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****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
Posted on 06/20/2008 5:20:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
It's
Being from Arizona, I have to pass these along (they can apply to other "hot" states as well)...It's so hot in Arizona that...
- the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
- the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
- farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
- the cows are giving evaporated milk.
- the trees are whistling for the dogs.
- you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
- you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
- you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
- you can make instant sun tea.
- you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
- the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
- you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
- you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
- you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
- The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
- you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
- you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
- you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
- hot water now comes out of both taps.
- it's noon in June, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
- you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
- no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
- your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
- you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
- a sad Arizonan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."
Thankfully, today is Ice Cream Soda Day!!!
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: hot; ofst; silliness; summer
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To: Lucky9teen
Nope, I cannot get it to change direction.
To: spotbust1
Ha ha ha, I remember bra size 45.
To: Twinkie
While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while doing this, draw the number “6” in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction and there’s nothing you can do about it!
123
posted on
06/20/2008 8:58:11 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Biting into a McCain burger will be like tasting 2 day old crap, but Obama is pure cyanide koolaid.)
To: Lucky9teen
124
posted on
06/20/2008 8:58:14 AM PDT
by
MilspecRob
(Most people don't act stupid, they really are.)
To: Twinkie
ha ha ha, are you special too?
To: Lucky9teen
After concentrating very hard I got it to turn counter clockwise. Now I can't get it to go back.
Does this mean my personality just flipped?
Is the change permanent?
126
posted on
06/20/2008 8:59:09 AM PDT
by
Pan_Yan
(Will the last conservative in the GOP please shut off the lights?)
To: Lucky9teen
I can see it counterclockwise for short stints if I stare long enough, but it kinda makes me nauseous.
Not as nauseous as the dancing dems, though.
127
posted on
06/20/2008 9:04:52 AM PDT
by
Chanticleer
(I want God, I want Poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness, I want sin.)
To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
I see her going both ways when I look at it long enough.
128
posted on
06/20/2008 9:05:16 AM PDT
by
Twinkie
(TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT !!!)
To: Lucky9teen; potlatch; martin_fierro; devolve; Grampa Dave; jaycee; tomkow6; Slings and Arrows; ...
How do you avoid catching a cold in summer?
Catch it in winter.
129
posted on
06/20/2008 9:06:05 AM PDT
by
Lady Jag
(Donate to FR anytime at https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate)
To: Twinkie
"She's a goer, eh? KnowwhatImean, nudge nudge?"
130
posted on
06/20/2008 9:10:58 AM PDT
by
weegee
(In 1988 Lenora Fulani was the 1st black woman to appear on presidential ballots in all 50 states)
To: weegee
131
posted on
06/20/2008 9:14:58 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Biting into a McCain burger will be like tasting 2 day old crap, but Obama is pure cyanide koolaid.)
To: tomkow6
Have fun in the summertime!
132
posted on
06/20/2008 9:19:08 AM PDT
by
Lady Jag
(Donate to FR anytime at https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate)
To: Lucky9teen
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....I just know she looked cold.
To: Twinkie
Wow, does that mean she is BI?
To: Lucky9teen
Ooooh, what timing. Yesterday neighboring Indio clocked a 119 and Cathedral City posted 122 - it's not 9:30 yet, and my digital thermos read between 103 and 105.
Thankfully it's a few weeks too early to have any humidity factor.
135
posted on
06/20/2008 9:27:57 AM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
To: Lucky9teen
To: BibChr
Lets keep it family-friendlySounds boring.
137
posted on
06/20/2008 9:41:27 AM PDT
by
CougarGA7
(Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.)
To: nuke rocketeer; najida; absolootezer0
Man, it smells in here....
138
posted on
06/20/2008 9:44:33 AM PDT
by
envisio
(If you ain't laughin yet... you ain't seen me naked. 8^O)
To: envisio
To: Lady Jag
So exactly how long has Lord Voldemort been hiding in that watermelon?
140
posted on
06/20/2008 9:45:42 AM PDT
by
andy58-in-nh
(Peace is Not The Question.)
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