Lol.
By the way, I know some women who would LOVE for Garoppolo to flirt with them.
Posted on 02/02/2020 1:16:37 AM PST by Norski
WILLOW FALLS, NY—Pastor Chuck Nielsen of Foundations Church prides himself on his powerful, moving sermons.
But congregants began to grow concerned when Nielsen referenced articles from popular satire site The Babylon Bee in nearly every message.
"At first, we thought he was playing along, but it became increasingly clear that he thought the Bee was real news," said church member Edna Willis.
Nielsen has reportedly cited articles like "Elevation Church Debuts Water Slide Baptismal" and "Joel Osteen Sails Luxury Yacht Through Flooded Houston To Pass Out Copies Of 'Your Best Life Now'" to demonstrate how far the American church has fallen.
Worried church members staged an intervention.
"Pastor Chuck, we need to have a talk," said church secretary Betty Jameson. "We know how much you love The Babylon Bee, but --"
"Oh yes -- most reliable source of news out there!" Pastor Chuck replied enthusiastically. "I reference it for the latest facts about the church, politics, and current events often. I tell you what, I'd be up a creek if I didn't have the reporters at the Bee to keep me informed!"
"Yeah, about that..." she continued awkwardly. "It's... well, it's not real."
"What -- what do you mean?" he replied, confused. "It's fake? It can't be. It's on the internet and everything."
After several hours of explaining to the pastor how The Babylon Bee is satirical, he finally started to move through the stages of grief.
At publishing time, Pastor Chuck had discovered a new source of news to reference, The Onion.
My daughter tells me that it's "creepy" for a young man to show interest in a girl who's flaunting herself in his line of sight.
"Your guitarist winked at me. That's creepy!" "A boy at the party said he knew my brothers. That's creepy!" (Also true: he did know her brothers.)
I told her that she'll make a great crazy cat lady someday.
Expect for Free Republic.
And Jim Robinson.
And REAL Americans who happen to live in California. (I think there are still a few...)
Lol.
By the way, I know some women who would LOVE for Garoppolo to flirt with them.
There are actually millions of them.
Just as we discovered this week there are patriots in every state, and every corner, of this great nation.
Even in New Jersey.
Even in New York (Trump's home state). Even in Massachusetts. Even in Connecticut, and Washington state.
We are all in this together.
Yeah, he’s a cutie pie. He could shake my hand and call me Ma’am any time!
Define Conservative? These are the pro American worker constituency, the HUGE group of voters that have been ignored over the last 30 years by Conservatives and Socialists alike.
And that is good to know. Thank you!
(BTW...that’still a few’ comment was tongue-in-cheek)
Half of what they do seems to be mocking religion and the rest is secular news. This one seems to be self referential and religion rolled into one item.
They mock religion?
Christianity specifically or are they at least spreading the wealth??
It was just my impression that a lot of their items seemed to focus on making fun of church stuff so yes Christianity for the most part. Just my take but go to their website and draw your own conclusions. As always your mileage may vary.
The state of the media is such that we can no longer make fun of Baghdad Bob, The National Enquirer, or the Babylon Bee. Remember when we could?
You boys quit fighting’ and get them dogs out from underneath the porch.
Whoa baby.
Somebody just melted down the space/time coninuum......
A welcome blast from the past!!!
I have been in the witness protection program since learning the awful secrets of nully’s basement “digs”.
I’m selling that house. Wanna buy it?
Wasn’t catpuppy abducted by aliens?
Obviously not my fault, but still?
Worse, Floridians.
Argh!
Get to the decontamination rooms, quick!
Have you been in contact with the arch criminal Florida Man?
And yes, this is a program inspired by Nully of Nevada (new screen name), and run by our effervescent queen of Borax (aka the snakelette) from her torture dungeon.
And of course, it's Darks fault.....
:-)
Speaking of blasts from the past, hi!
Just dropped it so see who was still around. I was a regular on the Freeoples and Dimensial Door threads.
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