Free Republic

It's said that commercial advertising is the most accurate barometer of social attitude trends. So the next time you're waiting for 'The View' to resume, play along in an exercise to read that barometer in the context of eliminating white males from mainstream culture.

Student loan debt in the United States recently exceeded $1.5 trillion, growing exponentially as enrollment continues to rise and defaults by former students continues to increase. Republicans arguing against loan forgiveness and federally funded tuition are quick to blame educational institutions for not properly providing degrees that command career earning power commensurate with their costs. Typically, the true nature of the problem is being ignored - the inability to satisfy educational debts is a direct result of cultural bias rampant in corporate America.

BERKLEY, CA - Owners of "The ManHole" - an iconic local establishment catering to gay, non-binary individuals who identify as male - has filed a lawsuit against the City of Berkley over its recent ban of certain gender specific terms. The lawsuit claims the ban is an "egregious assault on non-threatening casual gender specificity" and that forcing the bar to change its name would be detrimental to business.

NASHVILLE, TN - In the aftermath of a dust-up at MTV's video music awards, Kanye West and Taylor Swift have announced a collaboration on a new music video project. The duo is slated to perform a reprise of 'Ebony and Ivory', the Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder duet credited for providing racial harmony for a two week period in the Spring of 1982. Sources close to both performers say the project will provide much needed healing to the music community and devastated Beyonce fans...

EDEN PRARIE, MN - Brett Favre has announced that he will retire following the 2010 season with the Minnesota Vikings. The surprise announcement came after the second day of practices with his new team, and ended hours of speculation regarding the star's future following his surprise signing on Tuesday. Sources close to Favre say he has been considering retirement for quite some time.

DENVER, CO - An animal protection group has announced a bold plan to protect thousands of animals that are at risk of being victimized by unregulated carnivores. Wildlife experts say that every 10 seconds, somewhere in America a helpless animal is torn to pieces by a wild coyote. The group - the American Society to Prevent Coyote Attacks - plans a massive coyote hunt to protect at-risk woodland creatures...

CAMBRIDGE, MA - Sgt. James Crowley, the policeman at the center of Harvard professor Henry Gates' arrest controversy, has issued an official apology nearly two weeks after the incident occurred. In a written statement released through the Cambridge Police Media Office, Crowley admitted the entire controversy could have been avoided if he were not white, and that he should have called for backup from an African-American officer.

WASHINGTON, DC - A new UPI /Gallup poll has revealed that President Barack Obama's broad appeal to the American people may be beginning to wane slightly. The poll, with a margin of error of plus or minus 45%, indicates Obama's approval rating has dipped below 100% for the first time in his Presidency. Early reactions from the White House point to sloppy poll taking, however some independent experts speculate there may be some Americans who actually disapprove of the President.

WASHINGTON, DC - The Food and Drug Administration unveiled tough new guidelines today designed to regulate certain provocative food advertisements and programming, widely known in the industry as 'food porn'. The new regulations apply to all print, broadcast and cable media, and are to be in effect by August 1st. Supporters of the regulations say the new guidelines are needed to fight the obesity epidemic, and claim that advertisers and network executives have shamelessly exploited food for long enough.

ATLANTA, GA - An analysis of the $787 billion stimulus package conducted by the Centers for Disease Control has revealed that no funding has been allocated to fight Whine Flu, which officials acknowledge has been spreading rapidly in recent months. Researchers speculate that the stimulus bill may actually be contributing to the spread of the illness. Those afflicted with the ailment suffer from rapid onsets of depression, fits of extreme hopelessness and complain about pretty much everything.

WASHINGTON, DC - Seeking new ways to extract valuable intelligence from enemy combatants, the CIA has embarked on a program of innovative interrogation techniques that do not involve physical contact with the subject. In an effort to quell public suspicion, the agency released this training video

WASHINGTON, DC - In response to President Obama's bold challenge to cut government spending by $100 million, Congress voted today to cut fancy ketchup from its catering and cafeteria budget. The move is expected to generate nearly half of the savings the White House has mandated. The savings is expected to reduce the federal budget by nearly 0.00028%...

NAIROBI, KENYA - Somali pirates today voted in a secret ballot to organize under a labor union agreement and enter into collective bargaining negotiations with the Somali warlords. Representatives for the pirates say the recent outbreak of on-the-job deaths left the group no choice but to organize and demand a safer workplace and higher pay...

DETROIT, MI - General Motors intends to create a new auto division as part of its plan to avoid Chapter 11 bankruptcy, according to sources inside the company. The division will focus on the production of wind hybrids - a new, yet unproven technology that combines wind power, battery operated electrical motors and conventional gasoline engines. Executives believe the move will satisfy consumer demand for environmentally friendly cars and fulfill government requirements for continued public funding...

PASADENA, CA - Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory released data today indicating an unmistakable cooling trend during 'Earth Hour'. The event, in which citizens voluntarily shut off unnecessary lights and appliances for one hour, was held to raise awareness of global climate change. Scientists say the event was so successful that temperatures were noticeably cooler during the event than even a mere six hours before.

JACKSONVILLE, FL - A mixture of two popular erectile dysfunction medications has lead to the untimely death of a local man. Reginald Grunger, 52, apparently lost his balance and fell of the deck of a cruise ship while vacationing with his wife. Cruise line officials confirmed that Grunger had ingested large amounts of both Viagra and ExtenZe before the accident.

SAN DIEGO, CA - A study conducted by the Food and Drug Administration and Howyflyl University reveals that Quaaludes have proven to be an effective treatment for adult ADHD, and could one day wipe out the dreaded disease. The drug, once popular as a recreational barbiturate in the 1970's, is now being hailed as the new 'Ritalin for Adults', and could be on the over-the-counter market within weeks.

WASHINGTON, DC - A report by the Education Department may have had a major influence on the decision by Congress to delay the switchover of television signals from analog to digital. The report concluded that anywhere from 10 to 20 million additional babies would be born during the period from 9 months to 12 months after February 17th had the switch occurred. The report went on to warn of the potential drain on the economy from this 'mini generation.'

NEW YORK, NY - Preliminary data from the United Nation's World Health Organization indicate that 2008 was the deadliest year in history. Worldwide deaths were up a staggering 0.6% from the previous record set in 2007, continuing a series of increases throughout this century. As has been the case in most years, the sick and the elderly were the hardest hit...

WASHINGTON, DC - The Labor Department today unveiled a new program to help benefit recipients deal with extended unemployment guidelines. Included in the program is a training video detailing unemployment maintenance techniques... (see video here)