My doughboy is seven inches!
Posted on 07/28/2006 12:19:03 AM PDT by sully777
Phrases that sound innocent as well as dirty--depending on your mindset:
Petra told Ingrid, "You have a lovely rug."
Let's grab something at the golden arches.
St. Louis was once known as Mound City.
She was caught raising the flag this weekend.
The cavernous hole is wet with dew.
She favored wood as a golfer.
No one ever confused Lance as a wine sipper; hard stuff was his passion.
There was ecstatic joy as Marc Spitz lapped the pool several times in triumph, until he accidently fell into the mud.
We were in a tight spot as our camels' toes were stuck in the sand.
They sat silently, watching a Yankee game, when Bearnice cried out in delight, "Randy Johnson's pitches are high hard ones!" The girls nodded knowingly.
Shag was her favorite course in rug making at TCC's interior design class.
And the all-time classic:
If I tell you that's tight, will you hold that against me?
Needs to be a lot more than $2k and double-dog for me...
The Top 13 Rejected Pokemon Names
Jigglybutt
Herpekachu
Bongbuzz
Rastamon
Chepejapaneztoi
Fartachu
Mommysbroke
Pustulette
Wakamole
Guntotingoth
Watchutawkinboutwillis
Tracilords
and the Number 1 Rejected Pokemon Name...
Liberachee
10 Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving But Aren’t
Reach in and grab the giblets.
Whew! That’s one terrific spread!
I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.
Talk about huge breasts!
“And he forces his way into the end zone!”
She’s 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down.
It’s Cool Whip time!
If I don’t unbuckle my pants, I’m going to burst!
It must be broken, ’cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out.
The Top 14 Signs Your SUV Is Too Damn Big
(Part I)
Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as "downsizing."
Before go you out, you have to file for a parade permit.
You're the first one in your neighborhood to own a 2004 Halliburton-Savior S-Class.
It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro into its orbit.
There are two successful Starbucks franchises located in the back seat.
It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.
It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down into an entire field, complete with goals.
You need a Sherpa and an oxygen tank to reach the driver's seat.
Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.
Mortgage payment = $2200. Texaco card payment = $2201.
When you pull up to the pharmacy window, they already have the package of extra small condoms bagged and ready to go.
You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be dismantled immediately.
Due to new military intel that has narrowed the search down to the inside of your vehicle, President Bush remains confident that Osama Bin Laden will someday be found.
and the Number 1 Sign Your SUV Is Too Damn Big...
The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.
Thought you said it was under protection?
(You're wearing me out JR, time for CB to take over. ;o))
This morning the Today show interviewed Maria Dahvana Headley, the woman who once decided for an entire year to say yes to every man who asked her on a date. The experiment resulted in a happy marriage and, more recently, her new book, The Year of Yes. After the interview, Matt Lauer asked Katie Couric about the range of men she had dated, and whether they were particularly good or bad:
Katie: Well, let's just say there are a lot of things that happened that we can't say on television.
Matt: Oh, so we'll have to beat around the bush.
The Top 20 Slogans for Legalized Marijuana
Got Buzz?
Pot: When You Care Enough Not to Care At All
A Day Without Pot is Like School
Weed My Lips!
Hey, America -- Let's Blow This joint!
What's So Great About Short-Term Memory Anyway?
Obey Your Jones
Hemp: The world's practical solution to making, like, paper and rope and necklaces and stuff
It's Not Just For Glaucoma Anymore!
Help Eradicate Road Rage in Our Lifetime
Official Sponsor of the NBA
Because the waste is a terrible thing to mi... Dude! I totally f***ed that up!
Cannabis: The PRE-Coital Smoke
This is your brain.
This is your brain on pot.
This is your brain desperately searching for Doritos.
When Was the Last Time You REALLY Looked at Your Hand?
SMOKE POT! (Did We Just Say That Out Loud? Or Did We Just Think It?)
Recommended by 5 Out of 5 Deadheads
Just Doob It
It's the all-the-time smokey, skunky, sticky, greeny, seedy, stemmy, doobie so-you-can-get-high medicine.
and the Number 1 Slogan for Legalized Marijuana...
Skull-Shaped Bong: $12.00
Primo Maui-Grown Bud: $25.00
Watching Teletubbies with Your Buddies: Priceless
The Top 14 Rejected Slogans for Beer
Beer: Getting sorority girls knocked up for 300 years
Goes Down Cold, Comes Up Smooth!
A decent excuse for your normal clumsy self
Because You're Sober
Tastes like piss, but you'll drink it anyway
Beer: That nasty taste means it's workin'!
You have to fill your bladder with something.
Don't Make Germany Angry. You Wouldn't Like Germany When It's Angry.
We don't make the urine. We make the urine faster.
Numbing the Embarrassment of Being You
It's the thicker-chicker-picker-upper!
Easier to Spell than Whiskey
The *Other* Thin Yellowish Liquid
and the Number 1 Rejected Slogan for Beer...
Beer: It's how you got here.
It's in the Witness Protection Program...the things it has seen...
Elvira, Elvira
My heart's on fire Elvira
Eyes that look like heaven, lips like sherry wine
That girl can sure enough make my little light shine
I get a funny feelin' up and down my spine
'Cause I know that my Elvira's mine
I'm singin'
Elvira, Elvira
My heart's on fire, Elvira
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Heigh-ho Silver, away
Tonight I'm gonna meet her at the Hungry House Cafe
And I'm gonna give her all the love I can, yes I am
She's gonna jump and holler
'Cause I saved up my last two dollars
We're gonna search and find that preacher man
Now I'm a singin'
Elvira, Elvira
My heart's on fire Elvira
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Heigh-ho Silver, away
Elvira, Elvira
My heart's on fire Elvira
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Heigh-ho Silver, away
Elvira, Yeah...
Elvira
My heart's on fire Elvira
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Heigh-ho Silver, away
Elvira, Yeah...
Elvira
My heart's on fire Elvira...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.