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Iranian Regime Calls White House To Ask If They Can Have Biden Back
The Bee ^ | Mar 5, 2026 | The Bee

Posted on 03/06/2026 10:15:22 AM PST by dayglored

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Faced with the threat of their total annihilation, the Islamic Republic of Iran reportedly contacted the White House on Thursday to ask if they could "please have Joe Biden back."

White House officials confirmed that Mojtaba Khamenei, the new Supreme Leader of Iran, dialed the White House switchboard demanding to speak to whoever was in charge of picking the president so he could see about getting Joe Biden back in the Oval Office.

"He is, uh, a great leader. We will listen to him," Khamenei reportedly said of the former president. "You put him back in charge, and we promise to end our nuclear program. For real, this time."

According to sources, Khamenei spent several hours on hold waiting to talk to the president before he was finally laughed off the line by Vice President JD Vance. "Is this Tucker? Hilarious impersonation, man, but I told you to stop calling here," Vance reportedly said.

Iranian officials also contacted members of the American press, sources confirmed, presumably because they couldn't get a hold of Trump to ask him to please step down and appoint Biden as his successor. CNN was reportedly receptive to the new supreme leader's call and put him on air with Anderson Cooper.

"Hi, thanks for taking my call, Anderson. Long time fan," Khamenei said while on air. "As I was saying, we just really want to get Joe Biden back. Can you make that happen? He was a great Iranian hero."

At publishing time, unable to get Joe Biden back, Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei was forced to admit he exhausted the remaining breadth of his military strategy.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: ayatollahcornpop; babylonbee; biden; bidencrimefamily; foreigners4bidenbux; foreignerslovejoe; iran; satire; tootrue

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Ain't it the truth....
1 posted on 03/06/2026 10:15:22 AM PST by dayglored
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To: dayglored

Ha haaaaaas! Classic!


2 posted on 03/06/2026 10:18:08 AM PST by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all. )
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To: dayglored

They really need Obama & ValJar


3 posted on 03/06/2026 10:19:36 AM PST by goodnesswins (Make educ institutions return to the Mission...reading, writing, math...not Opinions & propaganda)
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To: dayglored

Sure, they can have him.......but it’s a NO RETURN policy.....you bought it, you own it.


4 posted on 03/06/2026 10:23:07 AM PST by V_TWIN (America....so great even the people that hate it won't leave)
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To: goodnesswins
> They really need Obama & ValJar

... which is basically what Biden's term was anyway...

5 posted on 03/06/2026 10:23:33 AM PST by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

Droolin’ Joe has a good case but I have to think Obie has a better argument. Pallets of cash, baby.


6 posted on 03/06/2026 10:28:05 AM PST by Billthedrill
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To: V_TWIN

I would ask for obama, he did more for Iran than Biden


7 posted on 03/06/2026 10:29:55 AM PST by factmart ( )
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To: dayglored

“…With the Obama and Jarret application patches, too, please. Thank you. …Needs the Harris module to operate??? Wha’…? You are…”keeling me Smallz..!”


8 posted on 03/06/2026 10:30:14 AM PST by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: dayglored

No marxist media updates re: PedoJoe’s “alleged” cancer diagnosis.

No doubt as real as his top assistant, Otto Penn.


9 posted on 03/06/2026 10:33:13 AM PST by newfreep ("There is no race problem...just a problem race")
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To: dayglored

And his Muslim puppet master Obama????


10 posted on 03/06/2026 10:43:53 AM PST by high info voter (Delivery )
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To: dayglored
...if they could "please have Joe Biden back."

No, they cannot have Joe back. To even stir in Joe's direction, may well be termed "elder abuse", and that is just...wrong.

11 posted on 03/06/2026 10:56:47 AM PST by alloysteel (Coming in high, hot, blind, dead-stick, wheels up, outta gas, and the glide angle of a brick....)
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To: dayglored

12 posted on 03/06/2026 10:59:50 AM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: dayglored
...the Islamic Republic of Iran reportedly contacted the White House on Thursday to ask if they could "please have Joe Biden back."

Make
America
Corrupt
Again

13 posted on 03/06/2026 11:03:54 AM PST by Who is John Galt? ("...mit Pulver und Blei, Die Gedanken sind frei!")
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To: dayglored

Ha! That is just great.


14 posted on 03/06/2026 11:05:01 AM PST by sima_yi ( Reporting live from the far North)
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To: dayglored

Good one! You can’t have him back in office but you can have him.


15 posted on 03/06/2026 11:11:38 AM PST by econjack
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To: dayglored

I figured they would want Obama back, since Obama gave them plane loads of cash!


16 posted on 03/06/2026 12:21:10 PM PST by TexasFreeper2009
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To: dayglored; Texas Eagle; goodnesswins; Billthedrill; factmart; high info voter; sima_yi; ...

This article is probably in response to Trump saying a deal with Iran must be preceded by unconditional surrender. This reminds me of the quote I found in the copy of Mao Tse-tung’s little red book I picked up in Hong Kong saying, “It can therefore be said that politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed”. In saying that Mao compressed into a sound bite an entire chapter of Sun Tzu’s Art of War, where he declared war and politics resided on a continuum and were not a dichotomy. Evidently, we have entered a diplomatic approach revered in Asia and seldom discussed in any of our western universities. It looks like we have accepted the declaration of war tendered to us repeatedly since 1979.


17 posted on 03/06/2026 3:49:12 PM PST by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: Retain Mike

Great quotes. I’ll have to remember them.


18 posted on 03/06/2026 5:18:38 PM PST by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all. )
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To: dayglored

...good joke, if it were real I’d tell them, Biden and as a bonus Obama


19 posted on 03/06/2026 5:48:08 PM PST by californian by choice (Who are those who believe in science?)
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