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****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
Posted on 06/20/2008 5:20:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
It's
Being from Arizona, I have to pass these along (they can apply to other "hot" states as well)...It's so hot in Arizona that...
- the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
- the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
- farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
- the cows are giving evaporated milk.
- the trees are whistling for the dogs.
- you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
- you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
- you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
- you can make instant sun tea.
- you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
- the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
- you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
- you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
- you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
- The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
- you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
- you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
- you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
- hot water now comes out of both taps.
- it's noon in June, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
- you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
- no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
- your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
- you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
- a sad Arizonan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."
Thankfully, today is Ice Cream Soda Day!!!
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: hot; ofst; silliness; summer
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To: Lucky9teen
Wierd. I don’t see her rotating. She move left and right and left and right. What does that mean?
141
posted on
06/20/2008 9:52:55 AM PDT
by
CougarGA7
(Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.)
To: CougarGA7
Weird. I dont see her rotating. She move left and right and left and right. What does that mean?Are you lying on your back?
142
posted on
06/20/2008 9:56:17 AM PDT
by
andy58-in-nh
(Peace is Not The Question.)
To: Lucky9teen
Dr Demento got Wierd Al's career off the ground. I love Al's newest one.
White and Nerdy
143
posted on
06/20/2008 9:58:15 AM PDT
by
CougarGA7
(Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.)
To: andy58-in-nh
144
posted on
06/20/2008 10:01:21 AM PDT
by
CougarGA7
(Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.)
To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
145
posted on
06/20/2008 10:02:12 AM PDT
by
envisio
(If you ain't laughin yet... you ain't seen me naked. 8^O)
To: Lucky9teen
146
posted on
06/20/2008 10:04:36 AM PDT
by
Girlene
To: CougarGA7
Hm; family-hater at FR. Odd.
147
posted on
06/20/2008 10:05:25 AM PDT
by
BibChr
("...behold, they have rejected the word of the LORD, so what wisdom is in them?" [Jer. 8:9])
To: andy58-in-nh
Is THAT who that is?
148
posted on
06/20/2008 10:18:17 AM PDT
by
Lady Jag
(Donate to FR anytime at https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate)
To: NavyCanDo
My wife’s first cousin works at ASU. I was talking to her one night and she told me how hot it was down there. I made the mistake of saying, “but it’s a dry heat”, and she replied, “so’s a blowtorch!”
149
posted on
06/20/2008 10:23:10 AM PDT
by
OrioleFan
(Republicans believe every day is July 4th, but DemocRATs believe every day is April 15th. - Reagan)
To: Lady Jag
It looks like Phyllis Diller got herself a new ring.
150
posted on
06/20/2008 10:23:33 AM PDT
by
andy58-in-nh
(Peace is Not The Question.)
To: Lucky9teen
Well cheating in Photoshop-ImageReady looking at static frame 32 you can convince yourself that you are looking at either her face or the back of her head. Depending on which your brain chooses stepping the frame in either direction confirms your illusion.
To: andy58-in-nh; Lady Jag
"It looks like Phyllis Diller got herself a new ring."I thought it was James Carville trying his hand at cross-dressing??
To: Gay State Conservative
153
posted on
06/20/2008 10:34:22 AM PDT
by
NavySon
("No nation ever taxed itself into prosperity." - Rush Limbaugh)
To: Gay State Conservative
It ain’t just AZ and FL, either. Here on the VA coast, we have our share of 98/98 days.
They say it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.
PHOOEY!!!! When it’s 100% humidity and snowing at 32 degrees I ain’t sweating!!!!! IT’S THE HEAT!!!
154
posted on
06/20/2008 10:42:40 AM PDT
by
fredhead
(4-cylinder, air cooled, horizontally opposed......THE REAL VW!!!)
To: andy58-in-nh
You wouldn’t know what Fang looks like, wouldja?
155
posted on
06/20/2008 10:43:55 AM PDT
by
Lady Jag
(Donate to FR anytime at https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate)
To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
Cassettes?? I still have some 45’s!
here’s a song....Junk Food Junkie by Larry Groce
You know I love that organic cooking
I always ask for more
And they call me Mr. Natural
On down to the health food store
I only eat good sea salt
White sugar don’t touch my lips
And my friends is always
Begging me to take them
On macrobiotic trips
Yes, they are
Oh, but at night I stake out my strongbox
That I keep under lock and key
And I take it off to my closet
Where nobody else can see
I open that door so slowly
Take a peek up north and south
Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie
And I pop it in my mouth
Yeah, in the daytime I’m Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I’m a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me
Well, at lunchtime
You can always find me
At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar
Just sucking on my plain white yogurt
From my hand thrown pottery jar
And sippin’ a little hand pressed cider
With a carrot stick for dessert
And wiping my face
In a natural way
On the sleeve of my peasant shirt
Oh yeah
Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight
And I’m all by myself
I work that combination
On my secret hideaway shelf
And I pull out some Fritos corn chips
Dr. Pepper and an Ole Moon Pie
Then I sit back in glorious expectation
Of a genuine junk food high
Oh yeah, in the daytime I’m Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I’m a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me
My friends down at the commune
They think I’m pretty neat
Oh, I don’t know nothing about arts and crafts
But I give ‘em all something to eat
I’m a friend to old Euell Gibbons
And I only eat homegrown spice
I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn
Filled up with my brown rice
Yes, I do
Oh, but folks lately I have been spotted
With a Big Mac on my breath
Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders
With a face as white as death
I’m afraid someday they’ll find me
Just stretched out on my bed
With a handful of Pringles Potato Chips
And a Ding Dong by my head
In the daytime I’m Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I’m a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me
156
posted on
06/20/2008 10:49:50 AM PDT
by
fredhead
(4-cylinder, air cooled, horizontally opposed......THE REAL VW!!!)
To: BibChr
Quite the accusation there Bib. Care to back that up?
157
posted on
06/20/2008 10:54:00 AM PDT
by
CougarGA7
(Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.)
To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
You’re right: it does kinda look like “Captain Cueball” Carville. And he’s been playing around in Mary’s makeup case...
158
posted on
06/20/2008 10:54:57 AM PDT
by
andy58-in-nh
(Peace is Not The Question.)
To: CougarGA7
Just following the thread. You?
159
posted on
06/20/2008 10:58:29 AM PDT
by
BibChr
("...behold, they have rejected the word of the LORD, so what wisdom is in them?" [Jer. 8:9])
To: Lucky9teen
BETTER....
160
posted on
06/20/2008 10:59:42 AM PDT
by
envisio
(If you ain't laughin yet... you ain't seen me naked. 8^O)
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