Posted on 04/28/2025 9:01:30 AM PDT by Red Badger
Carroll Shelby is gone – thank God. He is thus spared the indignity of knowing his name has been affixed to a device that’s neither a Shelby nor a Mustang. It is a device that pretends to be both. More finely, a device that trades on both those names in what is arguably the most embarrassing-ever attempt to do just that.
ELVIS impersonator VIDEO AT LINK.................
Let’s begin by talking about the device in question. It is not a bad device – as devices go. But it is as much a “Mustang” as an Elvis impersonator is Elvis. It’s worse, actually, because at least most Elvis impersonators try their best to look like Elvis and sing like he did, too.
The Ford Mach-E looks nothing like any Mustang ever made because no Mustang was ever made with four doors – and without an engine. The Mach-E is a five door crossover with electric motors. It does not sound like a Mustang, either – because it can’t. See that part about not having an engine.
MAT DAMON as Carroll Shelby Video at link...........
Enter the fakest and gayest part.
Hertz thought it’d trade on Carroll Shelby’s name by affixing it to 100 Mach-E devices painted black with gold accents, like the “rent a racer” GT350H Mustangs Hertz famously offered as rentals back in the mid-late 1960s, when Shelby – who was a very famous race car driver – was working closely with Ford on projects such as kicking Ferrari’s ass at the 24 Hours of LeMans road race. You may have seen the recent – and excellent – movie about it, starring Matt Damon as Shelby.
The real – not fake or gay – 19665-1966 Shelby GT350s that were in the Hertz rental fleet had hotted-up 289 V8s that made 306 advertised (probably more)horsepower and sounded something like this:
Loud Shelby GT350 Throws Down VIDEO AT LINK..............
The device that trades on Shelby’s name – and which isn’t a Mustang – let alone a Shelby Mustang – tries to sound like that. As in literally tries to sound like that. By playing a recording that sounds like that:
2023 Shelby GT-H Mach-E Start Up VIDEO AT LINK............
It breaks your heart, doesn’t it?
No doubt it would have broken Shelby’s – were he around to see (and hear) what Hertz has done. Because he was real and this is fake and very gay. It is also a kind of confession about the inadequacy of these devices. If batteries and motors are so hot – so superior – then why resort to playing the soundtrack of an engine that’s not there? It is akin to a stuffed lion “roaring” – and at least the stuffed lion was once actually a lion, before it got stuffed.
What is this thing? And why can’t it trade on its own merits – if it has them? The question answers itself.
It’s not just Hertz that’s making this confession, either. The mass-produced Mach-E (as opposed to this limited-run iteration) also plays the sounds of what it hasn’t got, piped into the passenger cabin via the audio system. Just not as over-the-top fake and gay as the sounds replayed inside the passenger of the “Shelby” GT-H device concocted by Hertz. But it amounts to the same embarrassing and depressing thing.
It makes one think of the fake plastic fruit used to dress up a dinner table at the furniture store – and even in that case, the plastic fruit is at least made to look like real fruit and no one is encouraged to taste it. Piping fake engine sounds into the passenger compartment of a vehicle specifically marketed as superior because it lacks an engine is bizarre, cognitively dissonant. Playing them – loudly – outside the device to show off what you haven’t got is just weird and sad. Like a woman strutting around ostentatiously wearing a gigantic codpiece.
The “Shelby” device is not the only such device, either.
Dodge – the people in charge of desecrating the brand, that is – thought they could replace the engine in the Charger with the “Fratzonic” sounds of one. The prototype of this device was ostentatiously “revved” when it was introduced to the automotive press.
FAKE CHARGER VIDEO AT LINK................
It hasn’t gone over well with people who like engines and the sounds they make. Probably for the same reason finding out your blind date’s a he rather than a she (assuming you are a he and not into him).
So it’s more than just a confessional – and embarrassing and sad. It is also arguably the greatest extant example of Marketing Fail ever. Know your market used to be the baseline tenet taught to people who wanted to sell things to people. In order to do that successfully, you don’t try taking away what the people you’re trying to sell to want – and try selling them something fake and gay instead. That being the very definition of fake and gay in that what you’re trying to see is inauthentic and it’s gay – Southpark usage – to push inauthentic stuff on people.
SOUTH PARK BIKER VUYS VIDEO AT LINK...............
That’s why it’s instinctive and natural to laugh at the GT-H “Mustang” and the device they’re calling a “Charger.”
Because they’re fake and gay.
The crappiest Mustangs were around 1979, when the Capri was basically the same model.
I think they are putting in fake exhaust sounds so that pedestrians (especially blind ones, or distracted or young people, or animals) can hear the car approaching. Otherwise ev’s are pretty quiet.
It looks like a cop car.
‘74 Mustang II. Might as well drive a VW bug with flower decals.
Hey! I owned a 79 Capri!
It was my graduation present.
I lucked out. Bought a 2009 Chevy cobalt. 338 k miles later, it still runs, though held together by magic head gasket repair liquids and “stop smoke” oil additives. Loses about 1 quart of oil every 1,000 miles. Still can “pull” in 5th gear. Paid for in 2014.... Not a bad deal.
My rules: buy the basic version of a decent car model that was introduced 2-4 years before you buy the car.... Rarely take engine over 3,000 rpms. Change oil, other fluids as prescribed. Change spark plugs every 60k-70k miles. Don’t buy bells and whistles you will rarely use.
P.S. last 3 cars I have had, exceeded 250,000 miles. One was stolen at 250,000 miles...I am sure the cars would have lasted longer, had I been more attentive.
FYI
Like all EVs, the market shows demand for the units with the extended range batteries.
The backlog is largely those with standard range. IMHO.
P.S. my brother owns a Mach E GT. Fastest car I’ve ever driven, including three different race cars .(Blueflag moniker comes from racing history)
Knock it if you want to, but get back to me after you’ve driven it in sport mode.
When like Ford, you stand for nothing, you present little of value
If (execs aren’t that smart) they thought of a performance e-car it’d be optimized for torque and not try and also be “green” and also long range.
Single lap at Sebring or Nurburgring would be the goal. E-cars react instantly and go off the line as if powered by Hodgdon, not electricity.
Instead design by committee generates soccer mom style with sports car badges.
That oversized electric golf cart fanboi will love it to go along with his goofy Hot Wheels thing.
Coulda been a nice “Torino GT”
Mustang has made some really bad models , the 71-73 fastback was awful and I won’t even mention The Mustang II.
The 1980 Mustang was a real dog. Don’t ask me how I know.
*** They need to add a fake exhaust smell too.***
No they need to make that real. For anyone retarded or gay enough to buy one of these fake monstrosities.
And btw, I realize they are not “old school” old school, but I own a 2005 Mustang and 2015 Dodge Charger RT with the HEMI and this kind of crap is why I refuse to get rid of either of them.
Is it four door? Kinda looks like it to me.
I actually own of those in that exact color scheme... 1978 Mustang King Cobra... anemic 302 2V with a 4-speed and T-Tops.
$224,995 For that Shelby. Ouch.
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