating, courtship and marriage. Later this weekend I will post some sections for reading and comments.

Meanwhile, a fascinating interchange about headship, chivalrous courtship behavior and the Pope...

...and a related thread

...and while THIS article might overstate the situation, a minister addressing the singles group I attended a few years ago suggested that singles in a lot of cases don't marry for one or both of two reasons: fear or selfishness. He sure stepped on some toes--including mine--and he was absolutely correct.

THIS thread would tie in with that.

Lastly, here's a post that seemed to resonate with quite a few people:
"In the case of dating or engaged couples, it is generally the woman who sets the sexual tone of the relationship."

TRUE, because so many males are thinking only with their 'lower brain' and are not being the guardian God intended for them to be. Yes, a man IS to be the guardian of his betrothed's chastity until the honeymoon. (Engagements need not be years long--witness the Old Testament marriage of King David with Abigail, for example--and to be valid, need a real wedding date commitment.) Indeed there are males (and females as well) out there who surrender their self-control to their sex drive. If the male is intent on gratification (in other words, is undisciplined in this area) then in yielding to his tempation, he surrenders the responsibility to say no until the proper time to the woman. This is a perversion of headship. In such cases, hopefully the woman uses not just emotion but also wisdom to determine if the guy will stay around to raise any children procreated. Our single-mother epidemic would indicate that this is not the case.

Please chime in with your thoughts! And--let's look for positive things to say--and gentle ways to indicate disagreement.

Thanks for re-posting Spirit! I missed the first go-around.

i struggled with fighting guys off for forever (it had nothing to do with my looks)...i think there were only ever 2 guys in my lifetime that never were pressing for the physical side of a relationship. i wasn't in love with either of them, so i let go. stupid me.

it gets frustrating when it seems that is the only reason for the relationship...it would nice to be taken seriously, seen as an intelligent woman, and not seen as a stereotype for my hair color, or see through the glasses of sexuality.

when we go through that kind of experience it is hard to want to date...we have had enough bad experiences.

it also gets tiring when we have to be the ones to uphold the morality end of it, because the guy can't take control of his own desires and use restraint.

i would love to see courting instead of dating...but now i am too old and not sure i even care to bother any more... on the way out of my third disaster, and with the statistics saying that 4th marriages fail at a 9 out of 10 rate...what would be the point! like i need more failure?

find me a knight who really knows what chivalry is, how to treat a lady and talk to her, who knows how to BE a father to daughters, who supports his lady in her aspirations and dreams as she supports his...