Posted on 11/20/2008 7:46:23 AM PST by Gopher Broke
Things never said by Southerners
40. Oh, I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of 'Hee Haw' that we haven't aeen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight
Right on. However, I have been known to partake of a Heineken.
; )
I wish this were true, but unfortunately, these days there are plenty of Southern liberals.
I can almost tolerate Yankee liberals; they don’t know no better. But Southern liberals have no excuse!
LOL
9 is definitely rediculous. (But taken in the manner in which it was intended) ;-)
You forgot “Here, DON’T Hold my beer and DON’T watch this.”
LOL, funny stuff.
Cue the FReepers from the South to post about staying red this election in 3...2...1...
;-)
They're out of production.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
?????....
Oh, I could NEVER fly a flag that might OFFEND someone.
I cannot believe you missed this one...
Rednecks last words...”hey ya’ll watch this!”
LOL!!!! God's gift for big mouths.
Hey, I resemble those remarks!!
Here’s one for Louisiana;
“Oh, no, these boiled crawfish are WAY too spicy!!”
Most serious injuries in the South start with this phrase:
“Hey y’all! Watch this!”
At least we have a sense of humor. Southerners fly their Rebel Flags, but let the USA be threatened and they are first in line to fight for her.
It is impossible to cook green beans too long...although they can be tasty at stages along the way....
when obama's brownshirts come a'knockin.. you just might hear this one. Before or after you shoot the SOB??
“Nah, i can’t go fishin’ with ya on Sunday Bubba. I promised Deedee i’d stay in and watch LifeTime movies with her all day. Sorry, can i take a raincheck tho?”
Let’s see, I’m guilty of 36,32,31,30,26,22,19,18,16,15,14,13,10,09,07,04,03, & 01
Guess I’m not a southerner enough.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.