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Official Friday Silliness Thread Salutes Double Meanings.
The BBC because Brits are silly by nature ^ | 7-28-06 | sully777

Posted on 07/28/2006 12:19:03 AM PDT by sully777

Phrases that sound innocent as well as dirty--depending on your mindset:


Petra told Ingrid, "You have a lovely rug."
Let's grab something at the golden arches.
St. Louis was once known as Mound City.
She was caught raising the flag this weekend.
The cavernous hole is wet with dew.
She favored wood as a golfer.
No one ever confused Lance as a wine sipper; hard stuff was his passion.
There was ecstatic joy as Marc Spitz lapped the pool several times in triumph, until he accidently fell into the mud.
We were in a tight spot as our camels' toes were stuck in the sand.
They sat silently, watching a Yankee game, when Bearnice cried out in delight, "Randy Johnson's pitches are high hard ones!" The girls nodded knowingly.
Shag was her favorite course in rug making at TCC's interior design class.

And the all-time classic:
If I tell you that's tight, will you hold that against me?


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To: sully777; BJClinton

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need... = I want.

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = I need to complain

7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to

8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you

13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins

14.Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay


61 posted on 07/28/2006 5:43:27 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: sully777; BJClinton; EX52D; fredhead

Newspaper Headlines That Are Double Entendres

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half


62 posted on 07/28/2006 5:45:57 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: sully777; BJClinton; EX52D; fredhead; najida

Naughty tackle talk...

1. Get your tackle out
2. What a whopper!
3. I'm all wet
4. I'm having trouble with my rod
5. That's a tiddler
6. Fishnets
7. What kind of rod do you like?
8. Put your rubbers on
9. That's a big 'un!
10.I've caught something.


63 posted on 07/28/2006 5:48:12 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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More...............
Have you seen the size of my pole?
Hold on to my whip! ( First time user advice on size of rod to use)
Is it deep enough! (Depth Finding Advice)
Your Plaice or mine! (Fish species advice)
Get your hands in there and make sure it is really moist! (ground bait mixing advice)
One rubber or two!!! (Float attachment advice)


64 posted on 07/28/2006 5:51:45 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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even more......

Spare the rod and spoil the trout!

That ring needs whipping

I'm just adjusting my tackle

Please can I have one of your maggots?

The stiffer the rod, the better.


65 posted on 07/28/2006 5:55:04 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: All
Anyone home?????


66 posted on 07/28/2006 6:03:15 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: nuke rocketeer
Anyone home?????

It's hit a lull, hasn't it? Hopefully it'll pick up again soon...

67 posted on 07/28/2006 6:04:59 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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68 posted on 07/28/2006 6:05:49 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: nuke rocketeer
I'll see you two and raise one.


69 posted on 07/28/2006 6:10:08 AM PDT by CougarGA7 (There are no trophies for winning wars. Only consequences for losing them.)
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To: CougarGA7
I'll add two more.........


70 posted on 07/28/2006 6:12:29 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: sully777; BJClinton; EX52D; fredhead; najida

Ten sporting double entendres...
1. That's a lovely wood
2. Sink the pink
3. I'm a hooker
4. Let's switch sides
5. You've got some lovely tackle
6. Hole in one
7. That was a long jump
8. Nice balls
9. He's got a big rod
10. They think it's all over - it is now


71 posted on 07/28/2006 6:13:30 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: sully777; BJClinton; EX52D; fredhead; najida; The_Victor

Naughty chalk talk...
1. Toss for the break
2. I like hard tips
3. What a great follow through
4. Do you want to play with my balls?
5. I need an extension
6. The shaft
7. Aim for the hole
8. Get the long ones out
9. Pump it in
10.Make sure you've got a firm grip of the butt


72 posted on 07/28/2006 6:15:56 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: nuke rocketeer
I've got two voyeurs


73 posted on 07/28/2006 6:17:02 AM PDT by CougarGA7 (There are no trophies for winning wars. Only consequences for losing them.)
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To: sully777
All of the following are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear and be misread:

1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their web site is:

http://www.whorepresents.com


2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at:

http://www.expertsexchange.com


3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at:

http://www.penisland.net


4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at:

http://www.therapistfinder.com


5. There's the Italian Power Generator company:

http://www.powergenitalia.com



6. And don't forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales:

http://www.molestationnursery.com


7. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always:

http://www.ipanywhere.com


8. The First Cumming Methodist Church web site is:

http://www.cummingfirst.com


9. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky web site:

http://www.speedofart.com
74 posted on 07/28/2006 6:17:16 AM PDT by LA Woman3
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To: nuke rocketeer
And one case of mistaken identity.


75 posted on 07/28/2006 6:19:11 AM PDT by CougarGA7 (There are no trophies for winning wars. Only consequences for losing them.)
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To: CougarGA7
I'm gonna muscle in another voyeur.


76 posted on 07/28/2006 6:25:15 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: nuke rocketeer

Is that Arnold Schquirllnegger?


77 posted on 07/28/2006 6:29:03 AM PDT by CougarGA7 (There are no trophies for winning wars. Only consequences for losing them.)
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To: CougarGA7
I'll get photos of the action.


78 posted on 07/28/2006 6:29:19 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: CougarGA7

Yes, and he'll be bach!


79 posted on 07/28/2006 6:29:41 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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Ten train double entendres...
1. Show us your buffers
2. Stoke my furnace
3. Pull my emergency cord
4. I'm pulling into the sidings
5. I'm entering the tunnel
6. Blow my whistle
7. Do you mind giving me a shunt
8. Mind the gap
9. Will you be my sleeper?
10. Chuff chuff


80 posted on 07/28/2006 6:31:30 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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