EASTLAKE, Ohio - Eastlake police officers arrested a man who they say was so drunk he not only was talking to tobacco bags and swearing at them, he also confessed his love to a urinal. -snip- According to police, it appeared the man was trying to have a conversation with a bottle of vodka and with a customer who was standing in line. Officers said the man's speech was slurred, "his thoughts were confused and random and the conversation that he tried to convey between the bottle of vodka and the customer made no sense and was unintelligible."