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Posted on 07/23/2004 5:08:48 AM PDT by JustAmy
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It's like playing detective. The Task Master is a good place to find them.
Afternoon!
Been wandering and typo'ing my way around the forum.
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline..." - If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly
- If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
- If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
- If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
- If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
- If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
- If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
- If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
- If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
- If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
- If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
- If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
- If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you."
- If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.
- If you are a blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Did you know that ice cream cones were first served at the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis? So was iced tea. :-)
Darksheare, you are so cute! Sometimes I don't quite understand where you're coming from, or where you're going to..........but you're unique sense of humor always comes through. LOL
If it helps, I'm often not quite sure myself.
But the trip there at least is entertaining!
/ joke.
If you've seen my typing, you've seen my famous typos, liek 'teh!' and 'ot!'..
..which has been occurring alot today..
The Crystals - Da Doo Run Run
The Commodores - Easy
Essex - Easier Said Than Done
Fats Domino - When The Saint's Go Marching In
The Four Seasons - Big Girls Don't Cry
Nat King Cole Trio - Route 66
Happy Friday!
Music clicks!
For the best listening pleasure, use Windows Media Player.
I've been hungry for ice cream since I read OESY's list of what we should be celebrating. :)
I ate some vanilla ice cream before I came into work. :)
Sounds great ... I may go eat some before dinner. :)
I just got this in an email. I hope it's not too long
...........
The average age of the military man is 19 years. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country. He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's; but he has never collected unemployment either.
He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student, pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to
be waiting when he returns from half a world away. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and 155mm howizzitor. He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk.
He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark. He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must. He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional. He can march until he is told to stop or stop until he is told to march.
He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity. He is self-sufficient. He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry. He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts. If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low.
He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands. He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job. He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay and still find ironic humor in it all. He has seen more suffering and death then he should have in his short lifetime.
He has stood atop mountains of dead bodies, and helped to create them. He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and is unashamed. He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to 'square-away' those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking. In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, he defends their right to be disrespectful.
Just as did his Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, he is paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, he is not a boy. He is the American Fighting Man that has kept this country free for over 200 years.
He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding. Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood. And now we even have woman over there in danger, doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so. As you go to bed tonight, remember this shot.. A short lull, a little shade and a picture of loved ones in their helmets.......
Prayer wheel for our military... please don't break it. Please send this on after a short prayer.
Prayer Wheel
"Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen."
That picture is adorable. He sure is enjoying Ice Cream Cone Day!!
Are you leaving for the coast tonight or tomorrow morning?
Thanks for the article, Tulip!!!
Please see post #92.
Prayer Wheel
"Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen."
Good evening, Mojo. Hope you have had a great Friday.
Thank you for bringing the wonderful music to the Place.
We enjoy music in the evenings but have been lax in getting it here lately.
Thanks again.
We're leaving early in the morning. Going over to Ventura to see brother_bear. :-)
Happy weekend to you!
Hi Victoria! How are you doing?
Amen. Thanks for posting this email, Tulip.
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