Posted on 12/31/2005 6:03:20 PM PST by Dutchgirl
Yesterday, I sat in a theater watching "The Producers" while "Brokeback Mountain" ran in the empty theater next door...and it hit me. Someone is making a bundle selling 100% of "Brokeback Mountain" a guaranteed flop, to several investors.
It explains so much.
Like, how our country could be at war and films like "Stealth" are produced.
And it got me thinking...if I were really out to alienate and offend 80% of the country, what would be my next film? I immediatly thought of casting James Brolin as Ronald Reagan...but that's been done.
How about "The Oliver North Story" starring Christopher Walken.(I don't think I need to add anything to this)
Or the Rob Reiner vehicle "Being Ben Franklin." Rob Reiner travels back in time to the Constitutional Convention ...
Or how about this one...the story too big for one actor, one ego...Jack Nicholson AND William Shatner ARE Bill Clinton!!
How about a movie about the Crusades that has evil Christians fighting against noble Muslims? Or maybe a grand pre-roman saga that portrays one of the greatest generals in history as a fairy boy?
With me, the film would be a hit!
Didn't she star in "Orca"?
No, it was 'Rug Munching on Holiday Break'.
Why did they remake The Producers? It's plain wrong.
What movies would I pitch to Hollywood?
The Rosie O'Donnell Story
I Was Anderson Cooper's Underage Chinadoll
Our Nazi Friends by Cindy Shehan
The French Colonel's Wife's Armpit Hair
Iranian Women Gone Wild
"The Bridge Over the River Chappaquiddick" ;)
Oh, no. I see this as a real film, with a miraculous second vehicle, something along the lines of "My Cousin, Vinnie" somehow exhonerating the swimmer...
Mary Jo staged her own suicide as a murder: Grabbed the steering wheel and caused the car to go off the bridge and into the river, shoved the clueless (and totally innocent Teddy, who forgot that he'd been drinking and was only trying to do the good deed of giving her a ride home) out of the car, and then positioned herself so that her nose was facing that air pocket to make it appear that the spirit-lovin' one didn't try to rescue her.
P.S. Mary Jo's motive: She knew she didn't have life insurance that would pay in the event of suicide, and she needed a way to see that her parents got a new house. ;)
(add plot twist) and she was really A MAN(played by Uma Thurman)...Oh yes, we'd all pay big bucks to see that...
Will the Academy shut us out of the awards if we make it a musical? ;)
LOL! That surely can not be topped.
A musical "My Cousin Vinnie" and "A Crying game." are you kidding? ( I envision a cross dressing Chris Dodd singing "Stand by Your Man..."as the credits roll.)
Oh--c'mon, try. They let John Voight play John Paul II...I hear they're remaking " The Quiet Man" with Sean Penn and Robin Wright.
Well, Chstopher Walken rather than Jon Voight, maybe. The Vatican needs more cowbell.
And that reminds me--aren't there some Saturday Night Live lameass alumni that haven't made a vehicle?
Garret Morris IS / ARE Kofi Annan AND Yasser Arafat..in the wacky comedy "The Peace Trap!" with a cameo from Haley Mills...
Hey-, we already had that on the History Channel. The Muslims were inclusive nice people who lived in harmony with nature as a pluralistic society along side Christians in Jerusalem until the bad evil Christians came, who were entirely motivated by greed and riches. Watch the documentary on the History channel titled “The Crusades”.
Red6
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.