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Governor Whitmer Refuses To Throw Ring Of Power Back Into Fires Of Mount Doom
The Babylon Bee ^
| October 3, 2020
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 10/09/2020 8:57:32 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
MOUNT DOOM—Governor Gretchen Whitmer is refusing to throw the Ring of Power back into Mount Doom, despite the Michigan Supreme Court ordering her to return it into the fires whence it came.
"Throw it into the fire! Destroy it!" shouted a judge sitting on the court, after leading Whitmer to the Cracks of Doom. "We can end this all right now!"
"Nooo! Not my precious!" Whitmer screamed as the state Supreme Court handed down the order to destroy the Ring. "Nasty, nasty Constitution! We don't likes it! Nasty, fat Founding Fathers!" She turned and left.
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Health/Medicine; Humor; Local News; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; california; courtorder; gavinnewsom; golem; gollum; governatrix; gretchenwhitmer; lansing; lordoftherings; michigan; middleearth; mordor; mountdoom; oneringtorulethemall; ringofpower; sacramento; satire; supremecourt; theprecious; wretchedgretchen
Can definitely see her chowing down on raw fish . . .
2
posted on
10/09/2020 8:58:38 PM PDT
by
Olog-hai
("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
To: 100American; al baby; Allegra; BufordP; dp0622; EveningStar; Gefn; GunsareOK; JRios1968; ...
Where in the world is Bilbo when you need him?
DANG!
3
posted on
10/09/2020 8:59:00 PM PDT
by
Tolerance Sucks Rocks
(The Constitution guarantees the States protection against insurrection. Act now, Mr. President!)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Made me laugh and upset the cat resting on my stomach.
4
posted on
10/09/2020 9:03:07 PM PDT
by
moovova
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
5
posted on
10/09/2020 9:07:47 PM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire. Or both.)
To: BenLurkin
Yes, if “Caitlyn” Jenner were running against Whitmer, I would pick Jenner. Vive la diference!
6
posted on
10/09/2020 9:14:15 PM PDT
by
Tolerance Sucks Rocks
(The Constitution guarantees the States protection against insurrection. Act now, Mr. President!)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
7
posted on
10/09/2020 9:16:55 PM PDT
by
FLT-bird
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Does this mean Mt. Doom is in Michigan? It would certainly be useful, if it could be rigged to warm the state in the winter.
9
posted on
10/09/2020 9:23:28 PM PDT
by
Berosus
(I wish I had as much faith in God as liberals have in government.)
To: Berosus
One does not simply hook up the fires of evil to your oil furnace. Plus the giant eye thing is kinda creepy.
10
posted on
10/09/2020 9:35:21 PM PDT
by
Still Thinking
(Freedom is NOT a loophole!)
To: Still Thinking
Not many oil furnaces in MI.
Point taken though....
11
posted on
10/09/2020 9:44:20 PM PDT
by
Paladin2
To: Berosus
It’s in Hell township.
CC
12
posted on
10/09/2020 9:46:56 PM PDT
by
Celtic Conservative
(My cats are more amusing than 200 channels worth of TV.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks; hellinahandcart
13
posted on
10/09/2020 10:21:53 PM PDT
by
sauropod
(Let them eat kale. I will not comply.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Since when did the Babylon Bee start reporting the truth?
14
posted on
10/09/2020 11:06:50 PM PDT
by
metmom
(...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith.....)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
This could have gone on for 400 pages... Oh wait...
15
posted on
10/09/2020 11:37:08 PM PDT
by
Bullish
(CNN is what happens when 8th graders run a cable network.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Psycho Governor.
16
posted on
10/09/2020 11:38:06 PM PDT
by
McGruff
(Polls are for dancing)
To: Paladin2
My grandparents had one decades ago in farm country rural Michigan. I suspect that market is all propane now.
17
posted on
10/10/2020 1:02:01 AM PDT
by
FreedomPoster
(Islam delenda est)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
She "bravely" came out as a "rape victim" during a speech a few years ago. The media hailed her as a heroine. Of course, her "brave" claim (with fake tears) was wrapped in a speech supporting the "Right To Choose."
Monsters like her will answer to Almighty God someday for their murder of the innocent.
She is a proven liar - - I don't believe a single word that comes out of her psychotic face.
18
posted on
10/10/2020 4:09:06 AM PDT
by
SkyPilot
("I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6)
To: moovova
Rats are much nicer than Democrats. My kids had several.
19
posted on
10/10/2020 4:52:28 AM PDT
by
polymuser
(A socialist is a communist without the power to take everything from their citizens...yet.)
To: SkyPilot
Remember who Satan first played into his hands. They’re still easy for him to play.
20
posted on
10/10/2020 4:55:33 AM PDT
by
polymuser
(A socialist is a communist without the power to take everything from their citizens...yet.)
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