The Pack Knight
Since Jan 28, 2007
The following acts displease me and, when I am Emperor, will be punishable by ten lashes and a day in the stocks:
Use of the following words in their modern, colloquial sense: triggered, problematic, privilege, spaces.
Use of the word “storyline” in any sports broadcast.
Going in public as a male wearing a “man bun.”
Riding a bicycle on a street or highway between the hours of 6am and 8pm.
“Uptalking” by any male.
Capitalization of the word “black” except when it is used as part of a proper noun.
Use of the word “brown” to refer to the race or ethnicity of any person or group of people.
The use of a “hash tag” other than while posting on Twitter.
Posting on Twitter.
Abbreviating the words “are,” “you,” “with,” or “to” in any written communication.
Taking a day off work for your birthday.