Women Like Funny Men
Posted on 07/14/2006 12:42:03 AM PDT by sully777
From the OFST Education FIles: Subgroup The Sexes and Silliness and Sex
Just a little messy!
YOur baby is just so adorable!
Q: What's a blonde's favorite wine?
A: "Daddy! can I go to Miami!
Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
A: She turned it over and used the other side.
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Blow in her ear.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: There are some things even a blonde won't do.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.
Q: Why do blondes look up and smile at lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline!
Q: Why do blondes have square breasts?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box!
Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
Q: Why can't blondes count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.
Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: Some traffic signs say stop.
Q: What did the blonde customer say to the waitress when reading her nametag?
A: "Mary... that's cute. What did you name the other one?"
Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
A: The noise gave her a headache.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.
Q: What do blondes say after sex?
A: "Thanks, guys!"
LMAO!!!!!
Then there was the blonde who called the DoT and asked them to move the deer crossing sign in front of her home. "They keep getting hit when they cross here," she explained.
Shalom.
There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach. They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.
One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn't be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two.
After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight. "What took you so long?" inquired the Redhead.
"There were some strong currents out there! But I'm here now! Am I the last?" replied the Brunette.
"No. Blondie is still out there somewhere." They decided to wait.
Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view. Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde "What took you so long?"
"What do you expect? You guy's cheated, replied the idignant blonde, "You used your hands!"
A: "Thanks, guys!"
A2: "Are all you guys on the same team?"
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically the blonde screams back at the husband, "Shut up! You're next!"
Unnngh.. I'd hate to find that in woman's pants...
Carlos the ice-cream man's van is parked at the side of the road. Lights flashing, music playing, a big queue of excited kids stretches down the street. But no sign of Carlos.
A policeman walking down the road wonders what is going on. Where is Carlos? Why is he not dishing out the ice-cream?
He goes over to the van and peers over the high counter. On the floor he spots Carlos, Lying very still covered in chocolate sauce, strawberry sauce, nuts, hundreds and thousands and those little jelly bits.
"Get back kids," he shouts. Moving away so the bemused kids cannot overhear him he gets on the radio to the station.
"Sargent - you'd get a team down here quick," he stutters, "It's Carlos the ice-cream man......He's topped himself!"
One day a blonde was horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started going too fast and bouncing out of control. The blonde tried with all her might to hang on, but soon was thrown off.
With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse would not stop or even slow down. Just as the blonde was about to give up hope and was losing consciousness...
The K-Mart manager came out and unplugged the horse.
"We have a policy at Playboy of only publishing natural blondes. After you got to the nude part of your audition we discovered that your pubic hairs were black."
At that she grabbed the paperweight on his desk and pounded it down on the fingers of his left hand. Yelling with pain he demanded, "Why did you do that!!??"
"Look at your fingers," she said. "They're turning black already and they've only been banged once!"
Shalom.
Kinky squirrel orgy.. I hate when that happens.....
A blond girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?"
"Yes darling, very good."
"Is that because I'm blond?"
"Yes darling, it's because you're blond."
Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K ! It's good "innit?"
"Yes darling, very good."
"Is that because I'm blond, mummy?"
"Yes darling it's because you're blond.
Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36 D's at her mummy. "Is that because I'm blond, mummy?"
"No darling, it's because you're 25."
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