Posted on 04/19/2006 1:31:18 PM PDT by defenderSD
This Duke Lacrosse team story reminds me of the joke about the immortal porpoises. Here's the joke:
At an acquatic park in Florida there were four immortal porpoises who had lived so long that nobody knew how old they were and they were considered to be immortal. A flock of sea gulls lived at the park and the beauty of the sea gulls inspired the porpoises and the porpoise handlers believed that this inspiration gave the porpoises the will to live forever, as long as the sea gulls remained at the park.
One day a bird flu struck the park and all the sea gulls succumbed to this flu. The porpoise handlers noticed that the porpoises became listless when the gulls were lost, and they became concerned that the porpoises would not live much longer in this world. So they set out lots of sea gull food to lure new gulls into the park.
Unfortunately, a group of stately lions lived on the perimeter of the park and scared off any new sea gulls who were flying towards the park.
So the porpoise handlers went out and trapped some sea gulls near the beach, loaded them in their truck, and brought them back past the stately lions into the park in a last, desperate attempt to save the immortal porpoises.
But as the lead handler got out of his truck, the local sheriff stopped him and said, "Son, you're in a heap of trouble now. I'm placing you under arrest."
"What's the charge?", the lead handler asked.
The sheriff replied...."the charge is transportin' gulls across stately lions for immortal porpoises."
--shorter but more current than "catching the boy-foot bear with teak of Chan"--
Yikes! You should be indicted.
You should be shot for posting that.
I'll send you the name and number for my joke writer. I suggest you fire yours.
lol...a judge in Orange County, CA told us that joke many years ago when we were kids on a trip to his family's cabin in the mountains. It's not really a joke, it's a play on words.
Where do zoo animals go to school?
At the hippo-campus.
Where does cantaloupe spend the summer?
At the John Cougar Melon Camp.
I have much better jokes than that, but they're usually "off color" jokes that aren't really appropriate for a family website like FR. Here's another G-rated one-liner for you: "The B1 bomber was desinged to fly at tree-top level. Unfortunately trees are at tree-top level."
You know, now that I think about it...I was shot once in a paintball game for telling that joke...seriesly.
The second one is good...that's a good G-rated joke for kids.
That's the beer that made Milfamie walk us
Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that ate your new shoes ?
LOL...hey I link your tag line too.
"Pardon me Boyce, was that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"...
You Got there first!
I didn't see yours ;)
It's also almost time to get a new one...
Have you seen the new movie about Dan Quayle's Vietnam war experience? It's called "Full Dinner Jacket."
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey". Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
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As an Irish-American, I resemble that joke...lol.
A lady returns home from shopping and finds her two young sons sitting on the couch watching TV. The neighbor's cat is sitting on her desk next to her computer screen. On her computer screen there are results from a web search using the keywords "Chinese restaurants", including a listing for Chu's restaurant featuring their delicious Chicken Chow Mein dish. The lady looks at the cat, then looks at her young sons and says, "pardon me boys, it that the cat who Googled Chu's chow mein?"
"Pardon me boys, is that the cat who Googled "new shoes."
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