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Please help. I need to write a letter to my child's Global Studies teacher who last week told the class that Abu-Ghraib (scandals) "was all Runsfeld's fault". I asked my child if she (the teacher) had offered any documentation or fact to support this and she said "I don't think so". One of the other students opined that he should be "impeached" to which the teacher replied that only presidents could be impeached. The student then said we "should impeach Bush", to which the teacher responded with a laugh. I might also add, that this teacher also told the students...

Not to be outdone by Ebonics in California, the Southern Association of Colleges & Schools is requesting billions of federal dollars to teach "Y'allbonics" in all classrooms south of the Mason-Dixon line. Included here are some samples of "Y'allbonics." If you do not understand any of them, contact a Southerner for an explanation. HEIDI: (noun) Greeting. HIRE YEW: (complete sentence) Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?" BARD: (verb) Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." JAWJUH: (noun) The state north of Florida. Capital is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my...

If the majority of at least one group of students at Adams High School had a vote, Michigan would immediately follow a Massachusetts ruling that now allows same-sex marriages to take place. About 24 students - all juniors - simulated a mock state Senate hearing Monday evening, where they debated whether gay marriage in Michigan should be legal before voting on the issue. When the would-be senators called for a vote, only five were in opposition to a bill that would let Michigan allow same-sex marriages. Ryan Scislowicz was one of the five students who believed that lesbians and gays...

There were two must-read stories on Page 1 of The New York Times. One, "Abortion-rights marchers vow to fight another Bush term," reported on the massive pro-choice rally that flooded the nation's capital one day earlier. The other, "Militants in Europe openly call for jihad and the rule of Islam," described the rise of Muslim supremacists who make no secret of their goal: the conversion of Europe to Islam, by force if necessary. The abortion rally was called the March for Women's Lives - a creepy Orwellian inversion if there ever was one. And yet countless marchers really did seem...

Three suspects are in the Oakland County Jail after being arraigned Saturday at the Farmington Hills Police Department in connection with a thwarted armed robbery attempt. Carl Walker, a 21-year-old Detroit resident, faces one charge each of conspiracy to commit armed robbery, possession of a firearm and carrying a concealed weapon. His bond was set at $500,000 cash assurity. His alleged accomplice, Monique Bell, 26, of Detroit, faces six charges: Conspiracy to commit armed robbery, possession of a weapon by a convicted felon, possession of a firearm in the commission of a felony, carrying a concealed weapon, driving with a...

Four years ago, she was helpless as a man robbed her at gunpoint. On Friday, legally armed with a handgun, she may have saved her life. And Farmington Hills Police Chief William Dwyer, who dreaded a change in the law in 2001 to make it easier to receive a concealed weapons permit, admits that he's changing his mind about that law. Dwyer said the woman could easily have been killed after she was targeted by a couple looking for an easy score. They were waiting at 6:30 a.m. outside an office building at the southeast corner of 12 Mile and...

Subject: Join me in a Virtual March on Washington Please join me NOW in registering for a Virtual March on Washington for February 26th. We are asking Congress to stop the Bush administration's rush to war, and to Let the Inspections Work. Time is running out. With your help, on February 26th, every Senate office will receive a call EVERY MINUTE from a constituent, as they receive a simultaneous crush of faxes and email. In New York and Washington D.C., "antiwar rooms" will highlight the progress of the day for national media. Local media will visit the "antiwar room" online,...

I called my dad today to wish him a happy birthday. During our conversation he told me he had added Ted Danson to his list of "a$$h*les" along with Clooney, etc. Apparently Danson's character on Sunday's episode of "Becker" made a nasty remark about Republicans which really ticked him (Dad) off. He wondered if I had read or heard anything. Anyone...?

BOVILL, Idaho --- When Lloyd Hall's cows come home, his neighbors tend to complain. Now, they've retaliated. The Bovill bovines leave their calling cards on streets and lawns. Residents became so irate over the latest visitation that about 50 marched into City Hall on Monday to demand some action. By Tuesday morning, Hall, a 77-year-old former mayor who served 45 years on the City Council, was complaining that somebody had corralled seven of his herd and he wanted them back. "They're worth about $600 a piece," he said. City Councilman Phil Stradley later confirmed that he and other residents had...

These useful quotes are from actual federal employee performance evaluations: 1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this employee to breed. 3. This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won't-be. 4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. 5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet. 6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. 7. This young lady has...

I recently wrote a letter to my local paper in response to another reader's assertion that it is the U.S. government's job to "provide for and protect children". I argued in my letter that it WAS the government's job to protect, that it was the parents' job to provide. Aside from totally screwing up the continuity of my letter, the paper's editing made it sound as though I was questioning the government's job as protector. I came across as a total idiot. I sent the editor an e-mail about their "editing" skills and suggested that the staff attend refresher English...

Shock rocker Marilyn Manson pleaded no contest to misdemeanor assault and battery and disorderly conduct charges for gyrating against a security guard last summer. Clarkston district Judge Gerald McNally on Wednesday fined Manson $4,000 but denied a prosecutor's request for jail time and counseling. Earlier, McNally had dismissed a fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct charge, which was a felony with a maximum penalty of two years in prison. A no-contest plea is not an admission of guilt, but the defendant agrees to accept the court's punishment. Manson, whose real name is Brian Warner, did not speak during his hearing, other than...