Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Save yourself the expense.
Just poke a hole in the wall and let it fly into the moat...
I like my plumbing better.
I just went to Staples.com and got several office-supply things with free shipping.
Well..
Modern stuff does have its advantages. Especially if you don’t have a moat. ;-)
On another note, Mrs. NoC inquired as to when I was going to shorten the advanced grass substitute. So I checked the weather prognostication. It looks as if I will be forced to ride the Little Red Riding Thing today as they are indicating that tomorrow will be soggy.
There is the posh version of the hole in the wall.....The Garderobe tower.
Not as much fun but more privacy involved.
Thanks! I’ll use that! It’s good to “see” you again! :o]
That comes up as a trivia question fairly frequently, but I always get it right! LOL!
But it could be that the education offered in this school is still better than what passes for education now.. ;-)
Now I need to check the railroad history. That was DRG&W through there.. ;-)
The Inquisitor wasn’t at the table today, so just three of us showed up. And I had to beg off as usual, after about an hour, as I can’t sit on that bench any longer than that.
Chuck is from a town eight miles from my home town, called Spanish Fork (on the way to Thistle!) and he was on the phone when I got there, talking to a friend of his from Payson. It seems his friend’s daughter (50) went missing on Saturday evening, and the car was found in a mining town about 60 miles north of Delta, which is in the western desert.
The conjecture at this point is that her husband killed her because she was going to leave him, and/or because she took $3,000 in cash. At any rate, her car was found, both doors open, her purse and personal belongings on the front seat, and the area has lots of old mine shafts.
Hubby told police after they had searched the car that, “by the way,” he found $3,000 in the glove box. Some things I just don’t want to know about. :o[
They knew how to build schools back then AND to teach students! The school my dad went to is on my home page on FB.
And look what’s growing in front of that school! Thistle!!
Yes, it was, but I think we called it “D&RGW.” But that’s just the locals...
Don't see many of them around these parts. But it does beat carrying a chamberpot down the stairs..
Still have outhouses though. Except we call them PortaPottys® now. ;-)
You are correct. And it wasn’t just the locals, I stuck the ampersand in the wrong place..
By any other name...
Good luck with the growing groundcover. It has been raining all day here. Epic Fail Lawn Service is baking desserts and playing computer games, sigh.
What a sad story.
I had a nice rest with Jake, and now I need to start the chicken casserole. Check your account, I sent you a little something.
That’s probably the rain forecast for tomorrow up here in the northparts..
They say it will clear up here on Sunday.
Rain Tomorrow.....
Raining already here.
That’ll clear out the Moat.....
:)
Errrr, sounds like an excuse to keep well clear to me.
Thanks!
I checked my email for the last time today, and there it was! :o])
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