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Oh, man! That's really rotten. I know what it is like being down in the dumps.

Since we are spilling our guts here as thr subject of the thread, I remember I had a real tiger by the tail myself in my college days. It started one time where I met this young lady, must have been late 1988 or so. We were talking and we both found out we had the same interests like science fiction (Dr. Who, Star Trek, etc.) and so on. Well we did the lunch thing and so on and for a short while it worked, then summer break came and went and the next semester, I tried to approach her again. Sh got really angry and said, "get away" much like I was stalking her. Well, I didn't want any trouble so I said, "OK, I'm gone," never bothered her again.

Weeks pass, and then one of the college professors wanted to see my after class. I though, OK, so I went into his office and there was the girl. I thought, "what's going on?" She told the story about where she was accusing me of hacking into her account on a local computer Fidonet BBS (this was 1989 by now, before the internet, Fidonet was like an electronic pony express, worldwide) and the BBS had some porn on it. The reason she pointed her finger at me was she saw my name on the caller roster. First off, I said, I only called the BBS once or twice, found out about the nasty stuff and didn't call it again plus I would never do anything illegal like that. Then the bomb was dropped to where some local law enforcement was involved. I then left for my car, dazed and confused. As I was driving, it was like a dream, I sort of blacked out behind the wheel, my mind went "TILT." Although getting religious was years away, I knew there was a God, He was the one driving that I am convinced. I got home in tears, I was still messed up and I remember the cats, first Corky (she was a kitten then), then Pansy and Cricket came over to comfort me.

Everything was cleared up though, basically she was accusing me because she saw my name, that's all, much like accusing a bank customer as being an accomplice to a bank robbery because he was only present to cash a check. There have been no charges filed at all and I actually do wonder if the law enforcment statement where they were involved was a bluff or not. The college administration helped as well a a dear friend who had his own BBS. Still the scars are deep although I'm 99.9% over it right now although it still smarts when I tell the story.

That's a very ugly story, and it points to another important point. Sometimes, when we don't believe an accuser, the issue isn't that the accuser is lying. The accuser may simply be mistaken or have jumped to a wrong conclusion. Sadly, in the effort to encourage women to come forward when they are really harmed, we've lost the ability to analyze these situation carefully. I'm glad that no further harm came to you.

I was in a somewhat similar situation once. I had been involved with a woman who had lied to me at every step in our relationship. However, I had forgiven some lies and ignored others. As I was telling her that I wanted out of the situation, I was bracing for her to come back with another round of nonsense and either argue things or try to restart things. I actually called the local court system in her town to get a Freedom of Information request to find out whether she'd ever been arrested or convicted of anything. I wrote the letter and was ready to send the request. The engineer in me wanted to collect data in order to draw a conclusion and support that conclusion. Life was busy, and I didn't get around to sending it for about a week or so. During that time, she hadn't tried to call or e-mail. I finally said, "Okay, I think I'm free of this mess. I don't have to go forward." I ended up being right, and I never had to talk to her again.

Bill

Wow! We do get ourselve into some unpredictable, very icky/sticky situations.

NWM, I am so glad that crazy scenario resolved with no permanent harm to you. The extreme distress that it cost you was real, though, no doubt.

You, too, Bill...awful when you are looking at a relationship situation and thinking you might have to be prepared for something really ugly.

I am getting to the point that it really doesn't’ matter much anymore. I am one of those who will probably never find a mate. Part of it is my fault, I reckon:: I am so damaged and scared of “repercussions” that I will not really allow myself to “get close” to someone easily, and such. 25 Years of rejection and maltreatment(ESPECIALLY by people who I THOUGHT cared about me or were “Christians”) can do that—I guess.

I have said this MANY times here, and I will say it again:: “I had rather be alone than with a woman who mad e me WISH I WAS ALONE!!”

And-”It is better to suffer in silence alone than to be humiliated in public”.

The “Friendship” I thought I had with that girl seems to have evaporated. It is just as well. Her son was getting in the way of EVERYTHING we wanted to do anyway. Not to mention—I had to make EVERY move, such as planning something for us or calling her. She would NOT call me first—not MATTER WHAT. plus—there did not seem to be anything “There” if you know what I mean(I can’t explain it myself—I just “felt(or DIDN’T feel) it”, if you know what I mean.)

Just as well. My second job is gone now, and spare money is MUCH tighter than it was. Although I MAY be selling a Big screen for 300 or more in a couple of days—so that would help a bit. The ETF convention is in a few weeks, as in a VERY special auction with one of the RAREST radios known to exist, the Crosley WLW model(no-I do NOT intend to bid, I just want the privilege of putting my hands on, and getting pictures of me with a radio that only 2 examples are known to exist!!) And then—in May the Hamfest will be here—and I intend to try and make a bit of money there too.