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The Official Friday Silliness Thread Salutes Silly Songs Part Deux
9-08-06 | Sully777

Posted on 09/08/2006 2:58:35 AM PDT by sully777

Blimey It's Friday--Crack A Tube!!!



Monty Python Bruce Sketch




TMBG: Birdhouse In Your Soul


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KEYWORDS: birdhouse; bonkbonkbonkbonkbonk; cartoons; deadpuppies; earcandy; earwax; earwig; friday; frivolousfreaks; itsfriday; kookookachoo; kumquats; moreyoutube; silliness; weekend; yipyipyahoo
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To: BJClinton

Wife: How many women on PMS does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Husband: I don't know. How many?
Wife: Three.
Husband (curious): Oh, how come three?
Wife (on the verge of tears, red-faced and screaming): It just does!


121 posted on 09/08/2006 9:30:52 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: Maximus of Texas

Dude needs to surrender his testicles and carry a purse.


122 posted on 09/08/2006 9:32:01 AM PDT by BJClinton (What happens on Free Republic, stays on Google.)
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To: ArGee; BJClinton

Sniglets: words for things that should have words but don't (By Rich Hall):
ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' dee yon ay tid)
adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.
AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus)
adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' ree um)
n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye (or, ear).
BURGACIDE (burg' uh side)
n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
BUZZACKS (buz' aks)
n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.
CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun)
n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
DIMP (dimp)
n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"
DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt')
v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will `remove' all the germs.
ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma)
n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.
EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz)
n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.
ELBONICS (el bon' iks)
n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun)
n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
FRUST (frust)
n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun)
n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side.
NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see)
n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.
PEPPIER (pehp ee ay')
n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik)
adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n.
The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
PUPKUS (pup' kus)
n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun)
n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
THERMOSTATRICS (ther mo stat' rix)
n. Similar to 'elecelleration' above, the mistaken notion that if you set the thermostat to 95 degrees the room will warm up to a comfortable 70 degrees faster.


123 posted on 09/08/2006 9:32:55 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: Maximus of Texas
I don't trust those swings either


124 posted on 09/08/2006 9:37:33 AM PDT by Lucky9teen ( If you can't, you must. If you must, you can.)
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To: BJClinton
Nah, it's just your web pages are stuck together.

How can you tell when a blonde has been using your word processor?

White-out on the screen.

Shalom.

125 posted on 09/08/2006 9:54:39 AM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: ArGee
Ok, since there is so much silliness going on with the alphabet networks and this thread is about silly songs, check out this thread NBC slices and dices "Veggie Tales"

It may not be a silly thread, but it's disturbing, which makes it just fine for this here thread...
126 posted on 09/08/2006 9:59:57 AM PDT by Lucky9teen ( If you can't, you must. If you must, you can.)
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To: ArGee
This blonde walks into a bank in Manhattan and asks to speak to a loan officer. She is finally shown into his office and requests a $5,000 personal loan for a two week vacation.

The bank officer says, "Madam, we'd be happy to assist you. As you may not know, generally with a loan we need something of value that we can use as collateral. Would you have anything of value which could secure a $5,000 loan?

The woman says nothing but puts her car keys on the table and waves to the window. Outside is parked a vintage Rolls Royce that appears to be in perfect condition. "Is that your Rolls?" he asks, somewhat surprised. She nonchalantly nods her head. "Excuse me just a moment," he says.

After a few moments he returns to the office and says, "Everything appears to be in order. The title on the car is clean and there is no lien. We will be happy to accept the car as collateral. If you'll just sign this document I'll go get your cash." He then hands the keys to one of the banks' runners to move the car down to the parking garage.

The blonde gets her money and leaves while the loan officer and several other of the bank employees laugh at the stupid blonde who puts up a $75,000 car as collateral for a $5,000 personal loan.

Two weeks later she is back and turns in the $5,000. He tells her that $13.45 in interest is due, which she pays by check. The loan officer sends a runner for her car and says, "Madam, is it OK if I ask you a question?"

"Sure," she replies.

"Well, while you were gone we did a little checking and we found out that you are actually quite wealthy. In fact, we can't imagine why you would need $5,000 to go on a vacation anywhere in the world? Do you mind telling me why you arranged for that loan?"

"Well," she said slowly, "can you think of anywhere else in Manhattan I could park my Rolls for two weeks for $13.45 and expect to get it back in good shape?"

I guess there are smart blondes.

Shalom.

127 posted on 09/08/2006 10:07:38 AM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: ArGee
Hey, ArGee, why are you telling jokes to yourself?

Shalom.

128 posted on 09/08/2006 10:08:13 AM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: ArGee
You shutup!

Shalom.

129 posted on 09/08/2006 10:08:29 AM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: nuke rocketeer
This might be the solution for Houston traffic.


130 posted on 09/08/2006 10:14:54 AM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: ArGee

One word for you:

decaf


131 posted on 09/08/2006 10:14:59 AM PDT by HOTTIEBOY (I'm your huckleberry)
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To: ArGee

Erm,
I think you're winning.


132 posted on 09/08/2006 10:16:08 AM PDT by najida (The internet is for kids grown up-- Where else could you have 10,000 imaginary friends?)
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To: Lucky9teen

133 posted on 09/08/2006 10:16:26 AM PDT by BJClinton (What happens on Free Republic, stays on Google.)
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To: BJClinton

134 posted on 09/08/2006 10:17:36 AM PDT by BJClinton (What happens on Free Republic, stays on Google.)
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To: HOTTIEBOY
One word for you:

Which one of me?

Shalom.

135 posted on 09/08/2006 10:18:56 AM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: BJClinton
I made this one yesterday, thought it was pretty funny and a good depiction of how she truly is


136 posted on 09/08/2006 10:20:09 AM PDT by Lucky9teen ( If you can't, you must. If you must, you can.)
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To: The_Victor
Or this one.........

It might mean less trouble with the BATFE............

137 posted on 09/08/2006 10:20:21 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: ArGee

138 posted on 09/08/2006 10:20:26 AM PDT by BJClinton (What happens on Free Republic, stays on Google.)
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To: BJClinton

139 posted on 09/08/2006 10:22:28 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: Lucky9teen

50 Ways to Get Bin Laden

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5139269084770304507&q=weird+al+is%3Afree


140 posted on 09/08/2006 10:23:20 AM PDT by fredhead (Women want me....Fish fear me....I can dream can't I?)
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