Conservatives Sit Down For A Relaxing Evening Of Being Insulted By Every Major Corporation In America

Babylon Bee ^ | 02/07/2021 | Babylon Bee

[tbw2]

All around the country, conservatives have invited friends and family over to enjoy food, funny commercials, football, and being insulted by every major corporation in America.

"I love football," said local Christian conservative Brad Longaberger, "but I also love the humbling experience of sitting through hours of sermons from powerful corporations reminding me how rotten and terrible I am for not supporting progressive causes!"

[Sans-Culotte]

Unfortunately, I started watching the Puppy Bowl until they spent a ton of time on that retarded man who lives in our White House and his pathetic wife blabbing about their dogs. I shut it off immediately.

I'd heard it was going to be a Biden love-fest, and I didn't like the idea of Martha Stewart and Snoop Dog as hosts; so the wife and I only watched the Kitten Bowl on Hallmark.

[Walrus]

Amen, laweeks, amen

[Walrus]

The mixed-race couples in the commercials are gorgeous people. The only mixed-race couples I’ve ever seen in real life have been skinny, ugly men and short, fat blonds.

Whatever happened to “truth in advertising “?

[.30Carbine]

Why insult 50% of your customers?

Who needs retail sales when you've got Covid Cash?!

[BrandtMichaels]

Best commercial during the Super bowl last night - google Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene and adoption option.

Or just join in the discussion here...

https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3932727/posts

[Deplorable American1776]

As usual the Babylon Bee got it!!

[Rummyfan]

LOL! I watched maybe ten minutes of the game and missed most of the commercials too. The Birds was on TCM, followed by The Fortune Cookie. And it seemed during the ten minutes I watched there was a penalty on KC every other play.

[Rummyfan]

Jim Nantz telling us that football unifies us. Corporate shill. Barf.

Nantz's toadying to Goodell over what a great job he did etc etc this season was nauseating. Goodell has been a disaster for the NFL. I'm curious what the ratings were compared to past games.

[Rummyfan]

Further, changes need to be made to the game - too many penalties, too many reviews, there is no flow to the games anymore. And of course we had to have the fact of a woman referee thrown in our faces over and over again. It’s 2021 fergawdsake. Can they give it a rest already?

[Rummyfan]

Anybody else notice how every couple in commercials now is a mixed-race couple?

Yes. And also throw in the commercials featuring same sex couples.

[Rummyfan]

Is it a fair commentary on our present situation to suggest that the Babylon Bee now represents the finest investigative reporting on the planet?

As Glenn Reynolds says, The Babylon Bee is the new Newspaper of record.

[heavy metal]

any conservative that watched it asked for it...

no ifs ands or butts...

and now they’re in no position to b*tch about anyone not adhering to principles...

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Only if you allowed it to.

We had people over for a Tim Hawkins marathon.

Lots of laughs and some of the best clam dip I have ever had.

[old-ager]

> self-hate, self-loathing and self-flagellation

No, it’s others-hate, others-loathing, and others-flagellation.

They love themselves. They want YOU to hate yourself.

[bitt]

p

[CJ Wolf]

Might want to rethink your FRname after that jeep commercial. 🤮

[Toespi]

To top it off, Vince Lombardi had to become black. Good thing I wasn’t a family member, they would be sued.

[BobL]

I know people who watched the Super Bowl. Sick people.

[ridesthemiles]

MY boycott list keeps getting longer & longer.

You want t spend good money on ads showing mixed race couples at that level -—you lose me.

I DO NOT believe there are that many such couples & I refuse to be spoon fed that crap.

[Mr. Jeeves]

As marketing strategies go, I think they could do better. Like, maybe, not even bringing up the subject at all.

The cat owners are loudly demanding the anti-dog owner messaging, and in terms of purchasing decisions the dog owners have so far proven largely indifferent. And the corporations have been promised a paradise of guaranteed profits and a seat at the government's table if they go along.