Posted on 05/21/2006 6:36:08 PM PDT by Mr. Brightside
The All-State high school quaterback wants to date my homeschooled daughter.
The boy and his brother are two of the hardest working high school athletes I have ever seen.
His parents have been married for nearly 20 years. They attend church semi-regularyly.
My daughter has never been on a date.
I'd be polishing those Parrott 10-pounders.
Dating is a stupid and pointless activity.
If the answer is "yes", then I'll warrant the gal is safer than you know.
You can't measure what's in a man's heart.
I've got 3 daughters.... one is a high school freshman, with the other two following ... all of my daughters friends like me but "fear" me.
I'm not a "pal" or "buddy", I'm her father.
I'm polite but upfront. In my office we have the "sit down".
Don't bring her home late,
don't try to get her drunk/high/stoned or intoxicate,
don't think that you're in anyway going to have sex with her (and I say "sex"..not the f-word)
and I finish by asking him to talk to my daughter.... and ask her what she thinks I'd do to anybody that hurt her.
After that I smile, shake his hand, pat him on the back, tell him to have fun and not forget our little talk.
If there is more than one date or "dating" starts we go into the whole meet the parents deal....in other words I'm a pain in the a#$.
I tell my daughters (and son) that I don't care what anybody else does they will have rules. I also tell them that I love them more than life itself and that I would do anything in order to protect them.... anything.(my emphasis).
...by the way any seniors or juniors that need to date a freshman are automatically suspect...
that's a neat web page..thanks.
Since she is 17 and you have a personal relationship with the young man, I would say to him ask her out if you would like to and think she will say yes. I say this for a number of reasons:
1. She will leave home soon and needs as you say to come out of her shell.
2. You have a relationship with the young man which while not fool proof is the best you will ever do for a date for your daughter. Someone who knows you is less likely to misbehave too badly.
3. You should certainly say yes now if you think she will say no to him. Then in a few years when she wants to date a 35 year old biker, you can say know without seemingly saying know every time a potential date comes up.
Depending on her age - absolutely! Why not? I dated football players and never had a problem. At least he's not a red diaper doper baby.
That's okay -- I have several months to think about it. Actually - it would be better to pull it out when they're having a bit of a tiff, don't you think? :-)
Despite the somewhat popularity of the book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", it is pretty messed up. I would strongly recommend the Townsend and Cloud book, "Boundaries in Dating". The intro explains why they have a poor opinion of the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". Makes a lot of sense.
I once dated a very, very close personal friend of mine. We had been friends for many years and thought maybe we were compatible as a couple. My first kiss goodnight with her was my last. We were better friends than lovers, and I felt like I was kissing my sister. She felt the same way and we have been lifelong friends since.
With my daughters it was pretty simple. I took a 12 gauge shell and a marker, put the boys name on it while he waited and one simple statement. "Respect her and I won't have to use this on you."
Worked like a charm.
Thanks for that- I've not read either of those, but my wife and I did things right, and we have a great marriage going on 13 years now.
Thanks.
Last night when I posted the question, I was trying to get my youngest in bed, make sure the barn chores were finished, arrange a ride for my son to get home from football and trying my best to recover from the news that the top quarterback in the state wanted to date my daughter.
As the father of a 15 year-old girl, the answer is "No, boy. Never. Now get away from my front door before I let the dogs loose."
Actually you're right. I never make mistakes.
..better with someone you already know and approve and can control the situation (at some level) and let her know you trust her.
Your daughter's high opinion of you should carry her through as she wouldn't want to disappoint you.
I think you've thought this through well.
We have a rule in out house, NO dating of ANY kind while in High School. My Kids(all 5 of them) LOVE it. They say that it gives then freedom to have friends of both sexes.
Another excellent book is "Finding the Love of Your Life", by Neil Clarke Warren. Excellent advise for choosing a mate when the time comes.
If you give us the name of the state you live in, maybe we can find out some more about the guy. ;-)
I would totally agree on the date with one provision. That you send a 300 lb. Chaperone/Bouncer, on the date with them...
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