Posted on 02/17/2022 9:34:59 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
FRANKLIN, MN—Amid growing frustration with lights being left on around the house, local father James Darabont sat his kids down to demonstrate how to flip a light switch to the "Off" position. The two-hour lecture and workshop went over when to turn a light switch off (always) and how to manipulate your fingers to accomplish such a task.
"When you commit to a flipping action," said Mr. Darabont, "you must make sure the light switch goes alllll the way down. If you do not commit fully to the action, the switch may not fully click in the 'down' position. This will raise Daddy's power bill immensely!"
Richard and Annabelle Darabont, ages 7 and 12 respectively, reportedly got the message after five minutes but had to sit through a further 115 minutes and take a final exam.
According to sources, both children failed.
"Kids, if you don't turn the lights off then how will you learn to take care of yourselves?" the disappointed father said. "Leaving the lights on when no one is in the room is exactly the same as stealing."
James Darabont eventually had to cut his lesson short so his wife could begin a 3-day lecture on how to clean up after yourself.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
This was my dad. LED lightening kept me from following in his footsteps.
“Closet 60w led light bulb draws 4 watts so at 8.2 cents / kwh equals IT’S NOT WORTH GETTING AN ULCER OVER IT BEING LEFT ON”.
My Dad posted a poem on the light switch when I was growing up:
“Nothing can brighten up a home,
half a much as children will.
I realize it more & more,
With every month’s electric bill.”
Funny thing how I can remember that!
I had to show the grandkids where the key was kept to unlock the toilet paper dispenser roller so as a fresh roll could be installed.
“...sit through a further 115 minutes and take a final exam. According to sources, both children failed.”
Nice touch from the Bee
That’s clever. Gave me a chuckle.
Got me.
But it’s like stealing!!
You’re letting your kids steal from you!
This will end bigly. badly.
My parents said the same thing for years when i left the lights on- “Do you own stock in Con Edison??”
Does he produce a whole curriculum I might be able to purchase online?
Sounds like my father. He used to time our hot showers when we were kids. If he felt we were in there too long, he’d shut the water supply off.
Lol. When I come home after dark my wife will have every light in the freaking house on and she’ll be sitting at her computer downstairs with half of the lights down there on too. I’ve slowly replaced all the old bulbs with LEDs so I don’t sweat it so much. Nothing will ever change her so I just live with it.
They have lights? They are lucky. Growing up we lived in Darkness, learning to navigate the house with a series of clicks and extra sensory perception.
Exactly, buy some LED’s and just leave them on.
More and more the BB is less of a parody site and more a reality report!
At least with LEDs we can let it go now...
If he really wants to save electric money, tell the kids to shower at school. Electric water heaters draw more than the whole house of efficient lights.
No mention of the kids having to wear masks. The Bee is slipping
might better explain the intricacies of using the toilet seat...
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