Prayers good you and your family.
my sister started on cannabis and got more and more into drugs. So much so she lost her kids, ended up in prison etc
She was smoking the drug while pregnant and even after she had the kids who were inhaling the crap and now which affects the kids.
I know another guy who smoked it and got to the point he could not be bothered with going to work, thus he lost his job.
CO has seen record amount of kids being admitted to the E.R. because they saw cookies in the kitchen and ate them not knowing there were drugs, and also waiting for a bus and having to sit next to a junkie smoking his crap while getting others high should be a big no no either , but what do they care as long as they get their highs and use medical crap as an excuse.
Condolences.
However, I know lots of people who’ve smoked weed and are very successful. Everything is relative.
If I was you, I would change the locks. Tough love I guess. Too bad if she screams out front. Call the cops.
Your daughter is an adult. It sounds like you have bent over backwards...and now your wife’s health is in danger.
Time for very “tough love”. Straighten up, respect the parents or “out of the house” immediately. She is 19 - she is considered to be an adult.
My sympathies to you and your wife.
I pray for your family, but I’d be more concerned about the meth, cocaine, pills and LSD and a few others you can’t name along with a personality that incubates addiction than the marijuana. I am not advocating legalization, but your blame is misplaced. Both sides of the debate love misinformation.
You know what, I doubt it was the MJ. Genetically some people are just self abusive. It can be drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex and even food. It also does not mean she wasn’t raised improperly either. Don’t blame yourself and yes she does need help, but, she has to want it or nothing will help her get better. Sometimes tough love works and sometimes they wind up dead. Just let her know you are always there to help her beat this addiction when SHE wants it. I raised three kids myself, I know all about it.
Hard truth - her life patterns are set, unless she herself decides to change them.
Maybe prison isn't the worst alternative. A neice of mine started down this same road, ended up in jail for over a year. I guess she was scared straight, she's still out and productive 2 yrs. later.
YMMV
I truly believe that weed is a gateway drug
You also mentioned her alcohol use; all the same correlations that support a pot "gateway" also support an alcohol "gateway" (ditto for tobacco).
and should never be legalized.
Its criminalization didn't keep it out of your daughter's hands. In fact, since well before any state had legalized pot, teens have reported that they could get it more easily than beer or cigarettes ... which is to be expected since legal sellers card and illegal sellers don't.
I worked with a guy who blew a casino sign company to smithereens because he sat up in the loft all day smoking dope. Yes, it is a devil and I have no doubt legalization will do our country harm.
About the only thing you can do is lay out the life path that dopers inevitably take and where it ends. Then let your daughter decide. It is an impossible situation.
rfreedom4u - I hope the best for you in this very difficult situation. Hopefully your daughter and your wife get what they need.
My impression is that the drugs are the manifestation of your daughter's problem. Some type of counseling might be in order to discover the root of what she is trying to escape in all of that awful stuff. I don't know what goes on in rehab, and whether that delves deep enough into psychological matters.
“Since then she has gone on the try many other drugs to include meth, cocaine, pills and LSD “
Those are all illegal so don’t blame pot for it. She has a self abusing personality and would have tried those no matter if she had tried pot first.
I don’t necessarily believe in gateway drugs so much as I believe in gateway personalities.
I say this as a former drug addict, and the reason that I say it is that I have known many people who use drugs. Many of them kept themselves relatively under control and just stuck with weed, never really went any further.
Yet some do go further. I was one, and I knew others that went much further than me.
It really seemed that the key to what determined this was what was the root cause of addiction? How great was the problem that they were running from, real or perceived, by doping themselves up on a regular basis like this?
Some of the things that I have learned from my battle with addiction are these.
For whatever reason, some people are born into this world where it seems like their main purpose in life is to battle the demon of addiction, and it really is a demon, and those persons are the only ones who can defeat that demon individually.
They may have many others around them who love them endlessly and want to do nothing other than help them, but in the end it is only that person who can pick up their own sword and kill it. No one else can. God can help in this battle, but even then only so much. He can give them His strength if they ask, but then they have to actually use it.
The reason that only that person can defeat his demon is because that person is the only one who is with himself 24/ 7. No one else can do that duty. Much as their loved ones would like to try, they can’t. There will always one day be that moment of temptation, and the addict is the only one who can turn and walk away at that time.
It took me a long time in my life to learn that the things I did that made me cool when I was young, those things that made me fit in with others who did the same things are the things that also made me into an outcast as an adult.
Because as we age, the troubles of youth seem to settle and people move on and become responsible adults with jobs and families, and if you are still messing around being a drug addict, you will never have those things, and you will be on the outside of everyone else who does, and that hurts.
At the age of 19, she may be too young to learn these things yet. She may go on like this for sometime, and basically her loved ones can only hope and pray that she discovers the truth before she ends up hurting herself either legally or otherwise.
Recently, I have been watching an interesting program on Investigation Discovery called Breaking Point, which is about professional interventions.
That is a very moving program to me, because as a former addict, I see how the behavior of addiction just destroys those who love you. This is at times extremely sad to watch, but as I think back to the times of my addiction, I know that I was completely unable to perceive or even care how it affected anyone, including me.
It is also interesting to note that in some cases even when provided professional rehab and care and lawyers to deal with any criminal record, the addict can still not grab the hand that is reaching to help pull them from the water. They simply do not want to and remain oblivious to the damage they are doing.
I am very sad to hear of your troubles with your daughter. I will pray for you both, and if I may give one piece of advice. Tell her that only she and God can beat her demon, and the way to ask for God’s help is to pray to Him and ask Him for His help.
I am not even joking about that at all. On her darkest day, she will see His light, and He will lead her back to the path and out of the woods.
I apologize for the length of my post, I’ll stop it now.
Sounds as if your daughters issues are less about marijuana, or any particular drug really, and more about an addictive and compulsive personality disorder.
You mentioned that your wife has issues as well. Could be the same kind of thing.
It sounds like you’re doing everything in your power.
Hang in as best you can.
My deepest prayers for your situation. Some people react to drugs differently than others. Your daughter is an addict and apparently cannot cope. Sometimes there is nothing you can do but take your best guess. You are absolutely correct in that the most likely outcomes are jail or dead. A friend of mine enabled his son’s additions by allowing him to stick around and he turned up dead. I cannot tell you what to do - only that your situation is dire and something needs to be done soon. Pray, and take your best guess. Your daughter’s fate will be determined by her, not you. Don’t give her a dime of money, give her all of your love.
all drugs are bad, but you will be hearing all sorts of lame excuses for pot on this forum
As a public school teacher I see this all the time: One of the greatest reasons why it happens is because the weed lobby is not honest about the effects of weed on people.
1. It makes you lazy.
2. It makes you stupid.
3. It’s essentially a waste of time during your youth, when you should be spending it creating a foundation for later.
4. It DOES lead to other drugs.
5. It’s ILLEGAL (in most states)
It’s very sad because most kids think that weed is a panacea, when it’s as dangerous as other drugs - it soaks into the fatty tissue in your brain for a month.
Drug and Alcohol addiction doesn’t happen in a vacuum. If she smoked pot at 12, then she was heading into troubled waters from the git. Maybe you were in a bad neighborhood, not wealthy enough to take care of the problem right away ... as in boarding school or Junior Military Academy. Maybe you were too rich and became an enabler — spoiled her with endless supply of money for drugs. Maybe perhaps your family wasn’t functioning properly?
Pot is not a gateway drug just like guns don’t make people go on killing rampages.
For people near or over 50, Pot is a very good drug given the right strain. It keeps me alive and enjoying life where I otherwise would have hard times due in large part to health maladies. One of the primary reasons I like Marijuana is it keeps me off the psychotropics. Everybody I know over 50 is on psychotropics — prozac, zoloft, celexia — Just what the Government wants. Zombie people not causing political problems as we’re brought to hell in a hand basket.
I pray for your daughter and you and hope the situation self-repairs itself in full and for a happy ending.