Your story is heartbreaking. Prayers up for all of you.
If only the liberals who endorse and promote drug use could see the harm done personally to our youth, maybe they would take a step back.
Sorry for your troubles. Just wondering, does she also smoke cigarettes? I’ve known quite a few people with addiction problems, both drugs and alcohol, including some near and dear to me who died young as a result. Every single one I’ve ever known really started out smoking cigarettes, and never quit. IMHO if there is a such a thing as a gateway drug to addiction that’s it.
I also agree with what someone said above, there are small percentage of people who are just much more susceptible to becoming addicted to anything than others. Unfortunately your daughter sounds like one of those. I hope she turns it around.
First and foremost you must accept the fact that you cannot help her. She is the only person that can help herself, it is not about getting help it is about her and only her making a decision to live or die. Either one gets to a point in ones life that one reaches an epiphany or one lives a short miserable life, and nobody outside that person can make a difference, or make the decision to stop doing drugs. I apologize if this sounds cold hearted but it is the truth.
“conserving freedom”, You need to get involved in this thread. Here is some more of those innocent victims which you claim don’t exist.
It did not start because your daughter started smokoing weed. It started because she has an addictive personality. Lots of people try weed and even the harder drugs your daughter has and can turn it off. It sounds like your daughter is not one that can or will on her own.
Your choices are to get her into professional rehab if she will or to sit back and do nothing while the drugs ruin her life. You are not in control of the situation. You can only try and hope or give up. Either option is reasonable. Most dont get to the give up part until they are exhausted at having tried everything.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I would strongly recommend that you *NOT* throw her out before doing a few things such as:
- consulting with an attorney
- reporting to the police that she threatened you and her mother
- changing the locks
If there’s a way to do it, have a restraining order served *after* changing the locks.
You need to protect yourself from a young woman who used to be your daughter.
Dad is complaining that his daughter smoked weed at 12 and is now nuts.
Well what did he expect?
That's why the legal drinking age is 21.
Jeeze, lets outlaw guns because that 3 year old shot her mom too
Prayers up for you and your family.
Whatever you decide to do about this situation, never stop praying for your daughter.
Tossing her out on the street, that will sure minimize the chances she ends up dead or in jail, eh? Does she have a job? If not she'll probably start hooking, you don't want that.
Get the book by Dr. James Dobson, “Tough Love”....
It will help you see the need for some “tough love AND it will give you ideas on implementing it and will maybe give you some hope.
Also, go ahead and lower your expectations of her. Assume worst case scenario every step of the way (don’t say it, just THINK it.) If you have low expectations, then you can’t be disappointed. That will help your own sanity and stress level.
I am praying for your entire family. This is not a light decision you have to make and the consequences could be fatal.
A family friend of ours had been in and out of rehab for the better part of a decade living with his parents the last 2 years. They finally had had enough and kicked him out for good. He was found dead 2 days later in the street.
Your daughter is in a very serious predicament. Her very soul is in the claws of evil. I’m praying that you make the best decision possible and that she finally sees the light and makes necessary changes to her life.
God Bless You & Your Family!
My condolences. I also have a loved one enslaved to mj, and like all those dependent on it, does not see any problem. The people around them see and feel the effects, particularly when they come down.
Good call on your part on the eviction. Make clear if she ever decides to grow up, become an adult and be a part of the family vice a curse to it tell her you’ll welcome her back.. but only on those terms.
Your responsibility is to teach right & wrong, the right morals and ethics and to lay the foundation to make it in life and tell them you love them. Their job is to learn but it’s their choice not yours.
Eventually most will come around but if they don’t and you did the above, you’re not at fault.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. You are really stuck between a rock and a hard place. You are not the first parent who had to cut loose a drug addict wreaking havoc in your family’s life and home.
I prayed for you all and will again tonight.
I will pray for you, your wife and daughter. I really don’t have much to offer on the way of advice, rfreedom4u. Your situation must be unbearable and my prayers will ask Our Lord to give you wisdom and insight. (((Hugs)))
How she got to where she is now is of no importance it’s what happens from here. There are ways to still help and I sent you a PM with a good place to start. You are not alone in this fight!
Prayers for your family during these difficult trials, try to remember that this battle is not against flesh and blood but powers and principalities.
Many here are praying for your victory against the foe.
When I was a youngster, I had a cousin whom everyone dearly loved. Though raised in a large upper middle class family, she went down the drug road, being sent to the county slammer numerous times during her lifetime, apparently for petty theft and prostitution.
Her parents repeatedly tried to help her, and all she did was steal from them and break their hearts. Her brother and sisters all tried to help her, and all she did was steal from them and break their hearts. Eventually, they all were forced into total estrangement to protect themselves and decided to think of her as literally dead. The court took her children from her and awarded them to her ex-husband.
Now, she has Hep C, is disabled, lives off of welfare and gets “free” everything from the government, including “free” medical care. Her siblings, who work and are not well off, are infuriated that they are paying taxes for all of her “free” stuff.
Her siblings all turned out to be wonderful people. She and they were all raised in the same household in the same way by their two parents, two wonderful people. She was beloved by everyone because she had a great personality and a great sense of humor until she turned to drugs. It wasn’t anything her parents or siblings did to cause this. She did it to herself.
I loved her greatly myself then and still miss who she was even today, but I cut her out of my life in order to protect myself once she turned into a drug addict.
A tragic and true story, and unfortunately, it sounds that there may be a similar outcome in your situation. Should that be the case, prepare to have your hearts broken or harden yourselves against your daughter, and cut her out of your life to save yourselves; you probably can not save her.
People do drugs cause it numbs the inner pain in their lives.
Anger is also a way people deal with pain.
She needs to get some good Christian counseling and find out what the issues are that are hurting her and deal with them. When the root issues are dealt with, the need for the drugs will subside, although if she’s actually addicted to stuff, that’s going to be hard to overcome.
She absolutely is on a course that’s going to destroy her life and needs help.
You all need some serious prayer.
My youngest son is the most honest about matters like this, with us, since he has seen what it can do to destroy a person, a family, a marriage.
Most of his friends got into drugs at a very young age, and were in and out of jail, way before they were 30 years old. He used to smoke pot in college and flunked out, because pot makes you want to just sit around and smoke pot and eat munchies. He turned his life around and no longer smokes, drinks, cusses, lies, speeds, etc. He is a much more adultlike person than I am! LOL
He works with a group that feeds the homeless in his town, and has been on mission trips, two to Haiti. He went to Miss. and La. after Katrina to help with the clean up. He went to Mexico to help poor people build homes. He went to Arrowhead Ca after fires to help with clean up. He has seen the best and worst of people.
He saw what drugs, alcohol, even pot, did to his friends. Most of them would never touch another drop of wine, even Communion Wine! It was hard for most of them to find a job with arrests and imprisonment on their records.
One of them just got his wife back, she had left him years ago. They are only in their 20s and last month they celebrated one year back together. He never gave up on her.
They are all active in their church. Except for one, who fell back and used drugs and alcohol, beat up his lady, and went back to jail for a year. I haven’t heard how he is doing.
These young men learned at the School of Hard Knocks.
One of our neighbors, CG, 23 years old, was driving drunk and or stoned and had a one car wreck, and he died. Another one was driving under the influence of Xanax and ran into a parked car and the daughter was killed and the son was badly injured. Our neighbor JT was sent to prison for 20 years because he plead guilty. He has been in prison since 2010, an only child, this has been horrible for his mom and dad.
Drugs kill.