Free Republic

6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony. 6:00pm - Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton 6:30pm - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand. 6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 7:00pm - Tribute theme to France. 7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund. 7:25pm - Tribute theme to Germany. 7:45pm - Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore) 8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop. 9:00pm - "Fair and Balanced" Media Workshop, led by Al Franken 9:30pm - * Intermission * (cocktail party hosted by Ted Kennedy) 10:00pm - Posting the Iraqi...

It turns out that Mel Gibson isn't the only one likely to make a bundle from his latest movie, The Passion of the Christ. The other big beneficiary, ironically enough, will almost surely be American Jewry's so-called defense organizations, for whom Gibson's film is, pardon the expression, a gift from heaven. After all, this is quite a story, combining controversy, celebrity, and fears of anti-Semitism. Indeed, it is exactly the kind of scenario American Jewry's self-appointed leaders so desperately crave. It offers them an opportunity to demonstrate to their donor base just how essential a role they can play. More...

As we all know, Abe Foxman denounced the movie. I heard he recanted, but am unable to find any evidence. I would like to write a letter to my local Jewish paper explaining just how much Foxman has done to "improve" Jewish/Christian relations with his whining, as well as make a few well-chosen remarks about his credibility. Can anyone supply me with a link to the article where Foxman recants? Thanks.

Question: How do you tell the difference between liberals, conservatives, and southerners? Answer: Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Liberal Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed?...

Last Saturday, a young man in Karachi, Pakistan, greeted a young woman in a university classroom with "Happy Valentine's Day." In most of the world these would be innocuous good wishes; in Karachi, they were fighting words. Other students objected to them, leading to a fist fight and the injury of two students. As this incident suggests, in some cultures Valentine's Day prompts controversy. The Saudi religious authorities issued an edict indicating that "There are only two holidays in Islam - Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha - and any other holidays ... are inventions which Muslims are banned from" and...

There is a lot of worry popping up in the media just now -- "Can Israel Survive?" Don't worry about it. It relates to something that Palestinians, the Arabs, and perhaps most Americans don't realize -- the Jews are never going quietly again. Never. And if the world doesn't come to understand that millions of Arabs are going to die. It's as simple as that. Throughout the history of the world, the most abused, kicked-around race of people have been the Jews. Not just the holocaust of World War II, but for thousands of years. They have truly been "The...

How do you play Iraqi bingo? F-16 ... B-52 ... F-18 ... A-10 ... B-17 What is the Iraqi air force motto? I came, I saw, Iran. Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? You only have to teach them to take off. Have you heard about the new Iraqi air force exercise program? Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there. What's the five-day forecast for Baghdad? Two days. What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? They both have Kurds in their way. What...

The Arab Street is not the Champs Elysees. In our big-hearted innocence, we expected a repeat of that scene a generation ago when 40 million Frenchmen threw their daughters at us in gratitude. This is not happening today in Iraq. As we can see for ourselves, but as the Philadelphia Inquirer put it diplomatically -- "Even some ordinary Iraqis are greeting advancing U.S. and British forces as invaders, not as liberators." So forget the chewing gum and the nylons as a means to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people. Here's a terrible thought: Maybe these are not...

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba I've just returned from Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Naval Air Station base where we did three shows for the troops and toured several locations around the post visiting with some of the finest military personnel on planet earth. The kids seemed to really enjoy the shows and especially liked "This Ain't No Rag, It's A Flag" and "In America". We had a great time with them. We saw Camp X-Ray, where the Taliban detainees are being held, only from a distance, but I picked up a lot of what's going on there from talking with a lot of...

WITH SEPT. 11 APPROACHING, THIS IS WORTH READING AND PASSING ON...."DO NOT FORGET" I sat in a movie theater watching "Schindler's List," asked myself, "Why didn't the Jews fight back?" Now I know why. I sat in a movie theater, watching "Pearl Harbor" and asked myself, "Why weren't we prepared?" Now I know why. Civilized people cannot fathom, much less predict, the actions of evil people. On September 11, dozens of capable airplane passengers allowed themselves to be overpowered by a handful of poorly armed terrorists because they did not comprehend the depth of hatred that motivated their captors. On...

Yes, here it is: the Darwin Awards 2002. The candidates have finally been released! For those not familiar with the Darwin Award, it's an annual honor given to the person who provided the Universal human gene pool the biggest service by getting KILLED in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keen. Some candidates appear to have trained their whole lives for this event! HERE ARE THE AWARD CANDIDATES In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to...

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing. The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you." The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."