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Posted on 01/28/2026 1:00:17 PM PST by DFG
TOPEKA, KS — A kindly hospital clerk asked local man Jonathan Arnold to please fill out the brief 50-page intake form, promising they would then get right to addressing the axe embedded in his skull.
The clerk then asked for Arnold's insurance information, stating it would only take 20 minutes to run his benefits so that a doctor could take a look at the hunk of metal in his cranium.
"Just hold really, really still so the axe doesn't move while you finish these forms," said the clerk, Sharon Maxwell. "Oh, and don't forget the pages are all front and back. Please make sure to fill out the family history form about whether anyone of your third degree relatives have had any medical problems, such as gout or Lyme disease, and when they were diagnosed. Try not to get too much blood on my clipboard, okay?"
According to witnesses, Arnold dutifully began signing the forms, but began to struggle due to there being an axe touching his brain. "I'm so sorry, this axe in my parietal lobe is really making it tough," said Arnold. "Yes, I'm sure it's relevant that I had tubes in my ears when I was seven years old, but I'm getting a teens bit woozy from the high-carbon steel lodged in my noggin."
At publishing time, the doctor had delayed coming to check on the axe in Arnold's head as Arnold had failed to sign the form stating whether he thought he might be pregnant.
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Click here: to donate by Credit Card Or here: to donate by PayPal Or by mail to: Free Republic, LLC - PO Box 9771 - Fresno, CA 93794 Thank you very much and God bless you. |
Now that’s a splitting headache.
Form 4473, Non-Binary, let me check.
14. Sex 15. Birth Date Month Day Year
Male
Female
Non-Binary
Kind of like that internet video: “It’s Not About The Nail.”
I actually started to believe it with the crap I’ve put up with at doctor offices.
Don’t forget the part of the questionnaire disclosing whether you own a gun and information about your sexual history.
Nothing like splitting hairs.
Please describe how a Fender Stratocaster(*) came to be embedded in your skull.(**)
(*) If it is a Fender Telecaster, skip to the next page.
(**) If you are a roadie, please pay for services in cash before they are rendered.
Heh, even though a joke, if true, the walk-around is to declare oneself an illegal immigrant and demand instant and free care. The sad things is that we all know that it’s twue, it’s twue.
That’s just about it, isn’t it????
All he has to say is “No entiendo inglés” and they’ll get him right in.
LOL! The trick would be to identify as an illegal. Then no problem.
I real story from my past:
“Why sir do you keep hopping around the emergency room?”
“Because I accidentally nailed my shoe to my foot”
“Oops, would you like a wheelchair?”
“That would be very nice thank you!”
All worked out fine and no serious damage was done.
I still laugh about it from time to time.
Well ???
Was he pregnant ???
:)
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