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Senator Hirono Demands ACB Be Weighed Against A Duck To See If She Is A Witch
The Babylon Bee ^ | October 14, 2020 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 10/15/2020 8:12:15 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After two days of Amy Coney Barrett gracefully and stoically answering questions with perfect recall and no notes, suspicions grew on Capitol Hill that she might be a practitioner of the dark arts.

"Oh, she's a witch alright, just look at her!" said Senator Hirono. "Just look at the way she's dressed and how she's so much prettier and smarter than us! She's in league with Beelzebub himself, I just know it! We must burn her!"

Senator Hirono then pulled a live duck out of a massive burlap sack next to her and announced: "In addition to being a Senator, I am also quite wise in the ways of science. Everyone knows witches burn because they are made of wood. I think I read that somewhere. Wood floats, and so do ducks-- so logically, if Amy Coney Barrett weighs as much as this duck I found in the reflection pool outside, she is a witch and must be burned."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Humor; Miscellaneous; Sports; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: acb; duck; hawaii; hearings; maziehirono; montypython; satire; scotus; witch; wood
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I recently read that Hirono is the dumbest senator in the senate. Just because Patty Murray(D WA) Osama bin Laden builds day care centers, isn’t in the news lately, doesn’t mean she has ceded her position.


21 posted on 10/15/2020 8:47:12 PM PDT by Cold Heart (Portland Voted for IT)
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To: Cold Heart
Hirono Is proof that not all pigs are used for luaus
22 posted on 10/15/2020 9:20:07 PM PDT by The MAGA-Deplorian (It is the Trump way! It is the only way!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

We must follow the science.


23 posted on 10/15/2020 9:54:55 PM PDT by ConservativeInPA ("War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength." - George Orwell, 1984)
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To: Texas Eagle

Turning that stupid vile harpy into a newt would be a significant upgrade in intelligence personality and looks.


24 posted on 10/15/2020 10:01:16 PM PDT by from occupied ga (Your government is your most dangerous enemy)
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To: 100American
"...she is hiding something."

Wikipedia claims her father was an alcoholic, and a compulsive gambler. I wondered if he didn't beat or molest her, or both.

25 posted on 10/15/2020 10:17:42 PM PDT by mass55th ("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Good grief!


26 posted on 10/15/2020 10:19:40 PM PDT by Biggirl ("One Lord, one faith, one baptism" - Ephesians 4:5)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Speaking of, the only reason we have that newt Chris Coons in the Senate is because Republicans refused to support Christine O'Donnell in 2010 because she defeated favorite Mike Castle in the primary.

-PJ

27 posted on 10/15/2020 10:27:39 PM PDT by Political Junkie Too (Freedom of the press is the People's right to publish, not CNN's right to the 1st question.)
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To: Texas Eagle

You sure about that.
Maybe she is a newt who is trying to get out.
Hirono is a seriously ugly woman inside and out.


28 posted on 10/15/2020 11:45:11 PM PDT by Zathras
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To: Texas Eagle

I think ACB did turn Hirono into a NEWT, she looks like Gingrich in drag with a dark wig!


29 posted on 10/16/2020 12:29:29 AM PDT by carcraft (Pray for our Country)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

To the BBee. Hironi is a “witch” but it’s spelled with a “B”. She should have starred as the killer in “American Psycho”.

Sniffing too much volcano fumes.

Time to sacrifice her to the volcano gods like in “Beastmaster” (ok it was a large fire pit) and “Joe versus the Volcano”.


30 posted on 10/16/2020 1:09:45 AM PDT by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
During WW II, Hirono would have made a perfect camp guard who enjoyed torturing American servicemen.


31 posted on 10/16/2020 3:06:33 AM PDT by SkyPilot ("I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
LOL.


32 posted on 10/16/2020 3:12:21 AM PDT by Magnum44 (My comprehensive terrorism plan: Hunt them down and kill them.)
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To: Jacob Kell
She’d be better looking, that’s for sure!

My dog's shaved hind end is better looking than crazy Mazie!

33 posted on 10/16/2020 4:47:18 AM PDT by dearolddad
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Babylon reports that they were demonetized by Facebook for this story. FB claims it is an exhortation to violence. I wish I were joking.


34 posted on 10/20/2020 9:06:00 PM PDT by davius (Kapo Schwartz Gyorgy as Ceausescu)
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