Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...
Smoker's Lounge
Posted on 07/30/2004 10:20:28 AM PDT by Just another Joe
Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...
Smoker's Lounge
Here you will find a comfy place to smoke, drink, joke or whatever. We always have a great time, so sit back, relax and...
Naw, just got a big, (Whoooppps), lucky.
Well you are ugly. But I am twice as ugly. I win WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
shhhh. Don't reveal the secret to having charisma.
Howdy, Joe! It's good to be home. Tried to drink my way to sobriety up in Alaska for the past month, but the damn fishing kept getting in the way. Now I'm parched. Would you be so kind as to pour me a scotch?
Thank you. If'n you twist my arm, maybe we can get back up there by the time the Silvers are running.
The man on the right looks "seasoned", and the little girl is absolutely precious.
As for the dweeb in glasses, I *still* resemble him, and I'm over 40!
Then again, I'm just a "little guy".
< BG >
As Joe has been quite busy the last while and hasn't had time to open the lounge since July 31, I thought I would take it upon myself to ping y'all to an older thread.
I can't be here for overlong, nor do I have any graphics to post, but at least we've got the door pried off its hinges.
Thanks Don - I was thinking about this just last night, as a matter of fact!!!!!!!!
HI JOE! Long time no see. How the heck are you?
Howdy sunshine!!!!!!!!
You're welcome, glad I could do something.
A story that ended up in my mailbox this week.
PETS - WHY DON'T THEY LIVE AS LONG AS PEOPLE?
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane were all very attached to Belker and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family there were no miracles left for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for the four-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt Shane could learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.
We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, I know why." Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said, "Everybody is born so that they can learn how to live a good life - like loving everybody and being nice, right?" The four-year-old continued, "Well, animals already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."
that's sweet.
Harley-Davidson Owner's Group (HOG) Qualification Test
1. The primary purpose of HOG is to promote: A) Fellowship among Harley-Davidson owners B) Chrome-plating C) Motorcycle Gangs D) Inbreeding
2. You see another HOG member riding the opposite direction on the highway you are on. You either: A). Hold your arm off to the left and gesture with a proud salute B). act too cool to notice and keep going C). Turn around, chase him down and beat him up for his chrome accessories D). Run after him frantically waving for help, since you've been stranded on the hard shoulder for over 5 hours
3. When performing your pre-ride check, you notice a few drops of engine oil on the floor underneath your motorcycle. You should: A). Immediately clean it up with a towel or other B). Breath a sigh of relief that the engine still contains oil and optimistically press the starter switch C). Dab your fingers on the stain and then on your face, achieving that cool "greasy mechanic" look D). Pull the Harley forward so the rear tyre sits on the oil stain and attempt a burnout
4. The most important piece of gear to a Harley rider is: A). Half-helmet B). Goggles C). Leather Pants D). Wallet Chain E) Break-Down Kit
5. You see a row of Harley-Davidsons lined up at a roadside drinking establishment. You choose to: A). Stop and make some new friends B). Park for a moment, hammer down some shots of whiskey, and wobble home C). Attempt a wheelie D) Beat the crap out of some sucker for insulting HOG
6. A valve head has broken off and effectively seized up the engine. After removing the head and thoroughly inspecting the situation, you: A). Head to an authorized H-D dealer and order genuine Harley replacement parts B). Decide to chrome plate the valve stems and springs C). Conclude that more end play in the cams could have prevented this tragedy D). Try starting the motor so that the neighbours know you're working on your bike
7. A Japanese-made sport-bike pulls up in the lane next to you at a stoplight. You: A). Nod diplomatically at your fellow motorcyclist, in spite of his patriotic failure in his duty to buy American. B). Grab a handful of throttle and race the engine, hoping to engage him in an exhaust volume contest C). Curse the f*cking rice burner and throw your cigar at him. D. Keep pushing when the lights change colour
8. The guy down the block has a Sportster 1100 that is faster at the strip than your souped-up Fat Boy. You feel a need to level the playing field where the power to weight ratio is concerned. You decide to: A). Install NOS B). Remove the exhaust pipes and run straight headers, since more decibels equals more power C). Go on a diet D). Inform your 270 pound passenger she is no longer allowed to accompany you on the bike during runs at the drag-strip
9. Cruising along at full throttle, you are casually overtaken and passed by a Scooterist. You: A). Stop at a payphone and dial 911 to notify the authorities of a reckless driver B). Attempt to pass the scooter by imitating his hunched over riding style, reducing aerodynamic drag and gaining another 5 mph top end speed C). Curse the little sh*t and choke on your cigar in the process D. Shoot him
10. The preferred method of cleaning a Harley-Davidson is: A). S-100 motorcycle wash or equivalent B). Simonize C). Gunk engine degreaser D). Mother nature
***BONUS QUESTION*** 11. You need new tires for your Harley. You decide to go with: A). Dunlop Qualifiers B). Mickey Thompson Super Off-Roaders C). Cheng Shins D). anything chrome-plated
Thanks, Don. And great story! I'm pretty busy at work these days, and the computer at home died, so I can only drop in occasionally.
I kinda missed the lounge, so I decided to do something about it rather than just sit and stew over its absence.
BTW, wish me luck: I have 4 dogs and a cat to take to the vet today for their annual shots/examination. THe cat is easy, once I get her into the travel case, and Zippy ( the peke/pom ) is quite cooperative. Even if he wasn't. big deal, he weighs only 20 lbs. Castor( 85lbs blue merle border collie ) is also good that way.
The problem lies with Pollux (120+lbs blue merle border collie) as he is afraid of glass doors, and Buttercup (130lbs Rottweiler) who dislikes the vet's office for any reason.
It's going to be an interesting morning, to say the least. I hope to be back by noon, as the appointment(s) start at 10:20.
Wish me luck?
Sheesh! Good luck is right, you're going to need it!
Thanks! Here ya go. This was posted on JustAmy's thread this morning!:
THE CLINTONS AND BASEBALL
During the previous administration Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees Game; sitting in the first row, with the Secret Service people directly behind them.
One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and says something to Bill. First Clinton stares at the guy, looks at Hillary,looks back at the agent, and shakes his head violently.
The agent then said, "Mr. President, it was an unanimous request from the owner of the team down to the bat boy."
What really gets Bill going is when the agent tells him the fans would love it!
So Bill just shrugs his shoulders and says, "If that is what the people want."
Then Bill gets up, grabs Hillary by her collar and the seat of her pants, and drops her right over the wall into the field.
She gets up kicking, swearing, screaming, and the crowd goes wild. They're cheering, applauding, and high-fiving.
Bill is bowing and smiling, and leans over to the agent and says, "You were right, I would have never believed that!"
Then noticing the agent has gone totally pale, he asks what is wrong.
The agent replies, "Sir, I said, they want you to throw out the FIRST PITCH!"
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