Posted on 01/31/2019 8:58:12 AM PST by Red Badger
Danielle Teuscher's 5-year-old daughter Zoe is one of thousands of children conceived with sperm from an anonymous donor. When Teuscher wanted to know more about her daughter's ancestry and possible health issues, she and other family members decided to get DNA tests from 23andMe and added one for Zoe. What turned up appeared to be one of the anonymous donor's immediate relatives. She was shocked.
The donated sperm had come from Northwest Cryobank, which offers donors anonymity, but Teuscher said the apparent relative she found on 23andMe listed themselves as open to messaging.
"I said 'I don't want to cross any boundaries. I just want to let you know that we are out here and we are open to contact if you are,'" Teuscher said.
The relative responded "I don't understand," so Teuscher said she let it go. But then she got a "cease and desist" letter from Northwest Cryobank, telling her not to contact the donor or "learn more information about his identity, background or whereabouts." The sperm bank warned it could "seek $20,000 in liquidated damages." Worst of all she said, it took back "four [4] additional vials of donor's sperm that" she "purchased" – sperm she'd planned to use to have Zoe's genetic siblings.
"Devastating. I mean … I was shocked, I was crying for days, I could barely eat," Teuscher said. "I felt embarrassed almost. Here I thought I was doing this thing I thought was in the best interest of my daughter … And then it just came back on me in just such a harsh way that made me feel like I did something terrible, like I was a criminal."
Northwest Cryobank told CBS News it does not prohibit DNA testing, but said "concern arises when one uses DNA test results to contact a donor and/or his family." The bank said clients like Teuscher have "contractually agreed to not independently seek the identity or attempt to contact these individuals." According to Teuscher, the contract was online.
"I mean, you just click the boxes," Teuscher said. Plus, she said, it's not all about her.
"My daughter is an actual living, breathing, feeling human being who did not sign that contract," Teuscher said.
Contracts or not, many donor-conceived children and their families are finding each other. Wendy Kramer runs the Donor Sibling Registry, a group that connects donor-conceived children and their families. Her own donor-conceived son has found 18 half-siblings, most of them through DNA test matches.
"All of us, thousands of us, have made these connections," Kramer said. "It's a right for everybody to know the truth about their own DNA, their own background, their relatives and their medical histories."
Northwest Cryobank said not all donors will want that opportunity. It said "there is a human being on the other side of the gift who may have a partner, parents, job and children of his own" and uninvited contact "could jeopardize these relationships and families."
But experts say in 2019, that contact may simply be unavoidable. He said despite our best efforts, it's impossible to promise anonymity anymore.
"The problem we have now is that the science has kind of overstepped where we are, in terms of legality," said Dr. Peter McGovern, an infertility specialist.
But Teuscher said with the loss of her vials, the promise of more children could be ended for her.
"They literally took my babies. My future babies," she said.
After we contacted Northwest Cryobank for this story, a representative sent Teuscher an email saying the bank would refund the money she paid for those additional vials of her donor's sperm, but did not offer to give her vials back.
The representative we spoke to at Northwest Cryobank told us that this is the only letter threatening legal action that they've ever sent to a client, to his knowledge.
She also wasn’t the one who violated the contract or took any of the steps to do so.
This creature is actually trying to hide behind her 5 year old!
Is that how they make sperm donations? Icky!
Is there a sign over the box reading "Night Deposits?"
Regards,
Yes.
And, when you were installing that Facebook app...?
She’s trying to whip up a sympathetic lynch mob to try to force the sperm bank to change its policies.
Her vague, emotional plea is nothing but PR. They don’t say what relative she approached, but by calling it a relative, it is clear that it is NOT the donor.
She did DNA testing for her child. That is reasonable and within her rights. What was wrong was contacting the donor’s relative and bringing up the sperm donation. For all we know, she told his mother, his sister, his child that he was a sperm donor ... that person talked to the donor, who then contacted the sperm bank.
I have male relatives I wouldn’t be surprised to find out had illegitimate offspring and found me on a DNA site, but that would literally be between us. However, the donor in this case AND the recipient had an agreement to be anonymous.
You don’t get to violate the contract you signed years later and use the kid as the excuse. That’s why they took back the sperm and threatened to sue for damages. The woman decided to use anonymous sperm, and she’s now trying to use emotional blackmail to say I don’t have to honor the contract after I got what I wanted.
2 words.. ATTENTION WHORE . I feel sorry for the kid and any pets she may have, and her neighbors and co-workers, and the walmart cashier she checks out with and her mailman.
No FB for me..................
I heard she contacted the donor via email or text saying they were open to communication an the person responded with something like WTF?
If she had done the mailman, she wouldn’t have this problem..............
When you do things that are contrary to nature, you should expect strange and unnatural things to happen!!!!!
What the hell do you expect, lady? and you were going have 4 more kids that way?
And it’s not “sperm donor.” It’s guy j*rking off in a jar and making money off of it.
Don’t delude yourself. If you don’t have a husband, adopt.
Play stupid games.
Win stupid prizes.
..................
AND .... “What could go wrong?”
She contacted the relative of the donor, not the donor himself. Apparently the relative was surprised that the donor had done this thing....................
Women like this...I think she’s looking for a way to make the donor financially accountable as the biological father. It’s only about the paycheck.
Maybe Jodie Foster donated the sperm.
or the milkman..now Im dating myself!
Northwest Cryobank told CBS News it does not prohibit DNA testing, but said “concern arises when one uses DNA test results to contact a donor and/or his family.” The bank said clients like Teuscher have “contractually agreed to not independently seek the identity or attempt to contact these individuals.”
...
Case closed.
The child did not exist at consummation of the contract. The contract had nothing to do with the child.
Your argument has no standing.
later post RE FB: rhetorical “you”.
It comes down to the language in her contract regarding attempts to contact or communicate or attempt to communicate with the donor.
Mom signed the contract. It’s on her.
Turns out, maybe conceiving children in a lab and barring them from ever knowing their biological father might be a bad idea...
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