The ***OFFICIAL*** Weekend Singles' Thread - (April 13th - 15th)

April 13, 2007 | DollyCali

[DollyCali]

How do these words/phrases grab you ? Any first hand experiences to share?

Love (lust?) at first Sight..

Forgiveness..

Lets just be friends..

Soul mates..

Friday the Thirteenth

Hi there Freeper Friends & TGIF! . Little hectic (understatement) on the home front.. I thought originally I would post tonight the thread I had for 4 weeks ago when my computer decided to go on vacation BUT it needed a lot of work & I had a full/crazy day & needed to go to funeral parlor this evening so just thought I would open up the conversation with some phrases that can be good, painful, wonderful or agonizing to singles or married folks as well. ..

All of these have caused some turmoil in my life & I have found that at any age these things can titillate your soul.

[DollyCali]

Housekeeping:

, as Snugs is now pretty tied up & will be for unseen future I am going to temporarily try to get the thread hosts/hostess/posters lined up for the next few months.

If you are getting this you have either posted a thread in past (and know how) and did a good job. Also sending to people who I think will do a good job even if not doing so in past.

Teaming up is okay but do two threads as a team to spread the talent? Not necessarily consecutive.

The couple week “problem” of my Internet loss & the exact same time Snug’s dad medical emergency which is now long term, was problematic as we all know

A big thank you to Kate (Ilovew) for jumping in and posting a thread during the first week of chaos.

This is going to:

Ilovew; wftr; proud Yank; rock in right; hoodlum91; krunkygirl; pcottraux; bannie; rzeznikj at stout; rca2000; nowhereman; kate of spice island; maximus ridiculousness; theresawithanh; darkangel82; snugs; LaineyDee; army air corps; a knight without armor; big sky freeper; dave lone ranger; protest1; radiohead; Scott7278; rosie cotton; TheresaKett; Victoria delsoul;onyx; ; mamabear.

a few are marrieds…they are our friends.

It does NOT have to be fancy or have graphics. If you know how and WANT to do that fine.. and IF YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW TO DO MORE HTML, I WILL HELP YOU

I learned the HTML I know by being a hostess/poster at the Finest Thread. Prior I just knew how to post pix & a few commands of bold, etc. Billie was a great teacher & shared selflessly. I would be honored to pass on the info to others who have an interest

We want to keep the doors open each weekend (and the thread can continue all week but we just ping on Fri/Sat/sun) and that is your primary job as host.. OPEN THE DOORS BY POSTING A THREAD.

Remember we are a thread of friendship. There is no topic or material that should be off limits in my opinion, however we will follow Jim Rob’s thoughts of decency & the guidelines set up by him for FR threads/posting. I often start out a thread by saying “be nice” … and that is a cover all phrase that says a lot. Being considerate, polite & helpful are things that to me are more important here than “winning a point” or showing your superiority. Everyone here is smart. You wouldn’t be at FR if you weren’t.

Well, For a host/hostess here are your duties. Post a thread. Ping the list. Welcome new people. Chat with all visitors when you are here. If you cant be here, let the rest of us know on the thread. I can ping the list. Being a host doesn’t mean you give up your life for the weekend. It means you post a thread & are “in charge” & participate when you are around.

Here is the Nuts & Bolts Thread link w/more info on being a host. (the list, ping urls, directions on how to post a thread, etc.).are all there.

NUTS & BOLTS THREAD

Following is the calendar for you to SEE OPENINGS

Post your thoughts, sign up intentions etc here so we are all in the loop of your thoughts. Snugs and I cannot & will not try to do the thread each week. We both have our hands full on the personal level & I additionally have not posted the April 1 addition of the Cinema thread yet due to many complications. It is my baby at this point along with the Singles thread. Most of you know I am a crazed movie addict.As you can see I already hogged three dates. Oink!

April 20-22 - Earth Day Weekend.

April 27-30.

@.

May 4-6 - Cinco de Mayo Weekend.

May 11-13 – Mother’s Day Weekend - DollyCali .

May 18-21 – Armed Forces Day Weekend.

May 25-28 – Memorial Day Weekend.

@.

June 1-3.

June 8-10.

June 15 -17 – Father’s Day Weekend - DollyCali.

June 22-25 .

@.

July 4 (special holiday thread) – DollCali.

July 6-8.

July 13-15.

July 20-22.

July 27-30.

@.

August 3-5.

August 10-12.

August 17-19.

August 25-28.

August 31- September 3 (Labor Day Weekend)

@.

September 7-9.

September 14-17 (Grandparents Day Weekend)

September 21-23-. (Yom Kipper Weekend)

I may have a LATE ping tonight... but you know the routine, you can chat w/o ping, right? Hugs to all! dolly

[NormsRevenge]

It’s poetic.. (pure impromptu)

Oh wow.

Thanks! :-)

[Nowhere Man]

Hi Dolly. How's Csli doing? Corky is doing OK, it turns out that she does have a little bit of kidney damage so we have to give her IV fluids twice a week to relieve some of the stress on herk idneys as well as to keep those values normal. Her diabeties is under control and the vet felt some sort of masslike thing in her tummy, it could be bad, then again, it isn't bothering her, her tummy was always a little hard. That one, I'm going to leave up to prayer and God as well as a good diet and vitamins, it has not been identified, so who knows, perhaps it is benign. An operation would kill her, the vet said, she will be 18 on May 12th. Still she is doing quite well, putting on weight, eating a lot, grooming herself again, except for her being a little slow when it is cold with arthritis, she's back to herself again.



Corky: b. 5-12-1989 -

[Nowhere Man]

BTw, my vet does recommend Fancy Feast very highly, it is also good for diabetic cats.

[WFTR]

What should I say/do? Right now, I am inclined to lie—I hate to admit that but it will make it easier for me if I just make up something...

Before I could really suggest a course of action, I'd have to know a great deal more about what your thoughts and feelings are. Maybe the open forum isn't the most appropriate place to discuss anyone's specific situation, but I'll throw out a few thoughts that aren't specific to your situation.

You said that you're hesitant and that something isn't quite clicking. Does that mean that you will definitely be closing the door on this relationship or does it mean that you really need more data? If you have an answer to that question, then you are much closer to knowing what you should do. If you are certain that you don't want a romantic relationship, do you see a chance to have a good friendship?

I have a friend in Houston who was originally introduced to me as a potential match. The lady who introduced us had been three for three recently on matching people who eventually married. We went out a few times and spent a great deal of time talking on the phone. I never really had any chemistry for her, but I see her as a very worthwhile person. She sees me as a worthwhile person, may have had some chemistry at first, but by now, I think she sees that we are better as friends than as romantic partners. We've reached a point where we only talk every couple of months, but we have good conversation when we do talk. There is a real friendship there. The chemistry thing will almost certainly never change, but remaining friends means that if the chemistry did change, we could act on that change.

I never had to tell this young lady anything. We kept talking and doing things together, but I never initiated any of the stuff that would indicate a romantic interest. The relationship just didn't go in that direction. We became friends and not "just friends."

Again, I don't know whether any of this story is helpful to your situation. I've been lucky not to run into any ladies who refused to pick up on the details that indicate where things are. If this guy is going to refuse to pick up details, you're in a different boat. I'd advise against lying, but I don't know what your course of action should be.

Bill

[Nowhere Man]

Oh, man! That's really rotten. I know what it is like being down in the dumps.

Since we are spilling our guts here as thr subject of the thread, I remember I had a real tiger by the tail myself in my college days. It started one time where I met this young lady, must have been late 1988 or so. We were talking and we both found out we had the same interests like science fiction (Dr. Who, Star Trek, etc.) and so on. Well we did the lunch thing and so on and for a short while it worked, then summer break came and went and the next semester, I tried to approach her again. Sh got really angry and said, "get away" much like I was stalking her. Well, I didn't want any trouble so I said, "OK, I'm gone," never bothered her again.

Weeks pass, and then one of the college professors wanted to see my after class. I though, OK, so I went into his office and there was the girl. I thought, "what's going on?" She told the story about where she was accusing me of hacking into her account on a local computer Fidonet BBS (this was 1989 by now, before the internet, Fidonet was like an electronic pony express, worldwide) and the BBS had some porn on it. The reason she pointed her finger at me was she saw my name on the caller roster. First off, I said, I only called the BBS once or twice, found out about the nasty stuff and didn't call it again plus I would never do anything illegal like that. Then the bomb was dropped to where some local law enforcement was involved. I then left for my car, dazed and confused. As I was driving, it was like a dream, I sort of blacked out behind the wheel, my mind went "TILT." Although getting religious was years away, I knew there was a God, He was the one driving that I am convinced. I got home in tears, I was still messed up and I remember the cats, first Corky (she was a kitten then), then Pansy and Cricket came over to comfort me.

Everything was cleared up though, basically she was accusing me because she saw my name, that's all, much like accusing a bank customer as being an accomplice to a bank robbery because he was only present to cash a check. There have been no charges filed at all and I actually do wonder if the law enforcment statement where they were involved was a bluff or not. The college administration helped as well a a dear friend who had his own BBS. Still the scars are deep although I'm 99.9% over it right now although it still smarts when I tell the story.

[WFTR]

That's a very ugly story, and it points to another important point. Sometimes, when we don't believe an accuser, the issue isn't that the accuser is lying. The accuser may simply be mistaken or have jumped to a wrong conclusion. Sadly, in the effort to encourage women to come forward when they are really harmed, we've lost the ability to analyze these situation carefully. I'm glad that no further harm came to you.

I was in a somewhat similar situation once. I had been involved with a woman who had lied to me at every step in our relationship. However, I had forgiven some lies and ignored others. As I was telling her that I wanted out of the situation, I was bracing for her to come back with another round of nonsense and either argue things or try to restart things. I actually called the local court system in her town to get a Freedom of Information request to find out whether she'd ever been arrested or convicted of anything. I wrote the letter and was ready to send the request. The engineer in me wanted to collect data in order to draw a conclusion and support that conclusion. Life was busy, and I didn't get around to sending it for about a week or so. During that time, she hadn't tried to call or e-mail. I finally said, "Okay, I think I'm free of this mess. I don't have to go forward." I ended up being right, and I never had to talk to her again.

Bill

[pcottraux]

Do you know who Fred Thompson is?

[rzeznikj at stout]

Well said...

[krunkygirl]

I think that’s a funny tagling...

:)

[rzeznikj at stout]

[pcottraux]

Hillary doesn’t pronounce it P. Coe-troe. She gets it completely wrong.

[krunkygirl]

Bill and stout, thank you both for your thoughts re: my question.

There really is no more to tell about this particular man, Bill. It was a blind date, so, it was our very first meeting.

Unless I choose to, it is unlikely that I will ever run across him again. If I decide not to go out with him, there is no reason to pursue a friendship—I don’t think we made that kind of connection.

Today I thought about what it is that I found off-putting about this man, even though I enjoyed my evening with him.

Likely every woman who reads this will identify with my experience. He was just a little too familiar with me with his eyes. He used his eyes, more than once, like a husband, boyfriend, lover might use his hands (that’s it, Dolly, nothing more explicit—hope I didn’t offend.) That’s pretty clear, isn’t it?

I suppose one such “look” might say to a woman, “I find you very attractive!” But, more than that and most, not all, women would begin to be uncomfortable. He wasn’t lewd; he just crossed an imaginary line that, now, leaves me wondering what would happen on a second or third date. Would I find myself having to fend off this man? From experience, the answer is probably, “yes”.

(I hope the men reading this aren’t rolling their eyes and thinking, “What do women want anyway? Do this and it’s too much; don’t do that and you’re not being clear and straightforward...” aaayyy!)

About telling a little lie, Bill and stout, I believe even the Catholic Church condones “white lies” to deal with touchy social situations... :)

Of course, I could tell a partial truth. Having just been through something very unpleasant, I am not interested in any dating at the moment. It doesn’t address the isssue with him, but there is truth in it!

[krunkygirl]

Wow! We do get ourselve into some unpredictable, very icky/sticky situations.

NWM, I am so glad that crazy scenario resolved with no permanent harm to you. The extreme distress that it cost you was real, though, no doubt.

You, too, Bill...awful when you are looking at a relationship situation and thinking you might have to be prepared for something really ugly.

[krunkygirl]

...geez, I meant *tagline*

[krunkygirl]

Hah! She gets that wrong, too! ;)

[Rca2000]

I am getting to the point that it really doesn't’ matter much anymore. I am one of those who will probably never find a mate. Part of it is my fault, I reckon:: I am so damaged and scared of “repercussions” that I will not really allow myself to “get close” to someone easily, and such. 25 Years of rejection and maltreatment(ESPECIALLY by people who I THOUGHT cared about me or were “Christians”) can do that—I guess.

I have said this MANY times here, and I will say it again:: “I had rather be alone than with a woman who mad e me WISH I WAS ALONE!!”

And-”It is better to suffer in silence alone than to be humiliated in public”.

The “Friendship” I thought I had with that girl seems to have evaporated. It is just as well. Her son was getting in the way of EVERYTHING we wanted to do anyway. Not to mention—I had to make EVERY move, such as planning something for us or calling her. She would NOT call me first—not MATTER WHAT. plus—there did not seem to be anything “There” if you know what I mean(I can’t explain it myself—I just “felt(or DIDN’T feel) it”, if you know what I mean.)

Just as well. My second job is gone now, and spare money is MUCH tighter than it was. Although I MAY be selling a Big screen for 300 or more in a couple of days—so that would help a bit. The ETF convention is in a few weeks, as in a VERY special auction with one of the RAREST radios known to exist, the Crosley WLW model(no-I do NOT intend to bid, I just want the privilege of putting my hands on, and getting pictures of me with a radio that only 2 examples are known to exist!!) And then—in May the Hamfest will be here—and I intend to try and make a bit of money there too.

[Nowhere Man]

That's a very ugly story, and it points to another important point. Sometimes, when we don't believe an accuser, the issue isn't that the accuser is lying. The accuser may simply be mistaken or have jumped to a wrong conclusion. Sadly, in the effort to encourage women to come forward when they are really harmed, we've lost the ability to analyze these situation carefully. I'm glad that no further harm came to you.

I know, Thank God. I put my Apple //e away for the weekend, didn;t touch a computer at all, but my college work required it so I put it back together and only used the modem to call up the college mainframe for my assignments. Yeah, you're right, it was more of a "jump to conclusion thing" than a lying thing but still you can hurt a lot of innocents that way. The scariest was my almost blacking out, (I remember driving but not much) while driving. I had a friend who did the same thing when he was super drunk, it got so bad, he blacked out Wednesday and came out of it Sunday, he just kept driving around for that time, woke up in Ohio.

I'm pretty much over it, but it is a shame that had such a negative experience. Sounds like you had a rough time too.

[Nowhere Man]

Just as well. My second job is gone now, and spare money is MUCH tighter than it was. Although I MAY be selling a Big screen for 300 or more in a couple of days—so that would help a bit. The ETF convention is in a few weeks, as in a VERY special auction with one of the RAREST radios known to exist, the Crosley WLW model(no-I do NOT intend to bid, I just want the privilege of putting my hands on, and getting pictures of me with a radio that only 2 examples are known to exist!!) And then—in May the Hamfest will be here—and I intend to try and make a bit of money there too.

That radio sounds interesting. I'm just here feeding my cats and listneing to WABC 770 on my grandfather's 5 tube 1953 Philco to music. WABC plays music like that used to before they went to talk, they do this every Saturday nite. Ah, listening to the Four Tops. I feel like I am being transported to a more sane era before things really went to Hell. Shame about your second job, I know, it is tough out there. Although I work for Fed Ex Ground in accounting, before that, I used to freelance and do webpages. I've cut back a lot there but I did keep a few clients letting my business run on inertia and one of my clients is going to pick up again, with my kitty medical bills from Greystone, to Boo, to Pansy, to Corky, I need it. B-D

I am getting to the point that it really doesn't’ matter much anymore. I am one of those who will probably never find a mate. Part of it is my fault, I reckon:: I am so damaged and scared of “repercussions” that I will not really allow myself to “get close” to someone easily, and such. 25 Years of rejection and maltreatment(ESPECIALLY by people who I THOUGHT cared about me or were “Christians”) can do that—I guess.

I hear ya, I'm in the same boat.

the only good thing is that if the girl/lady ain't right for you, at least it ended there instead of becoming more committed, otherwise, it would be a real mess of snakes (with apologies to WTFR) and doubly so if marriage is involved.

[bevlar]

Ok guys....dolly just called me and I tried to call her back but my phone can’t talk to hers :-) Her message:
“Bev...go online and ask them to ping” or at least I think that’s what she wants. HELP!!!