Posted on 02/17/2022 9:34:59 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
FRANKLIN, MN—Amid growing frustration with lights being left on around the house, local father James Darabont sat his kids down to demonstrate how to flip a light switch to the "Off" position. The two-hour lecture and workshop went over when to turn a light switch off (always) and how to manipulate your fingers to accomplish such a task.
"When you commit to a flipping action," said Mr. Darabont, "you must make sure the light switch goes alllll the way down. If you do not commit fully to the action, the switch may not fully click in the 'down' position. This will raise Daddy's power bill immensely!"
Richard and Annabelle Darabont, ages 7 and 12 respectively, reportedly got the message after five minutes but had to sit through a further 115 minutes and take a final exam.
According to sources, both children failed.
"Kids, if you don't turn the lights off then how will you learn to take care of yourselves?" the disappointed father said. "Leaving the lights on when no one is in the room is exactly the same as stealing."
James Darabont eventually had to cut his lesson short so his wife could begin a 3-day lecture on how to clean up after yourself.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
I taxed them 5 cents per tooth fairy visit payment to make up for the extra e costs.
Following was another three-hour lecture on how to turn off three-way switches.
I had to give a similar lecture on how to refill ice cube trays. I feel for that dad.
Wish I had thought of that.
Best I did was demand a stick of gum for ‘Daddy Tax’ for every gum pack they opened.
Wow, you didn’t even have a bat to guide you. That’s rough.
My wife is just the opposite. She refuses to turn a light on and stumbles around in the dark trying to do things. Drives me nuts.
Just a little stealing.
If you really want to rake in the dough charge them for every empty ink pen and double that for the lost ones.
I’m thinking about replacing switches with timers.
They have switches with motion sensors. Though with LED lights I don’t know that they would ever pay for themselves.
My mom HATED when we turned the overhead lights on. It had to be the lamps only. I always feel the need to turn the ceiling lights off in a short time but it’s because I’m short and can’t reach the bulbs when they go out. (I’m scared of tall ladders living alone).
Which is exactly where we are headed when the Dems are finished with us.
I haven’t seen that yet. My first thought was motion sensors and didn’t think I could combine with timers. Thanks.
Where I work the offices all have motion sensor switches that automatically turn the lights off if they don’t detect motion for 10 minutes. Pretty slick.
We Weren’t allowed luxuries like bats.
“We don’t work for the Electric Company!”
My father-in-law many years ago.
Some people are probably more sensitive to the mood and atmosphere created by different kinds of lighting. They may find overhead lights too bright and harsh. My brother can’t stand bare bulbs on chandeliers or pendant lights. He always wants shades or something opaque to cover them.
I can't either. We have an old house with the typical one large ceiling light and I can't stand it. Any light with a bright bare bulb causes me to get a migraine.
My nickname for my daughter was “Light of the World”. Everywhere she went she turned them on, but never off.
I thought this was from the Sacramento Bee, but it was from the Babylon Bee! 🤓
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