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****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
Posted on 06/20/2008 5:20:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
It's
Being from Arizona, I have to pass these along (they can apply to other "hot" states as well)...It's so hot in Arizona that...
- the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
- the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
- farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
- the cows are giving evaporated milk.
- the trees are whistling for the dogs.
- you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
- you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
- you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
- you can make instant sun tea.
- you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
- the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
- you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
- you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
- you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
- The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
- you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
- you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
- you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
- hot water now comes out of both taps.
- it's noon in June, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
- you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
- no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
- your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
- you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
- a sad Arizonan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."
Thankfully, today is Ice Cream Soda Day!!!
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: hot; ofst; silliness; summer
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To: BibChr
21
posted on
06/20/2008 6:10:16 AM PDT
by
CholeraJoe
(Captured terrorists should have a right to choose. Eat the ham sandwich or a bullet in the head.)
Comment #22 Removed by Moderator
Comment #23 Removed by Moderator
To: Lucky9teen; All
Arizona is so hot that...
1. Lakes have formed throughout the state from all the sweat that is being produced.
2. The sun is hiding behind the clouds just to keep cool.
3. The devil has started outsourcing to Tempe.
4. All the cemetaries have turned into crematoriums.
5. Cigarettes smoke themselves.
6. It’s now possible to skate on the glassy surface of the once sandy desert.
7. Fire burns itself out from sheer embarrassment.
8. Breathing in the hot air too fast will actually lift you into the sky.
9. Restaurants can only serve beef as well-done, very well-done, extremely well-done, and ash.
10. Even Internet spam is stopped at the borders of the state.
24
posted on
06/20/2008 6:22:04 AM PDT
by
new cruelty
(don't believe the hype)
To: Lucky9teen
Oh, Lucky... It’s just a dry heat!
Speaking of Arizona, I’ll be in Phoenix twice this summer.
Early July and Early August. I’m looking to earn the “I survived 120°” T-shirt!
25
posted on
06/20/2008 6:28:15 AM PDT
by
rock_lobsta
(Not Your Ordinary Crustacean.)
To: arbooz
To: Lucky9teen
27
posted on
06/20/2008 6:32:17 AM PDT
by
bmwcyle
(If God wanted us to be Socialist, Karl Marx would have been born in America.)
To: Lucky9teen
To: Coffee200am
Comment #30 Removed by Moderator
To: Lucky9teen
To: DaveLoneRanger
It has been so long since i have heard that song.
Remember Dr. Demento?
Comment #33 Removed by Moderator
To: DaveLoneRanger
Dr. Demento had a radio show where he played all the funny songs like that.
It was really funny.
Comment #35 Removed by Moderator
To: Millee; Tatze; RockinRight; Hoodlum91; new cruelty; absolootezer0; The_Victor; Shyla; ...
OK, I know I have forgotten some....or their new handles....
Refugees, we have an anniversary coming up.....CELEBRATE!!
Comment #37 Removed by Moderator
To: Lucky9teen; RedRover; lilycicero
38
posted on
06/20/2008 6:59:57 AM PDT
by
Girlene
To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
40
posted on
06/20/2008 7:00:53 AM PDT
by
Hoodlum91
(I support global warming.)
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