Posted on 10/13/2005 7:46:27 AM PDT by StJulian Perlmutter
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
And; last, but not least!
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Might I say that it's a BIGGER turn off when a woman has a bad opinion of her looks than if she actually were unattractive.
That said, you're attractive. So stop already.
Nobody likes their own picture. I'm one of those people but I've been told I take a good picture, too, and I don't see that in myself.
We all have some sort of mental defect, right? You have just found mine. I am working on it, but it is a painful process.
I know most people hate their pictures. I hate cameras. Hell, I had have a few drinks before I would even let the picture be taken.
That's a great book for kids !
Well I started going bald at 18 (I'm now 28.) I had a complex for a while till I discovered that I look pretty damn good with a shaved head and a goatee :-)
I'm the same way!!!!
WHAT??!! No LEATHER???!! Great... a biker chick posts her pic on FR, and it's like she's dressed for work at the accounting office. ho hum.
You've got that Bill Goldberg, kind of sexy thing going on, huh?
"11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme."
I worked at Target for 5 years. We actually had 2 guys on the security team that did that kind of stuff everday. Except for the humming part. They would run crouched down low, darting between racks and displays. They were so obvious that I was always amazed when they actually caught a shoplifter. They only worked there for a couple of years but it made for lots of laughter.
I have no other pictures of me. I hide from cameras.
Yup.
Yeah, and where's the skin-tight leather pants in your pic???
I injured my back years ago. It caused me to gain weight because I was unable to do anything at all. I could barely stand for more than 10 minutes at a time. I have lost some of the weight, but I would not be caught dead in skin-tight leather pants. I do not think they make them in my size, and they shouldn't.
I am a realist. I know what I look like. I have a mirror. I hate people that wear skimpy clothes that they have no business wearing.
You need to add a large tarp to complete the ensemble. And maybe a hacksaw.
SD
"Um...well in college I actually did a couple of those things..."
I am not surprised!
Ahh, yes... I remember as a freshman in college, my girlfriend and her three friends wanted to stop into Victoria's Secret. I was embarrassed to be seen, but the salesgirl said, "Don't be shy, strut! Ya got four hot women dragging you into see where they buy their underwear!"
Mark
Last year my girlfriend actually did go into a Wal-Mart for about an hour. I simply waited outside reading a newspaper and a book.
Lighten up Francis!
Yeah, going bald here as well and 22. It is pretty thin on top, though I have seen some much further along at my age.
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