Posted on 10/13/2005 7:46:27 AM PDT by StJulian Perlmutter
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
And; last, but not least!
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
MizSterious:
PBBBTTTTTT :^P
I enjoyed the post. If anyone actually DID any of these, it'd just give'm something to talk about. I remember working at the IRS, a truly depressing job. Something silly was always a pickme up, whether it was an AT&T saleswoman describing herself as a "call girl," or encountering dependents named "Syd Phyllis" and "Gona-Rhea."
All FReeper chicks are beautiful.
It's a given.
So there.
Ah, I see you heeded the warning and did not open the link.
Sorry some have attacked your post in there knee jerk need to defend Wal-Mart rather than ATTEMPTING TO HAVE a sense of humor. I enjoyed it.
Thank you.
>> I like to buy things like condoms, duct tape, and Gatoraide. <<
Funny story:
I was moving and discovered I didn't have some of the equipment I needed. I was supposed to be gone by 9 AM that morning, so I was very rushed. At 7 AM, I showed up at the local Home Supply store, sweaty, and dressed in ratty old clothes (for moving), and asked "quick, I need masking tape, some rope, and a large knife."
The floor girl was slightly started, but cracked a smirk, so I added, "like it was someone YOU knew."
Au contraire.
You are a very brave man, Slim.
When I was a younger man I was out late with my girlfriend and her friend. We stopped at the store so I could pick up a box of condoms, a carton of cigarettes, and a half gallon of Gatoraide.
The kid at the counter looked at me and the two girls and looked like he wanted to shake my hand.
Get on the intercom and say something crazy.
You simply go #96 on any phone and you are on.
Of course, this is rather juvenile, but you could do it.
Well, not exactly NO-BODY. I'll admit to having done stuff remarkably similar to #s 1, 3, 5 and 10. And other stuff, like putting "Kosher" labels on the Polish Hams (offend 2 ethnic groups with one word!); hooking the lousdpeaker up to Pink Floyd, etc.
I did #15 at a voting booth... very obviously joking, though.
"Hey, there's no toilet paper in here."
"Very funny, sir."
"Well, you need to vote against incumbents sometimes for the same reason you need toilet paper."
Lighten up and get a sense of humor.
lol
oh my word man. I really, really, really needed a laugh like this this week.
Oh my gosh. :)
Getting help at Wal-Mart is more like running clear around the store just trying to find an actual employee.
LOL!!!
lol!
LOL, no ROFLOL!!! I'll have to remember than one next time I'm moving house!
If you want a Google GMail account, FReepmail me.
They're going fast!
I see it, and I think it is hideous.
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