Posted on 01/16/2024 8:54:41 AM PST by Twotone
With the Iowa Republican Caucus in full swing, it's time for us to confront our deepest, darkest fear: Donald Trump may actually get re-elected in November. As painful as it may be to face that fact, this reality means there are things liberals may need to think about buying up and hoarding.
The Babylon Bee is here to help with the following helpful list of things you should stockpile in case Trump takes the White House and kills democracy AGAIN:
1. "Gun-Free Zone" signs: To scare off the roving gangs of MAGA voters.
2. Bricks: For throwing through the windows of a local small business. For democracy.
3. Books that say "gay": You need to build up a stash before Trump burns them all.
4. Freeze-dried mail-in ballots: You'll need them to take back our democracy in 2028.
5. Every episode of Brian Stelter's Reliable Sources on DVD: There's no way those will be available for purchase in Trump's fascist America.
6. Masks & COVID tests: To provide you with peace of mind while in your bunker.
7. Emergency puberty blockers: In case you or a loved one ever need to trans a kid.
8. Kleenex: To use as you mourn the loss of our precious democracy. And while watching your Brian Stelter DVDs.
9. Pictures of Trump: To stare at hatefully every day.
Go! Get out there, hit every store you can find, and get all of this stuff while you still can!
I have nine. What’s your point? :-)
Brilliant!
I’m thinking of disguising myself as a liberal and attending a democrat election night party to watch the years in first person.
10) A lifetime subscription to Netflix so you can dream about what your Fascist diversity imposed utopia is supposed to look like.
Old school dishwashers which use only a cup of water in its 24 hour wash cycle. Trump will mandate that every home owns a Dish Annihilator which can wash a full lasagna from its pan in under ten seconds and libs will want to be smug to n their environmental awareness.
Stupid Cat Videos are my Favorite!
Of course I’d never Own one.
And diapers.
A book/instructions on how to correctly commit Seppuku should be on the list, too.
Johnny died one night,
Died in his bed.
Bottle of whiskey,
Sleeping tablets by his head.
-- Shooting Star (Bad Company)
One can dream...
It would take them forever to connect with the one shriveled up neuron containing the last idea they had which died of loneliness…
My story for cat haters from a friend who was a long-range recon guy in VN, retired from the Army & decided he loved animals & wanted to be a vet. Ultimately, didn’t complete vet school, as taking care of hurt animals was too emotionally exhausting for him. He became a policeman, then a juvenile court judge & for many years ran a shooting course in OR.
Anyway, one of his classes was psychology. One day the professor came in & spoke directly to the ladies in class:
“Ladies, if your boyfriend doesn’t like animals, DUMP him. If he likes dogs, he’s probably okay. But if he likes cats, STALK him!”
Cat-loving guys rock! I was lucky to have one for 25 years.
Take those together before bedtime and you’ll sleep like a baby.
Or this?
Ha !
.
Perfect...
Dogs are To Much Work
But Cats will ignore You Till
It’s feeding Time then POP the can
And Stand Back !
A Cat that Lives 25 yrs????
đź‘Ś
A friend had a cat that lived 26 years. We had one that made it to 21. I have one that I think is around 20 now. But my cat guy died a couple of years ago. We were together for 25 years. He made it to 78.
Why stop at Xanax, go for the big guy, fentanyl.
So Sorry....
You Had some Highs and beer the Lows.
Beet not Beer ....
.
Hope you understand
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.