If you don't know why I'm pissed, read this from Matt. That noise you just heard was me loosening up my swearing muscles. It has been about three hours since I found out that CNN became a terrorist press agency, and it took that long to chill enough to type. I keep clenching all my muscles and imagining my hand, Ted Turner's scrawny neck, a wall, and a torrent of verbal abuse flowing from my cakehole to his entire existence, punctuated by occasional slams of him into said wall. WARNING LANGUAGE