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****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
Posted on 06/20/2008 5:20:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
It's
Being from Arizona, I have to pass these along (they can apply to other "hot" states as well)...It's so hot in Arizona that...
- the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
- the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
- farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
- the cows are giving evaporated milk.
- the trees are whistling for the dogs.
- you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
- you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
- you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
- you can make instant sun tea.
- you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
- the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
- you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
- you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
- you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
- The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
- you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
- you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
- you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
- hot water now comes out of both taps.
- it's noon in June, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
- you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
- no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
- your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
- you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
- a sad Arizonan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."
Thankfully, today is Ice Cream Soda Day!!!
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: hot; ofst; silliness; summer
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To: Lucky9teen
I need to go shopping....
61
posted on
06/20/2008 7:28:47 AM PDT
by
The_Victor
(If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
To: Chanticleer; The_Victor; new cruelty; Jersey Republican Biker Chick; Shyla; girlscout; ...
The forecast for the weather in the kitchen is chili today and hot tamale.
62
posted on
06/20/2008 7:28:57 AM PDT
by
nuke rocketeer
(File CONGRESS.SYS corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?)
Pour hot water down a rabbit hole and you get a hot cross bunny.
63
posted on
06/20/2008 7:29:27 AM PDT
by
nuke rocketeer
(File CONGRESS.SYS corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?)
To: nuke rocketeer
Why on earth would I want to do that???? I guess you'd better bring on the cat pics.
64
posted on
06/20/2008 7:29:46 AM PDT
by
Chanticleer
(I want God, I want Poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness, I want sin.)
Sitting in the sun this summer, a lot of folks have become well-red.
65
posted on
06/20/2008 7:30:08 AM PDT
by
nuke rocketeer
(File CONGRESS.SYS corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?)
To: Chanticleer
Nah, not today........ A marathon on a scorching day ended in a dead heat.
66
posted on
06/20/2008 7:31:39 AM PDT
by
nuke rocketeer
(File CONGRESS.SYS corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?)
To: nuke rocketeer
and the puns.
67
posted on
06/20/2008 7:31:43 AM PDT
by
Chanticleer
(I want God, I want Poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness, I want sin.)
To: Lucky9teen
How in God’s name does anybody live in Arizona (or Florida) in the summer? 120 degrees with 0% humidity or 96 degrees with 98% humidity.I could never do it...even with AC.
68
posted on
06/20/2008 7:32:54 AM PDT
by
Gay State Conservative
(Will the dancing Hitlers please wait in the wings? We're only seeing singing Hitlers.)
To: Gay State Conservative
Lived in Tempe, Arizona for four years. Highest I remember was 122. Humidity or no, that's hot.
Spent the rest of my life in Florida. Heat, humidity, bugs, gators, hurricanes -- I don't know how I suffer through it every day. I guess we all do what we gotta do.
69
posted on
06/20/2008 7:38:10 AM PDT
by
Chanticleer
(I want God, I want Poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness, I want sin.)
To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
Remember Dr. Demento? Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak, scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique. He's a one man, no gut, loosing streak. Nothin' but a pencil neck geek.
Great stuff
70
posted on
06/20/2008 7:38:41 AM PDT
by
Gay State Conservative
(Will the dancing Hitlers please wait in the wings? We're only seeing singing Hitlers.)
To: Lucky9teen
Foh sizzle?
http://www.metrolyrics.com/its-so-hot-im-going-to-have-a-heat-stroke-lyrics-five-iron-frenzy.html
Hetsaw! Gibbus!
Getoomababeew, Nama nama nama na me mew
It’s so hot gonna have a heat strokah!
Wrapped up in the mew, huh!
Nemie, nemie, nemie, nemie, nemie, nemie, nemie nahhh!
Gonna get a hot, the heat strokuhhh
Hizzahhh, huh!
Oibuhhh the goo goh, za po nip the mehpee
Yow do nip the pehpee, peepeepeepeeteetahhhhh!
Gimmee nemee nemuh the peepah, gimmee nemee nemuh the peepah
Za pie da ta peepeetepatee, Shampoo in my head!
It’s so hot I’m gonna have a heat strokahhh!
Huhhh, it’s so hot I’m gonna get to the the the
Hahhh, oh dotututututdadahdahdahdahdaht, behhhw
Yebatunenenenenenenedehdehdeeedeee
Hyahh, betaw, sa baw da ba dew
Nimieneemeenimienimieneemeeneemeeneemee
Nimie I got the babethaplathla
Betaw, sa baw da ba dew
Betaw,sabadabadeebeedeebee baw pa ha pa dew
How that’s a goot, hits ligh pie
71
posted on
06/20/2008 7:39:38 AM PDT
by
P.O.E.
(Thank God for every morning.)
To: nuke rocketeer
To: nuke rocketeer
Lt. Steven Hauk: Furthermore, you are to stick to playing normal modes of music, not weird stuff. Those who we'd find acceptable here would include Lawrence Welk, Jim Nabors, Mantovani...
Adrian Cronauer: ...Percy Faith...
Lt. Steven Hauk: Percy Faith... good!... Andy Williams, Perry Como, and certain ballads by Mr. Frank Sinatra.
Adrian Cronauer: Would Bob Dylan be outta line?
73
posted on
06/20/2008 7:42:27 AM PDT
by
Chanticleer
(I want God, I want Poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness, I want sin.)
To: Chanticleer
Highest I remember was 122. Humidity or no, that's hot. Once heard a comedian talking about living in the desert during summer.He said something like "they say it's a *dry* heat....well,my oven's a dry heat too but you don't see me sticking my head into it".
74
posted on
06/20/2008 7:42:57 AM PDT
by
Gay State Conservative
(Will the dancing Hitlers please wait in the wings? We're only seeing singing Hitlers.)
To: Chanticleer
Spent the rest of my life in Florida. Heat, humidity, bugs, gators, hurricanes I can't figure out how anyone settled areas like Florida and Texas prior to the invention of AC and pesticides. Imagine the heat and humidity combined with heavy Victorian clothing that buttoned to the chin, endless swarms of mosquitoes, and infrequent bathing.
75
posted on
06/20/2008 7:43:39 AM PDT
by
The_Victor
(If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
To: Gay State Conservative
I bake in the summer so I don’t have to freeze in the winter...
(South Texas)
76
posted on
06/20/2008 7:43:47 AM PDT
by
LongElegantLegs
(Kill them with kindness, then taser them for fun.)
To: Lucky9teen
Can I have one of each please?
77
posted on
06/20/2008 7:45:29 AM PDT
by
spotbust1
(Procrastinators of the world unite . . . . .tomorrow!!!)
To: Chanticleer
The sidewalk is too hot.
To: Chanticleer
Would Bob Dylan be outta line? Way,way,*way* outta line!
79
posted on
06/20/2008 7:46:59 AM PDT
by
Gay State Conservative
(Will the dancing Hitlers please wait in the wings? We're only seeing singing Hitlers.)
To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
I was telling someone about Dr. Demento the other day. I think the songs I was referring to were “Dead Puppies” and then there was a song about two bald headed men sitting side by side, but I forget the rest of it. I’m sure some helpful FReeper will come up with the rest though.
80
posted on
06/20/2008 7:51:41 AM PDT
by
spotbust1
(Procrastinators of the world unite . . . . .tomorrow!!!)
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