Posted on 07/28/2006 12:19:03 AM PDT by sully777
Phrases that sound innocent as well as dirty--depending on your mindset:
Petra told Ingrid, "You have a lovely rug."
Let's grab something at the golden arches.
St. Louis was once known as Mound City.
She was caught raising the flag this weekend.
The cavernous hole is wet with dew.
She favored wood as a golfer.
No one ever confused Lance as a wine sipper; hard stuff was his passion.
There was ecstatic joy as Marc Spitz lapped the pool several times in triumph, until he accidently fell into the mud.
We were in a tight spot as our camels' toes were stuck in the sand.
They sat silently, watching a Yankee game, when Bearnice cried out in delight, "Randy Johnson's pitches are high hard ones!" The girls nodded knowingly.
Shag was her favorite course in rug making at TCC's interior design class.
And the all-time classic:
If I tell you that's tight, will you hold that against me?
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need... = I want.
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins
14.Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
Newspaper Headlines That Are Double Entendres
Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Naughty tackle talk...
1. Get your tackle out
2. What a whopper!
3. I'm all wet
4. I'm having trouble with my rod
5. That's a tiddler
6. Fishnets
7. What kind of rod do you like?
8. Put your rubbers on
9. That's a big 'un!
10.I've caught something.
More...............
Have you seen the size of my pole?
Hold on to my whip! ( First time user advice on size of rod to use)
Is it deep enough! (Depth Finding Advice)
Your Plaice or mine! (Fish species advice)
Get your hands in there and make sure it is really moist! (ground bait mixing advice)
One rubber or two!!! (Float attachment advice)
even more......
Spare the rod and spoil the trout!
That ring needs whipping
I'm just adjusting my tackle
Please can I have one of your maggots?
The stiffer the rod, the better.
It's hit a lull, hasn't it? Hopefully it'll pick up again soon...
Ten sporting double entendres...
1. That's a lovely wood
2. Sink the pink
3. I'm a hooker
4. Let's switch sides
5. You've got some lovely tackle
6. Hole in one
7. That was a long jump
8. Nice balls
9. He's got a big rod
10. They think it's all over - it is now
Naughty chalk talk...
1. Toss for the break
2. I like hard tips
3. What a great follow through
4. Do you want to play with my balls?
5. I need an extension
6. The shaft
7. Aim for the hole
8. Get the long ones out
9. Pump it in
10.Make sure you've got a firm grip of the butt
Is that Arnold Schquirllnegger?
Yes, and he'll be bach!
Ten train double entendres...
1. Show us your buffers
2. Stoke my furnace
3. Pull my emergency cord
4. I'm pulling into the sidings
5. I'm entering the tunnel
6. Blow my whistle
7. Do you mind giving me a shunt
8. Mind the gap
9. Will you be my sleeper?
10. Chuff chuff
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