Undisclosed Location, Afghanistan)-- Leaders of Al-Qaeda announced today that they are officially backing Massachusetts Senator John F. “Frenchy” Kerry in the 2004 United States presidential campaign. “We examined very carefully the policies of the candidates of the two major political parties,” said Sheik Ali bin Mooqi, chairman of Al-Qaeda’s Committee for Jihad and Political Outreach, “And we determined that Senator Kerry’s policies are good for Al-Qaeda. We are especially impressed with Senator Kerry’s desire to let the United Nations take over the War Against Terror. Diplomatic dialogue is the terrorist’s best friend, and we are encouraged by Senator Kerry’s embrace...