Posted on 08/29/2017 9:37:20 AM PDT by fungoking
Edited on 08/29/2017 10:22:52 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
HOUSTON, TX—Although Joel Osteen took flak over the weekend for closing up his church to flood victims and all but disappearing during the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, the megachurch pastor reportedly returned to the city on his luxury yacht “S.S. Blessed” to make amends Tuesday by tossing copies of Your Best Life Now to stranded flood survivors.
Osteen had his on-call yacht captain steer the large vessel through the flooded streets of the city, pulling up to survivors stranded on their roofs and on the roof of their cars as the prosperity gospel preacher smiled, waved, and threw out signed editions of the bestselling positive thinking book.
“Believe and declare you are coming into a shift!” Osteen yelled through a bullhorn, according to reports. “God wants His best for you! Enlarge your vision, develop a healthy self image, and choose to be happy!”
“When you think positive, excellent thoughts, you will be propelled toward greatness!” he called out to one family floating on a raft on a freeway-turned-river, whose earthly possessions had been entirely destroyed the previous day.
Osteen also paused for brief photo ops with several families, the smiling pastor briefly allowing them to board his yacht as his professional photography team got shots of the pastor together with the sobbing, distraught flood victims, though the pastor was careful to not stand too close to the mud-caked refugees.
Sources confirmed that the pastor then had his assistants help the families back into their makeshift lifeboats or tree logs on which they were floating through the city.
The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.
This has to either be satire or truth masquerading as satire...
It’s satire, and I’m increasingly of the mind that satirists like this author should locked in the pillory on the public square and pelted with rocks and garbage.
Clearly satire but some folks will believe it.
It’s satire
The best satire is satire that is very close to being believable. Your post certainly fits that description.
ya think?
“Osteen had his on-call yacht captain steer the large vessel through the flooded streets of the city, pulling up to survivors stranded on their roofs and on the roof of their cars as the prosperity gospel preacher smiled, waved, and threw out signed editions of the bestselling positive thinking book.”
“Old Earth Creation Museum Now Open Six Billion Years A Week”
Love it !
Must be satire
look at the pic. if anybody thinks that any responsible captain would take a ship that size, at that speed, through that area, you don’t know anything about boats
“Lord Jesus Detained At Border While Attempting Second Coming”
This is Pathetic. People in Houston need to tar and feather that guy as soon as the water goes down.
Must be satire
The photo in the article looks totally fake.
Cue Hall & Oates song; “You’re Out Of Touch!”
OMG those fools who support his church.
It’s satire.
I don’t know Joel Osteen or his church. Perhaps he is deserving of this ribbing, I don’t know. In general I find most humor pointed at Christian religion and churches to be in the same taste as leftist “humor” pointed at conservatives/Trump...this is in very poor taste, irreverent, and rarely actually funny.
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