Halal or Not? Eating Your Wife if You Are Hungry...

CairoScene ^ | 4/9/15

[Eleutheria5]

We apologise for this aneurysm inducing news, but seriously a Mufti in Saudi Arabia has just declared that a Muslim can cannibalise his wife. You heard correctly: Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah, a man of religious power in Saudi Arabia, believes it is halal to eat your wife.

Clarifying his stance, Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah explains that literally eating your wife is permitted only if you're extremely hungry. Translating what appeared on multiple Arab websites (here, here, here, here and here):

“A fatwa attributed to the Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah, which allows a man to eat his wife or parts of her body if the husband was afflicted with a severe hunger raised concern and debate over social media since yesterday evening. The Fatwa is interpreted as evidence of the sacrifice of women and obedience to her husband and her desire for the two to become one.”

At a time where the world is looking for moderate Islam to emerge to challenge the barbaric and extremist beliefs and practices of organisations like ISIS, comes a Mufti from Saudi who thinks declaring your wife a snack as being helpful.

We sincerely hope this old, incompetent cannibal is reprimanded for his words....

[Eleutheria5]

Since Al Azhar has already declared it permissible to have sex with one's wife for several minutes after she dies, one must wonder if it's permissible to simultaneously both have sex and eat one's wife if the microwave is big enough.

Also, if she died in Jihad, will she be gang-raped by 72 computer nerds in the afterlife, even though she just made a home-cooked meal for hubby?

The possibilities are endless, and we await clarification from the scholars at Al Azhar.

[Dr. Bogus Pachysandra]

Oh shoot! I’m divorced! No sex, no food! Dang!

[Eleutheria5]

But if you are Muslim, you can always compensate in both departments with a roasted, spitted lamb.

[Hawthorn]

Just be sure not to use lard or any other pork-derived items during the cooking process.

And I think we can assume that marinating in wine would likewise be haram.

[umgud]

Tell me again, just what is the draw to islam for women?

[Attention Surplus Disorder]

LOL, excellent! By the way, my understanding is that you cannot command your dead wife to make and bring you a ham sandwich. But I will have to wait the Q&A session for confirmation.

[Eleutheria5]

If you invite company over, will you have to insist she wear a burkha, or will a chadour suffice? Will they be restricted to the more modest portions, such as hands and feet, forcing you to gorge on the rest yourself? Or can the children also have some?

[SunkenCiv]

Grand Mufti Denies Fake Fatwa

[Viking2002]

Sorry, I couldn't past the title without my mind going full teenager.......

[Eleutheria5]

Some women like to have their rug eaten, but this is ridiculous.

[rlmorel]

LOL me too!

[JoeProBono]

[tflabo]

Clam with sauce.

[semaj]

My wife is so beautiful, I’m hungry all the time.

[logic101.net]

Under Islam women are no different than cattle. Oh, wait; now that I think about it I don't think it is allowed to burn your cow alive if it embarrasses you, so maybe cattle are a bit higher than women.

[PLMerite]

[wardaddy]

Wives love to be eaten

Don’t have to be Anasazi to know that...

[piasa]

Saw this days ago...if this is the same cleric, he says his sit was hacked.

[Fast Moving Angel]

Get your mind out of the gutter ... there’s no room in it for yours along with mine (and the rest of you dirty-minded FReepers ... LOL)!

[Talisker]

“A fatwa attributed to the Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah, which allows a man to eat his wife or parts of her body if the husband was afflicted with a severe hunger raised concern and debate over social media since yesterday evening. The Fatwa is interpreted as evidence of the sacrifice of women and obedience to her husband and her desire for the two to become one.”

Islam is not a 1st Amendment religion.