There is probably no question so universally feared by men the world over than one heard throughout the living rooms of the world on a nightly basis. "What are you thinking about?" True, "Do I look fat?" is arguably more laden with inherent danger, but there the answer is obvious: "No." Now, this is not the typically self-flagellating column about men written by a man in a degrading attempt to appeal to female readers – the literary equivalent of the repugnant canine habit of rolling on one's back and urinating. Rather, it is a brief attempt to decrypt the male...